{•------»Mental Health Support Space«------•}

[RoseandRosie]

Last night, someone I thought i was close too, told me she wishes I had succeeded in killing myself the last time I tried and that she hopes I try again soon because I don’t deserve to be alive. I kind of laughed it off, thinking she was joking, but then I knew she was serious when she said I deserved it. When I asked what “it” was, she goes “you know what it is, don’t be stupid” and I was confused, so I kept asking her and she finally said “you deserved the rape that happened to you. That’s what you get for talking to someone else’s boyfriend.” And I just started crying because I couldn’t understand why she was being like this. We weren’t the best of friends but we were pretty good friends in high school and she was one of the first people I told the incident about. I asked her if she really meant that and she said “of course I do. You don’t deserve to be alive or even loved. No one even likes you, people just pretend they do or else you act like this.” And then I blocked her number. But the whole thing has been on my mind all night, it caused me to stay up until 5am this morning, just thinking, that maybe she is right. And I have been thinking about it all morning and the different ways I could do something about it....but it all leads back to one thing, that she’s right and maybe I should just listen to her for once.

Oh my god. That shit isnt okay and she is completely wrong.

 

[knnovation]

Oh my god. That shit isnt okay and she is completely wrong.

First it was my irl best friend and now this other friend, that I haven’t talked to since high school.

 

[taesshlong]

Last night, someone I thought i was close too, told me she wishes I had succeeded in killing myself the last time I tried and that she hopes I try again soon because I don’t deserve to be alive. I kind of laughed it off, thinking she was joking, but then I knew she was serious when she said I deserved it. When I asked what “it” was, she goes “you know what it is, don’t be stupid” and I was confused, so I kept asking her and she finally said “you deserved the rape that happened to you. That’s what you get for talking to someone else’s boyfriend.” And I just started crying because I couldn’t understand why she was being like this. We weren’t the best of friends but we were pretty good friends in high school and she was one of the first people I told the incident about. I asked her if she really meant that and she said “of course I do. You don’t deserve to be alive or even loved. No one even likes you, people just pretend they do or else you act like this.” And then I blocked her number. But the whole thing has been on my mind all night, it caused me to stay up until 5am this morning, just thinking, that maybe she is right. And I have been thinking about it all morning and the different ways I could do something about it....but it all leads back to one thing, that she’s right and maybe I should just listen to her for once.

what a dumbass, i'm so fucking sorry. no matter what kind of person you are, you shouldn't go through *one of the most traumatizing things to happen to someone.* idk about her, but i am so, so, so greatful you're alive and vibing. i'm so happy i met you, and ik we're not super close, but you're amazing and i'm happy to call you, out of everyone, my twinnie. again, i'm sorry that happened to you.

 

[taesshlong]

just a BIG tw here, eds, swearing. //








why. why. why. why. why. how come i find everyone else attractive, and i can't find myself attractive. does that mean nobody else finds me attractive? fuck. i shouldn't have fallen in this hole. but i can't tell anyone. i shouldn't have looked for t******. i'll never look like them. how long should i go? fuck, maybe a week or two? i can last awhile without it, especially with my weight. god that girl today, i knew she was struggling and i wanted to help her so bad, but deep down i wanted to look like it too. am i crazy? am i a disgusting person? lmao i can easily answer these. but don't worry, "i'm only thirteen! i am too young to worry about what i look like! i'm pretty! i'm attention seeking! i'm a trauma stealer!" i'll just skip out on everything. even ****. nothing can help me anyway.

