I can understand the public school issue, as I mentioned before, my image of schools is ruined by public school. Too bad it was the first school I attended. Btw, idk how it is where you are from but my only friend from school gave birth 1 month ago - she's 15
i'm from france. but even if it's not the same school system as america, they don't give us mental health support- but like, there's a psychologist in every school. but you don't get help, you should go to see them to get help. and we all know that it's difficult to talk about theses things... until you do something dumb, and they're all like "why didn't you go to the school psychologist? why didn't you tell us what was happening?" etc
i'm from france. but even if it's not the same school system as america, they don't give us mental health support- but like, there's a psychologist in every school. but you don't get help, you should go to see them to get help. and we all know that it's difficult to talk about theses things... until you do something dumb, and they're all like "why didn't you go to the school psychologist? why didn't you tell us what was happening?" etc
I’m currently in Vancouver. I’m on a road trip and the car we rented was broken into. The rear window was smashed and broken glass covers the floor and backseat.
The Full Story
tw: drinking/drunk people, homeless people, drugs, marijuana, that kind of stuff.
Yesterday, we were walking around exploring the city. We turned onto another street and it was completely run down. I mean graffiti all over the place and needles and cigarettes littered the ground. We continued walking and saw many homeless people vaping, smoking, and doing drugs. At the end of the street there was a whole group of people, I mean around twenty people doing drugs, drinking, smoking, vaping, etc. and there was a police car with its lights still flashing parked right next to them with multiple officers surrounding.
(I have never seen anything like that)
We turned around and saw multiple people using drugs, vaping, drinking, and smoking but they were all individuals or duos so we thought it was fine.
(We also went to one of the "safe" streets where there are luxury stores, etc. but there was the smell of marijuana.)
I thought that was the end of it. We went home and we continued doing what we normally do.
(the streets can change so much, its like heaven and hell)
(new information)
I didn't know that earlier when we checked into the hotel, my parents were talking to the people at the front desk and they wanted to park nearby at a parking lot across the street. The girl at the desk said it wasn't safe there and people might break into the car but my parents and my uncle thought it was okay (spoiler alert: it wasn't) I never knew this and this morning when we arrived there, it looked pretty run down.
(back to the story)
This morning we were planning on going and driving to a place where we could get 点心 (diǎnxīn, dim sum). When we arrived at the parking lot, the whole place smelled like urine. I thought it was okay because parking lots smell weird and this one looked weird as well. When we finally got to the car, I saw a huge hole in the rear window. Glass stuck out of it and the car smelled like urine. When we opened the car, we saw that there was broken glass inside the trunk, all over the backseat, and on the floor. The police were called (they didn't want to come). And insurance was called too. I think everything is okay.
We're staying in Vancouver for another day only. Then we're going to Seattle. My parents are planning on going to Seattle to fix the car because we're staying there for a week. Nothing valuable was stolen inside the car because my mom keeps all of the passports, IDs, etc. inside a bag she has on her all the time. (we haven't checked everything, but nothing else is particularly valuable) Overall it was pretty good in comparison to what could've happened. We think it was some drunk people/teenagers who came and smashed the window during the night.
I think this is one of the most traumatic things that has ever happened to me.
Some may say I'm being dramatic and I think I am but I have had a really safe life in a safe place where the crime rate is literally a zero. So, you could say I'm fairly sheltered.
I’m currently in Vancouver. I’m on a road trip and the car we rented was broken into. The rear window was smashed and broken glass covers the floor and backseat.
The Full Story
tw: drinking/drunk people, homeless people, drugs, marijuana, that kind of stuff.
Yesterday, we were walking around exploring the city. We turned onto another street and it was completely run down. I mean graffiti all over the place and needles and cigarettes littered the ground. We continued walking and saw many homeless people vaping, smoking, and doing drugs. At the end of the street there was a whole group of people, I mean around twenty people doing drugs, drinking, smoking, vaping, etc. and there was a police car with its lights still flashing parked right next to them with multiple officers surrounding.
(I have never seen anything like that)
We turned around and saw multiple people using drugs, vaping, drinking, and smoking but they were all individuals or duos so we thought it was fine.
(We also went to one of the "safe" streets where there are luxury stores, etc. but there was the smell of marijuana.)
I thought that was the end of it. We went home and we continued doing what we normally do.
(the streets can change so much, its like heaven and hell)
(new information)
I didn't know that earlier when we checked into the hotel, my parents were talking to the people at the front desk and they wanted to park nearby at a parking lot across the street. The girl at the desk said it wasn't safe there and people might break into the car but my parents and my uncle thought it was okay (spoiler alert: it wasn't) I never knew this and this morning when we arrived there, it looked pretty run down.
