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Your just a pawn in the devil's game
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Rengya_Utoma

Maknae
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purgatory
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Toradora!
Minori Kushieda
Dancing Panda
Winking Face With Tongue
I wanna kill myself but I know I can't because that'll prove everyone right and somehow I'd get the blame on me like I always fucking do.

I truly am in purgatory
 

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Your just a pawn in the devil's game
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I wanna kill myself but I know I can't because that'll prove everyone right and somehow I'd get the blame on me like I always fucking do.

I truly am in purgatory
ik u don't know me and all that but do u wanna talk abt it?
 
bro just say you hate me
arguing with a kid is insane like get a fucking job omg instead of sitting on the couch like a fucking pig (ik i'm 19 but i consider myself still a kid lwk)
 
i hate who I am. I don't know my self worth, I'm scared of rejection, I feel like I'm never loved, and ofc course I can't fake my emotions - if Im sad, I'll cry, if I'm happy, I'll scream etc... I just want to lock myself away from people. I don't fit in, I never will.
 
Joined
Nov 13, 2025
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14
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โ‡— stateside โ‡–
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โœฆ Her name is pink โœฆ
Kitty Kiss
Mi no give no shits anymore, like okay? i am 14 lemme fuck up in life, i still have time to lock in, like stop and get a job, maybe then i could look up to you? Because why should i listen to some old person telling me what to do, when they can'r give themselves as examples? like just shut the fuck up and just take a break to find a job.
 

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๐Œ๐š๐ค๐ง๐š๐ž ๐ž๐š๐ญ๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ โ˜˜๏ธ
Member
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Outside in the snow, im coldโ„๏ธ
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Liv
Karina
โœฆ Fine Shen โœฆ
Excited Cat
He works 80% of the time, I only see him for 30 mins in the morning, 2 hours after lunch and at least and hour at night, yet he still manages to pmo. I GET that u donโ€™t like me, and frankly, I donโ€™t care if you tell your damn extended family that Iโ€™m โ€˜uselessโ€™. Hang it up on a banner outside the door if you really feel the need. I donโ€™t care if u get het up cuz I donโ€™t stand by the side of the mf door and greet u with a bowl mf grapes. Yes Iโ€™m grateful for what uโ€™ve done, but that doesnโ€™t mean that u can treat me like your freaking SERVANT. Sorry for having a life, dear father, sorry for being too stupid to cater for your needs before my own, dear father, my sincerest apologies for not giving two fvcks, dear father
 

StarlightSilverCrown2

Face of The Group
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Tilly death do us part, Pearl.
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Kihyun
Yeonjun
โœฆ Nightwalker TEN โœฆ
Penomeco
I just finished my last closing shift I have to do for my training, don't get me wrong I am really happy I have a job, my savings account went from 0 to $832 with my first paycheck since 2024. I'm truthfully really really grateful for the chance, as when MONSTA X or Wonho (whoever comes first to canada), I wanted to get ultimate VIP anyway, and I'll have my new phone from then as my first phone upgrade in six years which aka means a better camera for fancams ๐Ÿคญ

But for me, these last six days have been hard, I've been with negative people for a majority of my life, the one training me I don't believe is a bad person, but I've tried to throw in silly jokes, try to connect with them, yet it just seems like a failure, I made her smile once though which was nice. I just don't understand how every day you can find something so negative to focus on, she has so many great things going on, and it just seems like she only focuses on the negatives?

Part of me wonders if she just didn't like me, even though she really doesn't know me that well, she's very standoff ish and honestly kinda scary, I've been doing my best to pay attention and memorize stuff but I quiet literally have issues with my memory, if I do something wrong tell me and I can change it, don't watch me do something wrong and come back saying the fuck* word at me and expect a different result.
 

StarlightSilverCrown2

Face of The Group
Author
Member
Joined
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Messages
2,148
Location
Tilly death do us part, Pearl.
Website
www.youtube.com
Credits
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Kihyun
Yeonjun
โœฆ Nightwalker TEN โœฆ
Penomeco
I just finished my last closing shift I have to do for my training, don't get me wrong I am really happy I have a job, my savings account went from 0 to $832 with my first paycheck since 2024. I'm truthfully really really grateful for the chance, as when MONSTA X or Wonho (whoever comes first to canada), I wanted to get ultimate VIP anyway, and I'll have my new phone from then as my first phone upgrade in six years which aka means a better camera for fancams ๐Ÿคญ

But for me, these last six days have been hard, I've been with negative people for a majority of my life, the one training me I don't believe is a bad person, but I've tried to throw in silly jokes, try to connect with them, yet it just seems like a failure, I made her smile once though which was nice. I just don't understand how every day you can find something so negative to focus on, she has so many great things going on, and it just seems like she only focuses on the negatives?

