{•------»Mental Health Support Space«------•}

[RoseandRosie]

i hurt so much for all of you why does the world have to be so unkind

Not everyone can be so kind sadly...

 

[pika_chuu]

Not everyone can be so kind sadly...

 

[RoseandRosie]

Sorry kid, its the sad truth.

 

[pika_chuu]

Sorry kid, its the sad truth.

but if im kind, maybe someone else will be kind, and then everyone will be kind

 

[RoseandRosie]

but if im kind, maybe someone else will be kind, and then everyone will be kind

Oh I wish that's how it works.

 

[pika_chuu]

Oh I wish that's how it works.

if i believe it hard enough, my wish will come true!

 

[RoseandRosie]

if i believe it hard enough, my wish will come true!

I hope your wish does come true one day!

 

[pika_chuu]

I hope your wish does come true one day!

 

[escapism]

Rant time. Feel free to ignore me haha.

I was going to make this as a profile post but it would be too long. So here I am.

So last night, I finally decided to tell my parents I think I needed professional help again because the last month or so I haven’t been myself and have been feeling very suicidal and attempted a few times.
It took a lot for me to open up to them, because I usually don’t talk to my parents about this stuff because it always ends up the way it did last night. Here’s how our convo went:

Me: So I think I need to see a therapist again or, maybe go spend some time at Talifario(the mental hospital here where I live), because for the last month or so, I haven’t felt safe with myself. I have also tried to kill myself a couple of times...

My mom: *sighs heavily and rolls her eyes* You just need to lose weight. If you weren’t so heavy, you would be happy. And stop trying to act like a fucking teenager. You’re 30 fucking years old, fucking act like it and stop setting a bad example for your kids.

At this point, I am getting irritated and I made eye contact with my dad and he gave me that “just breathe, don’t get mad” look.

Me: Yes, I was happy when I was skinny before...but I was also on meds and they helped some...I’m not acting like a child, I am saying I need help, plus haven’t you been telling me I need help? Every time we get into an argument, the first thing you say is I “need to seek professional help” and here I am, agreeing.

MM: You don’t need help. You’re just trying to get out of taking care of your kids, by getting yourself locked up. Plus, they wouldn’t even take you because they wouldn’t believe the lies you tell. You just need to lose weight and stop sitting on your ass all day.

Me: Omg. Why is everything about my weight? I can’t lose weight when you keep bringing junk food in the house!

MM: You’re the one who buys it.

Me: I FUCKING DON’T. I tell you every goddamn time we go to the store, I’m not buying junk food for the kids, and what do you do? YOU PUT THREE FUCKING BIG BOXES OF BROWNIES IN MY CART BECAUSE RYLAN(my son)NEEDS THEM FOR SCHOOL.

At this point, my mom is calling me an ungrateful child, etc. My dad starts getting on me for “cursing” at my mother. By this time, I am having a full blown panic attack and crying.

“Stop acting like a child. You need to act like your age, lose weight, get a job, get yourself a man, and get on with your life, you’re already ruining your kid’s lives.” My mom says to me.

By this time, I was done. I got up and looked at them. “Fine, I won’t get help. I hope when I eventually die, whether it’s by *******, my eating disorder or something else, I hope you are happy, you want me to lose weight? Fine, don’t cook for me anymore but don’t scream at me when I’m sitting at the dinner table having a panic attack over food. I’m fucking done.”

And today she has been acting all nice to me, as if nothing happened last night. So. I’m done. I won’t get help. I’ll just keep going down the road I am going. I’ll die eventually, I don’t care.​

Losing weight doesn't automatically erase any damaged mental health. That's not a proper mindset. Skinny doesn't mean happy. However, if losing weight can slowly make things better you may consult a dietitian for it and definitely don't starve yourself. This will make your mental health even worse. If you need any tips, you can ask me sis (as I've visited a dietitian and I'm on an organized diet right now). And I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

 

[anmybeloved]

It's all my fault, everything is because of me, I'm guilty, arrest me, idfc

 

[saaylhy]

maybe i'm a big mess in school, i can't, i'm so stressed of being perfect
but why am i like that? I regret sometimes what i'm doing. grlgrlg i'm idk

 

[pika_chuu]

Spoiler: rant. triggering ed, sh, *******, caps, idk

I WANT TO FUCKING DIE DIE DIE DIE IDONT EVEN FUCKING CARE ANYMORE JUST FUCKING KILL ME KILL ME TAKE MY LIFE AND THROW IT IN A DUMPSTER I DONT CARE IM JUST SICK AND TIRED OF BEING HERE NO ONE LOVES ME, NO ONE CARES, NO.ONE. I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY, I KNOW YOU'RE LYING TO MY JUST ADMIT YOU HATE ME AND LET ME DIE. IM DONE NOT EATING. I'M DONE SLITTING MY WRISTS, MY THIGHS, MY ANKLES, MY CALVES, MY EVERYTHING. I'M JUST FUCKING DONE. BUT HEY IT'LL BE ALL BETTER WHEN MY HEART STOPS, RIGHT? HAHAHAHAHA I WISH MY HEART WOULD STOP JUST CUT IT OUT JUST STOP STOP STOP STOP BEATING, STOP PUMPING BLOOD, STOP EVERYTHING

That’s not true at all Do you think I’m the type of person to lie? I went through this and I know how bad it hurts. How bad it can feel. You are worth it. If I made it out, then so can you. I may have a few battle scars, but I believe in you. Talk to someone if you need. Call the ******* Hotline if you need. We sre here to help you because we love you, and that is no lie.