(back to the story)
This morning we were planning on going and driving to a place where we could get 点心 (diǎnxīn, dim sum). When we arrived at the parking lot, the whole place smelled like urine. I thought it was okay because parking lots smell weird and this one looked weird as well. When we finally got to the car, I saw a huge hole in the rear window. Glass stuck out of it and the car smelled like urine. When we opened the car, we saw that there was broken glass inside the trunk, all over the backseat, and on the floor. The police were called (they didn't want to come). And insurance was called too. I think everything is okay.
We're staying in Vancouver for another day only. Then we're going to Seattle. My parents are planning on going to Seattle to fix the car because we're staying there for a week. Nothing valuable was stolen inside the car because my mom keeps all of the passports, IDs, etc. inside a bag she has on her all the time. (we haven't checked everything, but nothing else is particularly valuable) Overall it was pretty good in comparison to what could've happened. We think it was some drunk people/teenagers who came and smashed the window during the night. This is far worse than having seen a drunk man walking on the streets in the middle of the day at Victoria.
I think this is one of the most traumatic things that has ever happened to me.
Some may say I'm being dramatic and I think I am but I have had a really safe life in a safe place where the crime rate is literally a zero. So, you could say I'm fairly sheltered.
I’m currently in Vancouver. I’m on a road trip and the car we rented was broken into. The rear window was smashed and broken glass covers the floor and backseat.
The Full Story
tw: drinking/drunk people, homeless people, drugs, marijuana, that kind of stuff.
Yesterday, we were walking around exploring the city. We turned onto another street and it was completely run down. I mean graffiti all over the place and needles and cigarettes littered the ground. We continued walking and saw many homeless people vaping, smoking, and doing drugs. At the end of the street there was a whole group of people, I mean around twenty people doing drugs, drinking, smoking, vaping, etc. and there was a police car with its lights still flashing parked right next to them with multiple officers surrounding.
(I have never seen anything like that)
We turned around and saw multiple people using drugs, vaping, drinking, and smoking but they were all individuals or duos so we thought it was fine.
(We also went to one of the "safe" streets where there are luxury stores, etc. but there was the smell of marijuana.)
I thought that was the end of it. We went home and we continued doing what we normally do.
(the streets can change so much, its like heaven and hell)
(new information)
I didn't know that earlier when we checked into the hotel, my parents were talking to the people at the front desk and they wanted to park nearby at a parking lot across the street. The girl at the desk said it wasn't safe there and people might break into the car but my parents and my uncle thought it was okay (spoiler alert: it wasn't) I never knew this and this morning when we arrived there, it looked pretty run down.
(back to the story)
This morning we were planning on going and driving to a place where we could get 点心 (diǎnxīn, dim sum). When we arrived at the parking lot, the whole place smelled like urine. I thought it was okay because parking lots smell weird and this one looked weird as well. When we finally got to the car, I saw a huge hole in the rear window. Glass stuck out of it and the car smelled like urine. When we opened the car, we saw that there was broken glass inside the trunk, all over the backseat, and on the floor. The police were called (they didn't want to come). And insurance was called too. I think everything is okay.
We're staying in Vancouver for another day only. Then we're going to Seattle. My parents are planning on going to Seattle to fix the car because we're staying there for a week. Nothing valuable was stolen inside the car because my mom keeps all of the passports, IDs, etc. inside a bag she has on her all the time. (we haven't checked everything, but nothing else is particularly valuable) Overall it was pretty good in comparison to what could've happened. We think it was some drunk people/teenagers who came and smashed the window during the night. This is far worse than having seen a drunk man walking on the streets in the middle of the day at Victoria.
I think this is one of the most traumatic things that has ever happened to me.
Some may say I'm being dramatic and I think I am but I have had a really safe life in a safe place where the crime rate is literally a zero. So, you could say I'm fairly sheltered.
Earlier that day, when we called the police, they said we needed to submit the report online because it wasn't urgent. Only after we submitted it could we get insurance to cover it. I heard my dad talking to my mom and he was really angry/frustrated. He said that they needed to do around 10 steps to submit the report and they were still stuck on number 1. At this point, I don't even know if they'll be able to submit the report much less have insurance cover it.
Money isn't really a problem in my household so I'm not sure how it will impact us.
