❥--[Mental Health Support Space]

[1fool4you]

tw bullying

bullying sucks ass.

now i know what it feels like. heh, i always told myself when i was younger "youre never gonna get bullied." look at me now. i feel awful. getting constantly made fun of, being laughed at.
all theyre doing is calling me "gay" and "lesbian" even though im not. i tell them im not. i tell them to stop. they dont listen.
im so stupid. why am i crying on the floor, having a whole mental breakdown over something so stupid? its not gonna matter later, yet i feel like its my fault theyre doing this to me.
i wanna tell someone (irl). to let them knwo whats happening. but i cant. if i tell my parents, theyre gonna get mad at me for not telling them sooner and how they have too much to handle rn. if i tell a counselor, theyre gonna tell my parents, and repeat the cycle.
its hopeless. what can i do. i feel so empty. please...help me...

 

[˗ˏˋ꒰ ruista ꒱ˎˊ-]

Spoiler: I feel like this should have a trigger warning... but idk-

So umm....
Every once in a while, in one of my classes, I start to get this really weird feeling. I know I have felt this feeling before, but just not this "severe"
But I'll just be sitting there and then all the sudden I feel like I want to puke, cry, maybe even scream. I shake, and my breathing gets... quicker? My stomach also gets the kind of butterflies I usually get when I'm nervous. And it's not like I'm about to stand up in class and present something. I just sitting there in class. I don't know what is happening.......
And I feel like I can't ask my mom because she would probably give me a false answer, I can't ask my dad because he would use his AnGrY tone on me (because for some reason I'm not allowed to have anything related to a mental problem) and I can't tell my bestie because I know her problems are so much worse and I still haven't been able to find a way to comfort her... and I can't tell a counselor/teacher because that is embarrassing and I can't talk about my problems irl without crying.
... oh wait I just realized I'm writing this on a school laptop--
But I just wanted to say this on here because I am more comfortable speaking with people online, and I just wanna figure out what is happening to me-
and as I am writing this, the feeling is coming back. But without the shaking and wanted to cry/scream... I do wanna puke though

idk if this is the right place to post this kinda stuff but... I guess we'll see-

alright well... update I guess : T

So just a few minutes ago I was sitting at the dinner table, about to be finished with my dinner. Then my mom asked me about school, then she asked me if I was feeling alright, then I started crying..... I CRIED AT THE DINNER TABLE! that is so embarrassing :, ) So then I just walked out of the kitchen into my room (don't worry, I did clean up after myself!)
But before she started asking me, I was starting to feel shaky and like I was going to throw up, JUST like how I feel when I'm in second period! And that was all because I was thinking about going to that class tomorrow! Luckily my mom is nice and understanding, so she is not making me go to that class tomorrow. BUT, my dad is not, so I will probably have to go to that class when I go to my dads.... I am going to explode-

But, why am I crying so much lately, I don't usually cry EVER! Especially not around my siblings!! That is a big no no for me-
so uhhh... what do i do? ‍

 

[˗ˏˋ꒰ ruista ꒱ˎˊ-]

tw bullying

bullying sucks ass.

now i know what it feels like. heh, i always told myself when i was younger "youre never gonna get bullied." look at me now. i feel awful. getting constantly made fun of, being laughed at.
all theyre doing is calling me "gay" and "lesbian" even though im not. i tell them im not. i tell them to stop. they dont listen.

I wish I could say something to help!!
But I did have to deal with bullying, but it was only a few times. I found a way to fight back, and I believe you can too!
Honestly I would probably just call them gay too, because if you're not gay, and they wanna keep calling you that.... they might as well just be as gay as you!
If I were there, I WOULD BEAT THEM UP FOR YOU!!!
now just tell me where they live : )

 

[chaerifyyy]

why is everyone around me so perfect except me?
why am I the only one who ends up being invisible to everyone as if I don’t exist?
why am I the only one who ends up embarrassing myself?
why do I feel as if everyone hates me?

 

[yvessznʚଓ]

i hate seeing my friends get along with other ppl better than we do
and find them so much funnier than me
i know this is so selfish but i just want to be the funny one, the one who gets along with everyone, the one who can comfort and talk with them.
i realize maybe its me. maybe its me who is a bad friend. maybe i need to put effort. but i always put effort into my friendships. why cant i have ppl stick with me why cant i be the one they come to when they just wanna talk ? not even thought abt until i say smth but then it becomes such a big deal that i didnt ask for and then i hide and leave again. why cant i get it together ???

