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Lucifer

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I WANT TO FUCKING DIE DIE DIE DIE IDONT EVEN FUCKING CARE ANYMORE JUST FUCKING KILL ME KILL ME TAKE MY LIFE AND THROW IT IN A DUMPSTER I DONT CARE IM JUST SICK AND TIRED OF BEING HERE NO ONE LOVES ME, NO ONE CARES, NO.ONE. I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY, I KNOW YOU'RE LYING TO MY JUST ADMIT YOU HATE ME AND LET ME DIE. IM DONE NOT EATING. I'M DONE SLITTING MY WRISTS, MY THIGHS, MY ANKLES, MY CALVES, MY EVERYTHING. I'M JUST FUCKING DONE. BUT HEY IT'LL BE ALL BETTER WHEN MY HEART STOPS, RIGHT? HAHAHAHAHA I WISH MY HEART WOULD STOP JUST CUT IT OUT JUST STOP STOP STOP STOP BEATING, STOP PUMPING BLOOD, STOP EVERYTHING
Are you sure your not loved that's wrong we are here for you and we love you.PM me if you need a talk <3
 
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Lucifer

Guest
maybe i'm a big mess in school, i can't, i'm so stressed of being perfect
but why am i like that? I regret sometimes what i'm doing. grlgrlg i'm idk
Not everyone is perfect and try your best provovre to everyone that you can do it and take small steps at a time we are here for you <3 DM Me if you need a talk
 
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Lucifer

Guest
Well my mind is getting insane every second of my little unimportant life...Sweet F.A. Now nobody's gonna take it...
 
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Lucifer

Guest
Last night, someone I thought i was close too, told me she wishes I had succeeded in killing myself the last time I tried and that she hopes I try again soon because I don’t deserve to be alive. I kind of laughed it off, thinking she was joking, but then I knew she was serious when she said I deserved it. When I asked what “it” was, she goes “you know what it is, don’t be stupid” and I was confused, so I kept asking her and she finally said “you deserved the rape that happened to you. That’s what you get for talking to someone else’s boyfriend.” And I just started crying because I couldn’t understand why she was being like this. We weren’t the best of friends but we were pretty good friends in high school and she was one of the first people I told the incident about. I asked her if she really meant that and she said “of course I do. You don’t deserve to be alive or even loved. No one even likes you, people just pretend they do or else you act like this.” And then I blocked her number. But the whole thing has been on my mind all night, it caused me to stay up until 5am this morning, just thinking, that maybe she is right. And I have been thinking about it all morning and the different ways I could do something about it....but it all leads back to one thing, that she’s right and maybe I should just listen to her for once.
Haha where's this b***h i'll torque...you deserve better people not people who incourgy this kind of stuff...my teacher was right I should be a motivational speaker...
I should shut up
 

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so, guess I won’t be telling the doctors how I’ve been suicidal for the last three months or so because my parents said I would be “tearing the family apart” and DHS will take my kids away among other things and if that happens, I won’t have a place to stay.(they’ll kick me out on the streets), so I asked if I could ask for medicine for my anxiety attacks and at least they agreed to that. So maybe I can at least get some relief with that.
 
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