 

[RoseandRosie]

just a BIG tw here, eds, swearing. //








why. why. why. why. why. how come i find everyone else attractive, and i can't find myself attractive. does that mean nobody else finds me attractive? fuck. i shouldn't have fallen in this hole. but i can't tell anyone. i shouldn't have looked for t******. i'll never look like them. how long should i go? fuck, maybe a week or two? i can last awhile without it, especially with my weight. god that girl today, i knew she was struggling and i wanted to help her so bad, but deep down i wanted to look like it too. am i crazy? am i a disgusting person? lmao i can easily answer these. but don't worry, "i'm only thirteen! i am too young to worry about what i look like! i'm pretty! i'm attention seeking! i'm a trauma stealer!" i'll just skip out on everything. even ****. nothing can help me anyway.

You are amazing no matter what you tell yourslef. Your age doesnt affect how you feel. And If you say nothing can help you, I can. I have been in your position and I got through it

 

[knnovation]

what a dumbass, i'm so fucking sorry. no matter what kind of person you are, you shouldn't go through *one of the most traumatizing things to happen to someone.* idk about her, but i am so, so, so greatful you're alive and vibing. i'm so happy i met you, and ik we're not super close, but you're amazing and i'm happy to call you, out of everyone, my twinnie. again, i'm sorry that happened to you.

Thank you twinnie

 

[taesshlong]

you're

Thank you twinnie

you're welcome

 

[anmybeloved]

Spoiler: "Why do you dance all the time, you've lost so much weight" (body image, weight, ed, food, death, *******)

It's for him, for my best friend, for my platonic soulmate, for Toshi. We promised we would fulfill our dreams together but since he's gone I have to do it alone. I have to try harder and harder for him. I know I'm losing weight. I know I'm not eating. I know. I know. Please, just leave me alone. I don't care that since October I've went from 127 pounds to barely 95 pounds. I know I'm underweight, i know I'm skin and bones, i know i know I'm sorry please, just don't stop me from dancing

 

[RoseandRosie]

Spoiler: TW// Stress☆ P!lls

My exams are coming up... I cant deal with my classmates and my professer.
My pills arent working my therapy isnt helping and I am to stressed out. I cant deal with it all at once.
My classmates are also noticing my limping and that I dont dress like I used to.
I dont want to go back and I cant. My family says its the only way to get a "healthy mindset". But they didnt believe me asking... Basically pleading for help when I was 13. Its all their fault of why I tried to kill myself. Its all their fault. But wait! Oh no, sHe jUsT wAnTs aTtEnIoN bEcAuSe ShEs LoNeLy. NO. Im asking for youf help because im broken.. But you never have the time to listen..

 

[RoseandRosie]

I know how you feel everybody thinks that you just want attention but you're not and nobody understands you until they're right where you are right now. I'm anorexic because my mom's always like "you're too fat!!" or "why don't you just lose weight!!" when really I'm the skinniest out of all my siblings and that I've started to starve myself and now my mom's like " look at yourself and then tell that you're not an attention-seeking b*tch!!" and " look at yourself you're so fucking ugly!!"

No offense but your mom is a rude b!tch

 

[RoseandRosie]

No offense taken she totally is.

Your mom and my Aunt would be VERY good friends. But they wouldnt be a good mix in humanitys eyes

 

[RoseandRosie]

Truth be told I would rather live with my aunt because she doesn't care what I look like, my sexuality, and she wouldn't abuse me(see my earlier post if you want know about it) as long as we're safe we can do anything we want.

I'm back with my parents because Covid. God how I wish covid wasnt a thing

 

[knnovation]

Your mom and my Aunt would be VERY good friends. But they wouldnt be a good mix in humanitys eyes

My mom would get along with this group too. She says everything I do is for attention, and has really been nitpicking at my weight for the last few weeks, again, and it’s causing me to revert back into my eating disordered mind and I literally hate it. It’s like, no matter what I do, she will never see the good in me.

 

[RoseandRosie]

My mom would get along with this group too. She says everything I do is for attention, and has really been nitpicking at my weight for the last few weeks, again, and it’s causing me to revert back into my eating disordered mind and I literally hate it. It’s like, no matter what I do, she will never see the good in me.

Spoiler: Hurtful words

Shes probably a fat rat so why tf is she worried about you?