 

[Kbananas]

I see many of you guys share my struggle. I have been dealing with anxiety and depression symptoms all my life.
I tried medication, therapy, and many other things to no avail.

I am doing much better now and incredibly is all due to a dietary change. over a year ago I started a ketogenic diet (for weight loss mostly) I managed to lose weight but was also very surprised how my other symptoms went away as well. I have been off medication for 8 months now. My life is not perfect but my well-being has proved quite a bit. There is actually a scientific basis for this:

https://anxietysocialnet.com/ketogenic-diet-for-mental-health-anxiety/

Other things that helped me a lot are aerobic exercise, cold exposure, and meditation.

I just wanted to share this here because I wish I knew these things before.
please stay strong, things can improve quite fast. Don't hesitate to go to therapy if you need to talk to someone.

Love

 

[dow]

alright well... update I guess : T

So just a few minutes ago I was sitting at the dinner table, about to be finished with my dinner. Then my mom asked me about school, then she asked me if I was feeling alright, then I started crying..... I CRIED AT THE DINNER TABLE! that is so embarrassing :, ) So then I just walked out of the kitchen into my room (don't worry, I did clean up after myself!)
But before she started asking me, I was starting to feel shaky and like I was going to throw up, JUST like how I feel when I'm in second period! And that was all because I was thinking about going to that class tomorrow! Luckily my mom is nice and understanding, so she is not making me go to that class tomorrow. BUT, my dad is not, so I will probably have to go to that class when I go to my dads.... I am going to explode-

But, why am I crying so much lately, I don't usually cry EVER! Especially not around my siblings!! That is a big no no for me-
so uhhh... what do i do? ‍

Spoiler: idk if you wanna read this but ❤️

Crying is actually a healthy mechanism to help cope with all the stress we’re having. Since our ‘emotional tears’ contain stress hormones and other toxins - crying can reduce these toxins from our body which can lead to our stress being reduced when we cry.
But I understand how you’re feeling. I came to realise a long time ago that this is pretty normal for people that are going through their stages of adolescence, but also during adulthood as well.
It’s totally okay to cry, and crying is not a bad thing at all! And as you may not know already, crying is NOT a sign of weakness - it is actually a way to express how you’re actually feeling.
Whatever you’re going through, please hang in there and I’m sure it’ll get better.

 

[Kbananas]

tw bullying

bullying sucks ass.

now i know what it feels like. heh, i always told myself when i was younger "youre never gonna get bullied." look at me now. i feel awful. getting constantly made fun of, being laughed at.
all theyre doing is calling me "gay" and "lesbian" even though im not. i tell them im not. i tell them to stop. they dont listen.
im so stupid. why am i crying on the floor, having a whole mental breakdown over something so stupid? its not gonna matter later, yet i feel like its my fault theyre doing this to me.
i wanna tell someone (irl). to let them knwo whats happening. but i cant. if i tell my parents, theyre gonna get mad at me for not telling them sooner and how they have too much to handle rn. if i tell a counselor, theyre gonna tell my parents, and repeat the cycle.
its hopeless. what can i do. i feel so empty. please...help me...

I can relate, all I can say is that bullies feed from your insecurities and love praying on the weak. The more weaknesses you show the more they will push. So if they say you are a lesbian just smile and say: " maybe I am, what is it you? seems you guys are way too preoccupied with others' sexual preferences. I am sorry you feel insecure about your sexuality". Then just disengage and change location if you can.

Don't feed the bullies, show them resolve and they will move away.

 

[LostInTheDream]

Tw/emetophobia, panic attacks
Recently I had to fly across the country 2 times within a span of 3 days for a family emergencyI absolutely hate flying. Not because of a fear of heights or irritation at delays. I have emetophobia which is the fear of someone or myself throwing up. It’s caused by a traumatic event that occurred when I was 4 or 5. So anything involving motion sickness (aka planes) are a no go for me. So whenever I have to fly I get immensely anxious. What makes it worse is that when I’m anxious I get nauseous. So I’m psyching myself into thinking I’m gonna be sick and the cycle continues.
So on the flight last night it was delayed a total of 3 hours, already not good for my anxiety.
we get on the plane and the captain says that there’s gonna be a lot of turbulence due to the weather. This was mostly okay for me until we were landing and the turbulence was the worst. So I got incredibly anxious that I would be sick, and virtually everyone around me would too. As we landed I gripped onto both armrests, eyes shut, biting my inner cheeks, and with several sticks of gum in my mouth. Finally we landed and then boom panic attack. All the anxiety of that flight exploded then and there. It sucked. Especially cause only my little brother was with me and he isn’t someone I feel comfortable seeking help from.
So yeah yesterday sucked big time. I don’t wanna fly ever again. But I know probably in a couple months I’ll have to again because of this same family emergency.