Part of me wonders if she just didn't like me, even though she really doesn't know me that well, she's very standoff ish and honestly kinda scary, I've been doing my best to pay attention and memorize stuff but I quiet literally have issues with my memory, if I do something wrong tell me and I can change it, don't watch me do something wrong and come back saying the fuck* word at me and expect a different result.
I've come to terms with the idea of everyone liking me, yes not everyone will and I totally get that, but at least don't swear in front of the customers when they ask a basic question, hey did they put it in the wrong spot? yes? did we have three things of eggs break today? yes, but that's not always there fault, and if anything the aisles by the eggs are not wheelchair friendly once so ever either. Getting mad at something out of your control just seems to much.

Her first response to everything was a swear word, and it was just to much. Thankfully, I don't have to work closing with her for a while and I would love to build a relationship with her, but in the end our personalities are just so far apart and different. I hope she has a better time, after all if she really dislikes her job she does have the power to change it I would think, but please don't take it out on the new recruit..
 
He works 80% of the time, I only see him for 30 mins in the morning, 2 hours after lunch and at least and hour at night, yet he still manages to pmo. I GET that u donโ€™t like me, and frankly, I donโ€™t care if you tell your damn extended family that Iโ€™m โ€˜uselessโ€™. Hang it up on a banner outside the door if you really feel the need. I donโ€™t care if u get het up cuz I donโ€™t stand by the side of the mf door and greet u with a bowl mf grapes. Yes Iโ€™m grateful for what uโ€™ve done, but that doesnโ€™t mean that u can treat me like your freaking SERVANT. Sorry for having a life, dear father, sorry for being too stupid to cater for your needs before my own, dear father, my sincerest apologies for not giving two fvcks, dear father
B!TCH. U. R. NOT. USELESS. IF YOUR "dEareSt AmAzinG FaThEr" IS TREATING U LIKE SH!T, THEN HE CAN SAY BYE BYE TO YOUR CARING, LOVING SELF. U R ANYTHING BUT USELESS, IN FACT, UR SO SO SO SO SO USEFUL. HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO TELL THE REST OF THE FAMILY ABSOLOUTE BS. BC GUESS WHAT, ITS NOT TRUE. GURL, ATP LET ME BE UR FATHER. ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿซถ
 

.๐•๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ข๐š๐ง๐Š๐ข โœฎ

๐Œ๐š๐ค๐ง๐š๐ž ๐ž๐š๐ญ๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ โ˜˜๏ธ
Member
Joined
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Outside in the snow, im coldโ„๏ธ
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Karina
โœฆ Fine Shen โœฆ
Excited Cat
B!TCH. U. R. NOT. USELESS. IF YOUR "dEareSt AmAzinG FaThEr" IS TREATING U LIKE SH!T, THEN HE CAN SAY BYE BYE TO YOUR CARING, LOVING SELF. U R ANYTHING BUT USELESS, IN FACT, UR SO SO SO SO SO USEFUL. HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO TELL THE REST OF THE FAMILY ABSOLOUTE BS. BC GUESS WHAT, ITS NOT TRUE. GURL, ATP LET ME BE UR FATHER. ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿซถ
Awww ty lol ๐Ÿ˜‚
 

Cutie_Boo

Band Leader
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Nyan Cat
Juhoon
Rui
ABO DESIRE ver.1
I want every single one of yawl to know that you are worth it and that you guys are all beautiful
You don't need nobody to tell you shit bout yourself cause you're the only one who knows the true you
Love yourself
Be yourself
You girls and boys are worth so much and you don't even know it
 
I want every single one of yawl to know that you are worth it and that you guys are all beautiful
You don't need nobody to tell you shit bout yourself cause you're the only one who knows the true you
Love yourself
Be yourself
You girls and boys are worth so much and you don't even know it
OMG TYSM- I rlly needed to hear that.... <333
 

~*void*~

Kpop Amateur
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Kansas
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okay, so. Im new but a lot has been happining in my life for the past few years. Ever since i came out with my preffered name and as gay i feel as if i have to put a mask on when i walk into my house with my parents. like i'll say something about my feelings and theyll be like "watch your tone {insert government name here}" but then they'll be like "{government name here} why don't you tell us anything". It makes me feel like crap, and feel like as if they don't really care. thing is when i came out they were like "we need time." its been two fucking years....
 

Cutie_Boo

Band Leader
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Nyan Cat
Juhoon
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ABO DESIRE ver.1
okay, so. Im new but a lot has been happining in my life for the past few years. Ever since i came out with my preffered name and as gay i feel as if i have to put a mask on when i walk into my house with my parents. like i'll say something about my feelings and theyll be like "watch your tone {insert government name here}" but then they'll be like "{government name here} why don't you tell us anything". It makes me feel like crap, and feel like as if they don't really care. thing is when i came out they were like "we need time." its been two fucking years....
I don't know what you're going through and I don't you personally but I want you to know that you aren't alone. You can get through this you can get that courage you need to tell your parents. it'll take time. Me personally I have been in a foster home that used to call me queer because of my sexuality and that shit was hard. But I got through that fear. You can get through it too! Its scary to tell others who you are and who you want to be because of that fear of not being accepted by the one's you love. Soon you will find your home. A place where you can be you!! Just know that you are loved girl!!
 
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