 

[knnovation]

Spoiler: Hurtful words

Shes probably a fat rat so why tf is she worried about you?

She is she threw it in my face that she lost 5 pounds and how she weighs less than me now

 

[RoseandRosie]

She is she threw it in my face that she lost 5 pounds and how she weighs less than me now

How rude of her.

 

[lynch.]

Spoiler: TW // stress, weight, st*rving, body image

so a few days ago (on Sunday to be exact) I planned out a really nice outfit that I was going to wear today. I was gonna wear a green sweater with a skirt and I was gonna wear it for St. Patricks day because why not? So that day i washed my outfit and after it came out of the dryer I tried it on to make sure everything still fitted and I noticed that I didn't exactly look the way I wanted to. I thought I looked overweight. I was pointing out everything I didn't like about my image. So then I had a silent mental breakdown in the bathroom for half an hour and I just decided that I would take a shower. Taking a shower literally made things worse. I had to close my eyes while showering because I didn't want to see my own body. To make things worse I had no choice but to open my eyes when I was done to get my towel so that I didn't fall, and guess what? I accidentally looked into the mirror. yay.
Since that day I've kept track of what I've eaten, how much I've eaten, when I ate, and my weight. Again, I won't go into detail. In a span of 3 days i've eaten 1 blueberry and 3 cheerios. ofc I drank a crap ton of water too.. Guess how much my weight changed? 6 pounds lost. I feel like I should keep up at it but I don't want anybody to notice the change. Doesn't matter tho because I still look like a pig.
Yesterday I called my friend and surprise surprise, he talked to me for more than 10 seconds. We were catching up with eachother and he was telling me about his relationship problems and how he found out his girl was dirty-talking to another guy and I was sitting there and sympathizing with him and he asks me if i'm having any problems. I went into depth about how much i've been eating the past few days and I told him that I hadn't eaten much and that I always felt dizzy. My stomach wouldn't stop growling and I ate a single blueberry and while on call with him I started crying. He asked me what's wrong and I told him i felt disgusting and fat because I ate a blueberry and he says "really? you're crying over eating a blueberry?" okay wow. no wonder your girlfriend didn't love you enough to stay loyal to you, you've become an asshole these past few months. well, of course I didn't say that out loud because I would never hurt my friend's feelings so I just agreed with him. "yeah, I'm overthinking it."
Today, I was supposed to wear the outfit I planned out. I got upset and I shoved it under my bed so nobody could find it and I could just forget about it. My mom woke up late so she rushed us even more than she usually does. I just wore a hoodie and sweatpants. My mom asked me in the car why I didn't wear the outfit I wanted to wear and I told her I thought I looked fat and that I didn't feel confident enough to wear it. Instead of making me feel better she tells me "oh god... how many times do we have to tell you??? YOU. ARE. NOT. FAT. I don't know how many times you need to hear this but you are so skinny, where do you get the idea that you're fat?? are you dumb? do we need to take you to the doctor to see if your head is working correctly??" and ofc my stepdad gets involved and says "Don't worry, we will tell you when you look fat and we won't put it nicely."...yay.
I feel trapped.

 

[knnovation]