Separate rant: stop calling a fear of something a phobia. A phobia is a diagnosed anxiety disorder that affects every moment of a persons life. It’s not seeing a scary spider and screaming/running away. I’m sick of people linking the two because it makes me feel like something I struggle with immensely doesn’t matter. I won’t say more because I don’t want to cause drama.

 

[Kbananas]

I'm sorry to hear about your experience on the flight and your struggle with emetophobia.

It's important to remember that it's okay to have fears and to seek help when you need it. It takes a lot of courage to confront your fears, especially when they are related to a traumatic experience.

As for your comment about phobias, it's true that phobia is a diagnosed anxiety disorder that can significantly impact a person's daily life. However, it's also common for people to use the term "phobia" to refer to any strong fear or aversion, even if it doesn't meet the technical definition of a phobia. I understand that this can be frustrating and invalidating, but it's important to remember that people may not always be aware of the technical definitions of terms and may simply be using language that they feel accurately describes their experience.

I totally get where you are coming from as I encountered this type of comment as well and also hate it.

I hope things improve for you! Hugs!

 

[tbz]

(I’m an existing member but I don’t want to say this on my main account)

I am a social perfectionist. I don’t know when this started but I realized at the start of this school year. When I meet someone, I usually think they’re fine, we get along well. At some point, some type of switch in me is flipped and I’m suddenly hyper aware of every single thing they do that could potentially show that they aren’t a completely angelic person. I hate it.
I’ve always been a lonelier person, I didn’t really have a lot of friends in my old school. It only became worse this year at my new school. I have many decent connections and relationships but in every person I see things wrong that I just can’t get past. It can be as simple as saying something hypocritical about someone else. This person is just automatically viewed as someone bad that I’m unable to get close to. Even people that I used to think were perfect as friends have now changed. I want to change this. I wish to be stupid and oblivious as I once was. No matter how much I research about this, I can never find a way to rid of it or even make it a little better.
I’m lonely. There is no one that can actually understand me that I can trust. I’m alone. I have no one to rely on. Everyday is just an endless cycle of going to school, doing homework, trying to be nice to everyone around me, and repeat. Is there even a purpose? I know I sound like a brat. I was born and raised as a privileged person with everything handed to me. I hate this. I hate myself for this. I want to live up to my own unreachable standards.
Is that why I’ve recently been obsessed with the forums? Because I finally found people to talk to? I crave attention and validation. Whenever someone doesn’t respond to me when they usually would or they aren’t with me at a specific time they usually are, I panic. I feel like this person is going to drop me and I’ll be alone again. I want to like being alone. But I can’t. I dislike being alone and I have unreachable standards for friends. What type of person would want to interact with me? This is my fault, not anyone else’s. I don’t need a therapist, I need myself to be either suck it up and be lonely or lower my expectations. Everything, all of this, are just consequences of my own actions.
I feel useless. I haven’t been studying properly. I have a B+ average in science. I’m failing. How am I ever going to get anywhere like this. I’m not being harsh, this is reality. I’m letting everyone around me down. I’m afraid that I one day will just end everything. But im too cowardly to do that too.

this is useless and messy and probably no one will see it. It was nice to get everything out.

 

[˗ˏˋ꒰ ruista ꒱ˎˊ-]

Spoiler: Just a random thought for today

I felt this same exact way last time this happened... but this time it was someone I was a lot closer to, so I am a little confused-
a few months ago my step moms grandpa died, I felt the same way as I do now... but I was not close with him at all, and I am so much closer with this person
Today my great grandma died, I don't feel as emotional as I think I should feel. I thought I would be at least crying for like ten minutes...
But yeah... nothing
Maybe at her funeral I will cry... I hope not : (
I have only had 2 people I was close with die so far, I cried so much when my first great grandma died. I went to her house every day with my grandma, so of course we were close! My dad wasn't really phased though because they weren't close
But now my other great grandma has passed away and she was like my moms mom. I am scared for her, and honestly I feel like I will be more sad for her than for myself. Usually I would cry because I miss them, but I feel like I want to cry because my mom is going to miss her!
Right now all I can think about is memories I have had with her, and how she always called me pretty and wanted to give me a kiss. And that one time she gave me and my little sister skirts and watched us dance in them. She lived in Florida most of my life so I wasn't very close with her, but I feel like this is gonna hit hard as time goes on...