I’ve been feeling really good mentally lately but I’m concerned. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to even feel this good. I was at the point of considering inpatient and then suddenly I’m smiling, like a switch flipped or something
I’ve been feeling really good mentally lately but I’m concerned. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to even feel this good. I was at the point of considering inpatient and then suddenly I’m smiling, like a switch flipped or something
Okay here is something I actually do want to rant about and as far as I'm concerned isn't in my head like what I posted above and removed LOL
So, I'm really not that good at controlling my emotions. (I'm only including this coz it might be relevant but there's going to be a note at the bottom regarding it) When I get happy/excited and sometimes anxious/embarassed I stim*, but when I'm upset or stressed I just cry. It's just very difficult for me to control my emotions. In fact I guess perhaps even my many rants and complaints here from anger are also just me being unable to process my feelings internally.
The thing is, my mum isn't really very good at tolerating these emotions. The hand-flapping I do when I'm excited she is fine with, she just sometimes tells me to try to control it because it might cause me wrist problems (not like I'm doing it on purpose but OKAY). However, when I cry out of frustration or fear, she becomes very condescening or even shouts at me.
Tw mentions of *******: for example one time we were discussing my social problems and she was basically telling me about how if things get worse I need to go to a doctor because she doesn't want me to kill myself once getting to Uni. Yknow fair. But she said it to me so angrily so it did make it very weird to process.
This happened a lot when I was younger, because I'd go to her for homework help, but if I didn't understand I would become frustrated and basically unconsolable, but she would shout at me for not listening and crying. I think this has made it very difficult for me to talk to her at all. I've noticed this particularly very recently due to the social issues I was having, as confessing how awful they make me feel has been difficult and almost all our conversations about it were started by her.
But also it's even minor things I'm affraid to approach or tell her about. Some extremely recent examples:
1. Recently on my period I bled onto a new set of pjs. Instead of washing them immediately to get the stain out I hid them with another load of laundry because she's always shouted at me if I have leaks for not being more responsible for my hygiene. The stain is hardly noticeable but is there. Would've probably been avoided if I didn't hide it
2. My loyal fans (/sarc) may have noticed I changed my loction from "in bed" to "I had to leave my bed". This is because my laptop has become very fagile and sometimes stops working if I knock it, so I've had to move it to my desk rather than using it in bed. I spent about an hour trying to find the strength to say this to my mum, because I knew if I tried to tell her about the fact it was breaking I would've started crying out of stress and she would've scolded me for crying. So instead I had to wait till the worst of the emotions were gone
It's not very enjoyable to live in a house where my emotions feel very invalidated. I get so affraid to tell her about anything because it feels like whenever I experience a negative emotion it's just a burden for her... She doesn't understand most of my emotions and so she just gets angry that she can't comprehend them as if it's my fault, and it's caused me to just not feel safe expressing emotions externally.
I know that stimming is associated with being neurodivergant. Stimming is the only major symptom I show though, and so there has not been enough of a reason to seek a diagnosis. It's something that could be a possibility, but I don't like saying it's likely because I genuinely don't know. I just felt it was necessary to show how perhaps I process emotions in an intense/different way, but I wanted to clarify this just in case.
Okay here is something I actually do want to rant about and as far as I'm concerned isn't in my head like what I posted above and removed LOL
So, I'm really not that good at controlling my emotions. (I'm only including this coz it might be relevant but there's going to be a note at the bottom regarding it) When I get happy/excited and sometimes anxious/embarassed I stim*, but when I'm upset or stressed I just cry. It's just very difficult for me to control my emotions. In fact I guess perhaps even my many rants and complaints here from anger are also just me being unable to process my feelings internally.
The thing is, my mum isn't really very good at tolerating these emotions. The hand-flapping I do when I'm excited she is fine with, she just sometimes tells me to try to control it because it might cause me wrist problems (not like I'm doing it on purpose but OKAY). However, when I cry out of frustration or fear, she becomes very condescening or even shouts at me.
Tw mentions of *******: for example one time we were discussing my social problems and she was basically telling me about how if things get worse I need to go to a doctor because she doesn't want me to kill myself once getting to Uni. Yknow fair. But she said it to me so angrily so it did make it very weird to process.
This happened a lot when I was younger, because I'd go to her for homework help, but if I didn't understand I would become frustrated and basically unconsolable, but she would shout at me for not listening and crying. I think this has made it very difficult for me to talk to her at all. I've noticed this particularly very recently due to the social issues I was having, as confessing how awful they make me feel has been difficult and almost all our conversations about it were started by her.