 

[taesshlong]

Spoiler: rant. triggering ed, sh, *******, caps, idk

I WANT TO FUCKING DIE DIE DIE DIE IDONT EVEN FUCKING CARE ANYMORE JUST FUCKING KILL ME KILL ME TAKE MY LIFE AND THROW IT IN A DUMPSTER I DONT CARE IM JUST SICK AND TIRED OF BEING HERE NO ONE LOVES ME, NO ONE CARES, NO.ONE. I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY, I KNOW YOU'RE LYING TO MY JUST ADMIT YOU HATE ME AND LET ME DIE. IM DONE NOT EATING. I'M DONE SLITTING MY WRISTS, MY THIGHS, MY ANKLES, MY CALVES, MY EVERYTHING. I'M JUST FUCKING DONE. BUT HEY IT'LL BE ALL BETTER WHEN MY HEART STOPS, RIGHT? HAHAHAHAHA I WISH MY HEART WOULD STOP JUST CUT IT OUT JUST STOP STOP STOP STOP BEATING, STOP PUMPING BLOOD, STOP EVERYTHING

tw, response i'm too lazy to censor
fuck, i don't know what to do. please. please, i don't want you gone. i hardly know you, just please. i have tons of resources, hotlines, everything. i have a whole list, like *******, lgbtq, self harm, eating disorder, abuse, etc.. just please please try to stay safe please. i don't want another one. i don't want to miss anyone. i don't want to cry another birthday, i don't want your friends, family, everyone who ever knew you to feel guilty.
i know, please trust me, i know exactly what you're going through. it's been almost 4 years. 4 years of me not eating, me sleeping too much, me thinking "god, everyone hates me."
i attempted 5 times, and i'm either so fucking upset that i'm still alive or i'm okay with it. living is the hardest thing anyone can do. you just living for a day is so hard. you're strong. you are, i promise you. if you could get through all the past struggles, you can get through these too. you matter. i know how hard it is to believe it, but i swear. you're here for a reason. please. i will give you everything i can, just for you to stay safe. that's how much i care. cause i've been the exact same road you're going through, hell, i'm still going through it and it sucks ass. it really does. but it'll get better. it will. and i know everyone says that, but it takes time. it takes so much time, and it takes so much strength but i know you can do it.

 

[Lucifer]

Anonymous Post: how terrible the school system has gotten. but no one except for us talks about it. grades, grades, grades, no sleep, stress, crying, grades, and on and on. for no reason. it has messed up my life. and i get told im a snowflake for pointing out problems that have been going on forever. they. dont. give. a. shit. about. us. it's to keep their money and job. i can't keep up anymore, and i feel so much more free when i'm falling behind because i know i'm already failing and i can't do anythiing about it. so i feel free. just a thought though

Same With Me my mom only wants me to get good grades like I mean life is not about school you gotta live life too not overwork do it at your own pace and not get stress like me stress no sleep just try to better yourself "At least take a small challenge if you can do it or not" - Lucifer Just Don't Overwork ok
From A Stress Student,
Lucifer <3

 

[Lucifer]

Anonymous Reply:
TW: self harm
i have been struggling to lose weight for months now, at least since July of this year. i don't know if i have really really bad genetics or whatever it is but i have only lost 5 pounds this whole time, and even after making such small progress i'm still so mad at myself and my body.
to give you guys an idea of how much i weigh and my height, i am 4'11 tall (149 cm) and i currently weight around 113-115 pounds. i've been skipping breakfast, only drinking water throughout the day, and eating really small portions at dinner or just skipping dinner altogether most of the time. sometimes i get really bad headaches and stomach pains so i can't help but sneak a little bit of food sometimes, and every time i do i feel horrible. throughout the whole day i'm either in school or im exercising alone for hours upon hours. dancing, jumping jacks, you name it.
My mom is really caring and she always wants to make sure i'm fed and i'm okay and since i'm at my grandparent's house most of the day i usually eat dinner over there. so, to get out of eating and trying to keep up with my horrible habit, i will tell my grandma that i will eat back at my house, and when i get home i will tell my mom that i ate over at my grandparent's house to get out of eating all together. i feel horrible about lying to my own family about my health for my own self gain but it makes me satisfied when i think about how skinny i might be in the future.
i'm so tired of being chubby. i'm thinking about getting into more dengerous habbits like heavily restricting what i eat and maybe have an eating schedule. i know that it would be devastating to my mental and physical health, but i still find comfort in that idea of being skinny. the most horrible part is that i'm only 13 (with my age you probably know who i am by now) and i'm afraid this might ruin my entire life.

Ok start eating do not skip meals your still young it im doing the same too but you know do exercise instead of torturing yourself with not eating btw I fat too so I understand hugs from California *hugs*
From A Stress Student,
Lucifer <3

 

[Lucifer]

Hmm...my mind has gotta be in bad healthy state maybe my mom pressuring me to do great in school not good great...I jsu tell myself Keep yourself alive...and trying to lose weight and skipping meals...just so many things in my life are wrong
From A Stress Boy,
Lucifer <3

 

[pika_chuu]

Hmm...my mind has gotta be in bad healthy state maybe my mom pressuring me to do great in school not good great...I jsu tell myself Keep yourself alive...and trying to lose weight and skipping meals...just so many things in my life are wrong
From A Stress Boy,
Lucifer <3

We love you luci Talk to us if you need!!

 

[Lucifer]

We love you luci❤❤❤ Talk to us if you need!!

Thanks *hugs*

 

[pika_chuu]

Thanks *hugs*

besties?

 

[Lucifer]

besties?

Yea!