 

[sanasideup]

i try so hard to be good, but at the end of the day i'm still bad.

 

[yvessznʚଓ]

if i just laugh at my pain maybe it'll go away
i just keep hurting the people i care about. i dont even know who's joking anymore haha.

 

[tbz]

I'm not ready for school tomorrow. Not mentally ready I mean. I already know most things they teach and would probably be much smarter if I was homeschooled, considering that my dad is harvard level smart and he works from home. I don't miss my "friends". I have no one to talk to, no one to rely on. I've been told to get therapy by some people when I accidentally spilled some of this. I feel so alone. Tomorrow will mark the start of another day of being alone, with no freedom. I worry about my future. My grades are not perfect, not as good as they could be. I need to just study, take a break from everyone/everything around me but I can't. I'm holding on to these people that barely even know me. Will it ever end? This endless spiral. I'm all alone in this world.

I'm writing in circles, I'm sorry to anyone who had to read this. I just need to hold on until the next bunch of students, new talent enter the school. I'm still not sure if I will meet anyone. Wait until college? That is years away. I want to hold on. I want to be strong. Can I? I want to pray to the unknown and the divine above. Tomorrow I'll just wear that same old mask and pretend im happy.

 

[1fool4you]

tw abuse

my parents are really abusive. and new years eve made me realize it.

my parents were mad at my little brother for eating slowly. note that he is 5, and its normal for little kids to be picky. instead of helping him eat it, my parents beat the crap out of him. slapping, kicking, using hangers and blind wands until they broke. it hurt for me and my sister to watch.
when he finished, idk why but they gave him more food. and obviously, when you eat too much, you throw up. the beatings happened again. and they forced me and my sister to clean it up, and clean the whole entire floors as well. so we were basically forced to clean on new years eve while they just played on their phones while calling us "idiots" and "spoiled brats". so instead of shouting happy new year with a smile on my face, i cried in the bathroom.
i still love them, cause theyre my parents and all, but sometimes they make me sick.

 

[saaylhy]

the problem with the ppl in my school is that there's not a single person that cares abt mental health

 

[yawnzzn]

Spoiler: I am heartbroken I cannot help it

I've literally been talking about this all morning but this is such a big stepping stone in my life right now. At first it felt like a coming of age movie plotline. Still does, just even more sad. Feel like I'm in a crying montage but I have to hold it in because I am at school. I've been an emotional rollercoaster all morning, when I get home I'll just cry it out. I don't have much to do now. I can't focus on anything I have so much work to catch up on today. I can't do it tomorrow or the day after that I have to do it today. This was probably bad timing but there's no time better than to be broken up with during the start of your favorite season. It's always fall, idk why. I love the fall but none of my exes thought fall was a good time to be in a relationship I guess. I don't mind I don't blame them. It was the right choice we're just too busy in different stages of life right now. It just sucks that it had to come to an end. Wish there was a way for it to work but life is life. They'll move on, I'll move on. We'll both date new people and end up with completely different people. I can't imagine dating anyone else right now but it could happen eventually. Right person, wrong time. I'll meet someone new. The right person at the absolute right time. I don't really care about moving on or dating anyone new I just want this pain to go away. I want to hard work, pass my classes, enjoy my fall, and get my dancing degree. I just want to forget about this pain already I do not have time to even mope around like I want to. I'll have to pick myself up and work even harder. Not for the two of us, for me this time.I refuse to fail.