But also it's even minor things I'm affraid to approach or tell her about. Some extremely recent examples:
1. Recently on my period I bled onto a new set of pjs. Instead of washing them immediately to get the stain out I hid them with another load of laundry because she's always shouted at me if I have leaks for not being more responsible for my hygiene. The stain is hardly noticeable but is there. Would've probably been avoided if I didn't hide it
2. My loyal fans (/sarc) may have noticed I changed my loction from "in bed" to "I had to leave my bed". This is because my laptop has become very fagile and sometimes stops working if I knock it, so I've had to move it to my desk rather than using it in bed. I spent about an hour trying to find the strength to say this to my mum, because I knew if I tried to tell her about the fact it was breaking I would've started crying out of stress and she would've scolded me for crying. So instead I had to wait till the worst of the emotions were gone
It's not very enjoyable to live in a house where my emotions feel very invalidated. I get so affraid to tell her about anything because it feels like whenever I experience a negative emotion it's just a burden for her... She doesn't understand most of my emotions and so she just gets angry that she can't comprehend them as if it's my fault, and it's caused me to just not feel safe expressing emotions externally.
I know that stimming is associated with being neurodivergant. Stimming is the only major symptom I show though, and so there has not been enough of a reason to seek a diagnosis. It's something that could be a possibility, but I don't like saying it's likely because I genuinely don't know. I just felt it was necessary to show how perhaps I process emotions in an intense/different way, but I wanted to clarify this just in case.
I don't have much good advice, but if I were you, I would just sit her (your mom) down and try and talk about how you feel. I know this probably won't work but in my mind, it's worth a try.
for your pjs, depending on how recent that was, if it's still there, you could soak it in water, that might help.
I don't have much good advice, but if I were you, I would just sit her (your mom) down and try and talk about how you feel. I know this probably won't work but in my mind, it's worth a try.
for your pjs, depending on how recent that was, if it's still there, you could soak it in water, that might help.
I know it’s really bad, but because I’m 17 and will be moving out in a year, I’m sort of just hoping that if I suck it up for another year it won’t matter anymore as I won’t be home anyway. I’m just really scared to be honest with her as usually if I try to talk to her about something like that she will blame me for it because she always believes she is right. If she knows she’s wrong she’ll approach me because of it first, not the other way around
I know that stimming is associated with being neurodivergant. Stimming is the only major symptom I show though, and so there has not been enough of a reason to seek a diagnosis. It's something that could be a possibility, but I don't like saying it's likely because I genuinely don't know. I just felt it was necessary to show how perhaps I process emotions in an intense/different way, but I wanted to clarify this just in case.
i don't wanna "diagnose" you or upset you, but as someone is neurodivergent (autistic and adhd, to be specific), from what you've posted, i've seen other things that kinda set off my radar, so to speak. like, you saying you don't know how to process things your mom says angrily, even if you agree w what she said. or becoming inconsolable and v frustrated by not being able to understand things. and you mentioned in the random thoughts thread that you struggle w talking to ppl your own age and only speak when spoken to. there's a lot of signs of neurodivergency that often go unnoticed in girls and afab ppl. i understand if you wanna ignore this, but if you wanna talk my pms are always open <3
i don't wanna "diagnose" you or upset you, but as someone is neurodivergent (autistic and adhd, to be specific), from what you've posted, i've seen other things that kinda set off my radar, so to speak. like, you saying you don't know how to process things your mom says angrily, even if you agree w what she said. or becoming inconsolable and v frustrated by not being able to understand things. and you mentioned in the random thoughts thread that you struggle w talking to ppl your own age and only speak when spoken to. there's a lot of signs of neurodivergency that often go unnoticed in girls and afab ppl. i understand if you wanna ignore this, but if you wanna talk my pms are always open <3
I mean, it’s something me and my mum have looked into (specifically into dyspraxia as I show more symptoms for it, particularly when I was much younger). But since it doesn’t really have an impact that would cause me to need access requirements and such it never felt important to see a doctor about it
I mean, it’s something me and my mum have looked into (specifically into dyspraxia as I show more symptoms for it, particularly when I was much younger). But since it doesn’t really have an impact that would cause me to need access requirements and such it never felt important to see a doctor about it
dyspraxia sucks. i've never been formally diagnosed w dyspraxia, but still. my speech isn't super affected (other than a lisp and a stutter i mostly grew out of), but tying my shoes, buttons, drawing, using scissors, putting on makeup, typing the "correct" way, and keeping a literal grip on things are my worst enemy. i also have a tendency to mirror my movements wo meaning to - so, you know. when i toss my phone onto the bed, i automatically toss the open bottle of water on my bed, too.
You made me not want to leave the house.
I was so so so scared of you ---.
And then the cops came.
And who's fault was it?
Yours.
I NEVER wanna experience something so scary.
You know how scary it is when an 8th grader says she gonna beat you up and you're only in 6th grade???
I've seen her fights.
She woulda k!lled us.
I still find her scary.
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