for as long as I can remember I would talk to myself like I was talking to somebody in real life. Whenever I was alone in my room or when nobody else is around I would just have a pretend conversation with somebody. For example, just yesterday I was having a pretend conversation when I would say something, the person i'm pretending to talk to would reply to me in my head, and I would reply to them out loud as if they were really there. I don't know if something is wrong with me, and that's why for the longest time I've restrained from even mentioning this kind or thing in conversation or anything to avoid being called insane or something. I know my family would send me away over something so minor, I could only imagine what they would do to me if they knew about this. This is the first time I've ever said anything about these things ever and the only time I've even mentioned this kind of thing publicly for anybody to see. I'm so scared, I don't want to be called insane or anything and I don't know how to deal with this. Somebody I love or somebody I'm close to in real life finding out about this is my worst nightmare. i don't know what to do or if I should ask a professional about these things. Even if I did have the opportunity to seek help and ask somebody about these things I would be too scared and way too anxious to say anything. I'm horrified of anybody in my life finding out about this, I don't wanna be called insane or crazy or anything, I want to seek help but I'm so scared. I don't know how to stop doing these kinds of things. Please, don't call me insane or anything. I don't know if i'm overthinking of if I'm underestimating how big of a deal something like this is. I don't know if me confessing to something like this is a big deal or not, so please bear with me when I say, what do I do with myself?
and i dont even know why I do this, is it because I feel alone? is it because when I call for help I'm used to people assuming it's a false claim and I just want somebody to validate me even if it isn't real? or is it because i'm slowly but surely losing my sanity?
I don't feel human anymore, I swear.
But i'm just an attention wh0re, remember that.
The truth will be released when I die a brutal death and my mom finds my notebook of all my inner thoughts and silent cries for help. I just want out but no, ""this is all just a part of life"". yea okay me wanting to kms in the most vile and disgusting ways possible is just a part of f*cking puberty.
no.
I don't feel human anymore, I swear.
But i'm just an attention wh0re, remember that.
The truth will be released when I die a brutal death and my mom finds my notebook of all my inner thoughts and silent cries for help. I just want out but no, ""this is all just a part of life"". yea okay me wanting to kms in the most vile and disgusting ways possible is just a part of f*cking puberty.
no.