Spoiler: i am a mess but i'm an attractive one/j

guess who just cried?? me! i was doing fine, getting over it. then i just got hit with emotion. i feel rejected, disregarded, and let down. i feel like it'll be very hard to trust again. i rushed in to fall in love so deeply so quick. i ruined my whole life in a span of a year and it all amounted to nothing. now all i don't really have anything left. i wasted so much time on them. spent my entire 10th grade year on them. now i had to redo this semester. then we broke up. then that's when my grades for this semester fell hard. idk if i'll have to redo the entire year or not. i was just regaining my confidence but now i just feel so small. i planned my entire life with this person. it's so ridiculous to think that i was really ready to settle down with someone at the age of 16 but i really was ready to give them my entire life. i wanted to grew old and have a family with them. i had so many hopes and dreams and now it feels like it's all be taken away from me. idek why i thought anything different would happen. of course we'd break up. it was so obvious. this is the last time i am crying over this. i am probably just really dramatic and emotional because i'm on my period. i want nothing to do with them anymore. i want to move on and be happy. even if it's without them idc i want to get rid of this, whatever it is, that's making me think of them all the time. i have to re-plan everything. before them i was just okay with whatever life threw at me. when i met them i had a purpose, i had motivation to care about my life. now i am just running on the thought that i want to prove to myself that i can do just fine without them. i'll find what makes me the happiest, i'll do it. i'll forget about them and be happy. when i do, i'll met a pretty girl. i'll learn confidence and self love. real self love. i'll probably leave every forum i'm on. i don't even miss them or anything. i just want clarity and closure and i feel like i can never get it because they just cut all contact with me even tho it was their idea to stay friends. what upsets me even more about all of this is that they probably won't even wish me a happy birthday, they probably forgot it. i was really looking forward to being their friend. i really wanted that birthday wish. i've never been friends with any of my exes before. i guess i never will be. i should have known anyone who says "we can still be friends" is lying and trying to make themselves feel better about ruining your day. it doesn't help. just gives me an ick when i think about them now. how could i be so dumb? i don't trust ppl who will sit there and lie to my face, never have. i don't even want to be their friend. i probably would've cut them off if we were friends anyway. in some way, i think i wanted to be the one to do it. that power was taken away from me and now i feel powerless. what a sick way of thinking. how could i even think that way? it's now about who has power over the other. i used to hope they were happy after we broke up. but now i don't think that. i don't care how they feel. i've gained this habit of keeping their best interest at heart. and i am trying to break out of that habit. i don't care what they want, think or feel. that's what i am trying to tell myself to train myself to stop thinking about what they want/think/feel. i do not care. it doesn't affect me and they are a stranger now. idk maybe my thinking is toxic. i just want this grieving stuff to be over with, i want to get out and start dating again. i am tired of being stuck on them all the time. it gets boring

 

[yunaing]

This isn’t really like mental health but I just need a moment I’m at a party rn and like I’m just not doing good I feel extremely overwhelmed there’s so much noise there’s so many people everyone is so loud my friends are so loud and I find it so hard to talk to them in normal conditions let alone in this noise. I’ve had alcohol and I ate cake (bad mistake) now I just feel sick my heart is racing I feel hot in my face my mum left and I told her I didn’t want to leave because I want to be with my friends but it’s just so hard I always feel so anxious at parties like these. I’m literally hiding in the bathroom rn but I can hear my friends doing karaoke from the other end of the bar coz they’re just that loud

 

[yunaing]

I feel like my mum doesn't like me. She's never been absolutely horrible to me. But I just get the vibes from her that she isn't keen on me.
She never really wants to spend time with me. She says I'm the one who doesn't want to spend time with her, but I find that she's the one who never wants to continue activities we start together, like watching shows. She doesn't like it when we cook in the kitchen together (it is really small) so we never eat our dinner together. She doesn't care about any of my interests. If you asked her who my favourite group is, she wouldn't be able to tell you. She wouldn't be able to tell you the names of any of my favourite songs. The only reason she'd recognise any of them is because I sing them a lot. She finds my singing annoying though. She finds my interests annoying hence why I don't tell her about them anymore. When I talk to her she often looks annoyed and like she wants me to shut up. She also never misses an opportunity to insult me. Such as today, when I asked her if we didn't have any lettuce coz it wasn't in its ordinary spot. She first told me it's "on another shelf" which is a fine statement yeah? That's telling me where it is, before continuing with "can't you just look with your eyes for once" aka implying I'm stupid. Is it wrong for me to feel like I shouldn't be spoken to in that way? Maybe I didn't look hard enough but it wasn't where it usually was so I feel like it wasn't my fault I didn't look somewhere else. I always flinch when I hear her walking around outside my room because I always get scared she'll come bursting into my room because I've done something else wrong in her eyes. I often feel like an annoyance to the people around me. Not likeable or forgettable. And I feel like perhaps these feelings come from her. Because I've always been a problem to her. I'm just annoying, talk too quickly, don't speak loud enough, cringy, someone to laugh at, someone who they won't invite places. I feel like she's taken away every part of who I actually am. That's why I want to move away so much