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LostInTheDream

🧚IᑎᗩᑕTIᐯE🧚
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TW/ED
I am on the precipice of relapsing. Like one step and I'll be off the cliff free falling.
Part of me just wants to do it and start restricting more than I am now. But then the other side is like "stfu Tara, you're an adult. get control of yourself".
 

renspace

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✦ Ian & Lori ✦
✧ Simon Riley ✧
✧ Captain Price ✧
I know this isn't google but how does one recover from betrayal trauma. Asking for a friend obviously. 😊
 

LostInTheDream

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I hate December with such a burning passion.
Especially this year
I feel like crying for the first 2-3 weeks of the month.
I'm just sitting here rn with the feeling of needing to cry but I'm not gonna.
I shouldn't give that monster my tears.
But I miss everything. The angels, the protectors, my childhood, my haven.
And I get reminded every day driving past it. It's the worst kind of torture.
I want to remember them, but it just hurts to much during December.
I pray that nothing like this happens to any of you.
I mean there's a 99.999999% chance that it won't happen just cause of the circumstances.
But nobody should have to live through something like this, especially at such a young age.
Sometimes I still feel the numbness I did on that day.
And the actual day is gonna be hell. They're gonna come back and terrorize us.
I'll turn on the TV and oh there we are.
It should be remembered. People can't forget, but somehow it has been.
But I know this year it won't. And I don't know if I love that or hate that.
*I know this is incredibly vague and confusing but I can't reveal details. If you know you know*
 

LostInTheDream

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I hate December with such a burning passion.
Especially this year
I feel like crying for the first 2-3 weeks of the month.
I'm just sitting here rn with the feeling of needing to cry but I'm not gonna.
I shouldn't give that monster my tears.
But I miss everything. The angels, the protectors, my childhood, my haven.
And I get reminded every day driving past it. It's the worst kind of torture.
I want to remember them, but it just hurts to much during December.
I pray that nothing like this happens to any of you.
I mean there's a 99.999999% chance that it won't happen just cause of the circumstances.
But nobody should have to live through something like this, especially at such a young age.
Sometimes I still feel the numbness I did on that day.
And the actual day is gonna be hell. They're gonna come back and terrorize us.
I'll turn on the TV and oh there we are.
It should be remembered. People can't forget, but somehow it has been.
But I know this year it won't. And I don't know if I love that or hate that.
*I know this is incredibly vague and confusing but I can't reveal details. If you know you know*
I can't tell if I'm just sad because of this or I'm having a depressive episode...
 
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So umm....
Every once in a while, in one of my classes, I start to get this really weird feeling. I know I have felt this feeling before, but just not this "severe"
But I'll just be sitting there and then all the sudden I feel like I want to puke, cry, maybe even scream. I shake, and my breathing gets... quicker? My stomach also gets the kind of butterflies I usually get when I'm nervous. And it's not like I'm about to stand up in class and present something. I just sitting there in class. I don't know what is happening.......
And I feel like I can't ask my mom because she would probably give me a false answer, I can't ask my dad because he would use his AnGrY tone on me (because for some reason I'm not allowed to have anything related to a mental problem) and I can't tell my bestie because I know her problems are so much worse and I still haven't been able to find a way to comfort her... and I can't tell a counselor/teacher because that is embarrassing and I can't talk about my problems irl without crying.
... oh wait I just realized I'm writing this on a school laptop--
But I just wanted to say this on here because I am more comfortable speaking with people online, and I just wanna figure out what is happening to me-
and as I am writing this, the feeling is coming back. But without the shaking and wanted to cry/scream... I do wanna puke though 🥰

idk if this is the right place to post this kinda stuff but... I guess we'll see- 🤭
 
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dow

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So umm....
Every once in a while, in one of my classes, I start to get this really weird feeling. I know I have felt this feeling before, but just not this "severe"
But I'll just be sitting there and then all the sudden I feel like I want to puke, cry, maybe even scream. I shake, and my breathing gets... quicker? My stomach also gets the kind of butterflies I usually get when I'm nervous. And it's not like I'm about to stand up in class and present something. I just sitting there in class. I don't know what is happening.......
And I feel like I can't ask my mom because she would probably give me a false answer, I can't ask my dad because he would use his AnGrY tone on me (because for some reason I'm not allowed to have anything related to a mental problem) and I can't tell my bestie because I know her problems are so much worse and I still haven't been able to find a way to comfort her... and I can't tell a counselor/teacher because that is embarrassing and I can't talk about my problems irl without crying.
... oh wait I just realized I'm writing this on a school laptop--
But I just wanted to say this on here because I am more comfortable speaking with people online, and I just wanna figure out what is happening to me-
and as I am writing this, the feeling is coming back. But without the shaking and wanted to cry/scream... I do wanna puke though 🥰

idk if this is the right place to post this kinda stuff but... I guess we'll see- 🤭
I feel you. I think it’s just the extreme anxiety that we tend to experience and we can’t help but experience those kinds of symptoms that goes along with it.
Same, I can’t talk to my parents about my problems or ask them any questions relating to it otherwise they wouldn’t give us the answers and the reaction that we want or expect them to - which makes us feel invalidated by them.
All I can say is, just hang in there and it’ll be fine. ❤️
 

yvessznʚଓ

夜神月 . . 📓🎲
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Hungry Bear
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I feel like nothing. Like I cannot do anything right. Why cant ppl be happy with the way i am. I know i am not smart and not good enough but can you at least appreciate the way i work hard?
I want you to see my efforts instead of getting mad at what i cant do.

tw sh

i'm back to hurting myself again. I hate the state i'm in.
 

1fool4you

left.
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youre just gonna leave me huh.
weve been friends since 2nd grade. and over one single summer you decide to just...stop it? stop the whole bond we had?
i laughed with you. i cried with you. i told you all my secrets i wouldnt even tell my parents. most of all i loved you. then you just leave me, for a bunch of prissy popular girls who dress in extremely short clothes and constantly gossip abt others.
and the worst part is, you blame me for this. you blame me for breaking our friendship. well, im sorry if i felt uncomfortable around your "friends."
ykw, i shouldve expected this. i knew everything about you. your favorite food, your mental issues, your secrets that i swore to never tell anyone.
you couldnt even remember my birthday. or how old i am.
fuck you. im better without you.
 

Call_MeRover

𝕮𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖒𝖊 𝕽𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗.(𝕹𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖓𝖆𝖒𝖊)
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𝕮𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖊𝖔𝖌𝖗𝖆𝖕𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝕶𝖆𝖎(𝕰𝖃
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#TWICE
Choco-Cream Ice Cream
Christmas Lollipop
i feel so left out of everything.
its ok, no one needs me anyways
im not important 😋

Yes, you are! I know how you feel.
i can be your friend, if you'd like?(I need a friend hehe)
 
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