Spoiler: TW // stress, weight, st*rving, body image

so a few days ago (on Sunday to be exact) I planned out a really nice outfit that I was going to wear today. I was gonna wear a green sweater with a skirt and I was gonna wear it for St. Patricks day because why not? So that day i washed my outfit and after it came out of the dryer I tried it on to make sure everything still fitted and I noticed that I didn't exactly look the way I wanted to. I thought I looked overweight. I was pointing out everything I didn't like about my image. So then I had a silent mental breakdown in the bathroom for half an hour and I just decided that I would take a shower. Taking a shower literally made things worse. I had to close my eyes while showering because I didn't want to see my own body. To make things worse I had no choice but to open my eyes when I was done to get my towel so that I didn't fall, and guess what? I accidentally looked into the mirror. yay.
Since that day I've kept track of what I've eaten, how much I've eaten, when I ate, and my weight. Again, I won't go into detail. In a span of 3 days i've eaten 1 blueberry and 3 cheerios. ofc I drank a crap ton of water too.. Guess how much my weight changed? 6 pounds lost. I feel like I should keep up at it but I don't want anybody to notice the change. Doesn't matter tho because I still look like a pig.
Yesterday I called my friend and surprise surprise, he talked to me for more than 10 seconds. We were catching up with eachother and he was telling me about his relationship problems and how he found out his girl was dirty-talking to another guy and I was sitting there and sympathizing with him and he asks me if i'm having any problems. I went into depth about how much i've been eating the past few days and I told him that I hadn't eaten much and that I always felt dizzy. My stomach wouldn't stop growling and I ate a single blueberry and while on call with him I started crying. He asked me what's wrong and I told him i felt disgusting and fat because I ate a blueberry and he says "really? you're crying over eating a blueberry?" okay wow. no wonder your girlfriend didn't love you enough to stay loyal to you, you've become an asshole these past few months. well, of course I didn't say that out loud because I would never hurt my friend's feelings so I just agreed with him. "yeah, I'm overthinking it."
Today, I was supposed to wear the outfit I planned out. I got upset and I shoved it under my bed so nobody could find it and I could just forget about it. My mom woke up late so she rushed us even more than she usually does. I just wore a hoodie and sweatpants. My mom asked me in the car why I didn't wear the outfit I wanted to wear and I told her I thought I looked fat and that I didn't feel confident enough to wear it. Instead of making me feel better she tells me "oh god... how many times do we have to tell you??? YOU. ARE. NOT. FAT. I don't know how many times you need to hear this but you are so skinny, where do you get the idea that you're fat?? are you dumb? do we need to take you to the doctor to see if your head is working correctly??" and ofc my stepdad gets involved and says "Don't worry, we will tell you when you look fat and we won't put it nicely."...yay.
I feel trapped.

Please don’t starve yourself, it’s not worth it. I’m sure you look fine but now I’m worried about you :/

 

[RoseandRosie]

Spoiler: TW // stress, weight, st*rving, body image

so a few days ago (on Sunday to be exact) I planned out a really nice outfit that I was going to wear today. I was gonna wear a green sweater with a skirt and I was gonna wear it for St. Patricks day because why not? So that day i washed my outfit and after it came out of the dryer I tried it on to make sure everything still fitted and I noticed that I didn't exactly look the way I wanted to. I thought I looked overweight. I was pointing out everything I didn't like about my image. So then I had a silent mental breakdown in the bathroom for half an hour and I just decided that I would take a shower. Taking a shower literally made things worse. I had to close my eyes while showering because I didn't want to see my own body. To make things worse I had no choice but to open my eyes when I was done to get my towel so that I didn't fall, and guess what? I accidentally looked into the mirror. yay.
Since that day I've kept track of what I've eaten, how much I've eaten, when I ate, and my weight. Again, I won't go into detail. In a span of 3 days i've eaten 1 blueberry and 3 cheerios. ofc I drank a crap ton of water too.. Guess how much my weight changed? 6 pounds lost. I feel like I should keep up at it but I don't want anybody to notice the change. Doesn't matter tho because I still look like a pig.
Yesterday I called my friend and surprise surprise, he talked to me for more than 10 seconds. We were catching up with eachother and he was telling me about his relationship problems and how he found out his girl was dirty-talking to another guy and I was sitting there and sympathizing with him and he asks me if i'm having any problems. I went into depth about how much i've been eating the past few days and I told him that I hadn't eaten much and that I always felt dizzy. My stomach wouldn't stop growling and I ate a single blueberry and while on call with him I started crying. He asked me what's wrong and I told him i felt disgusting and fat because I ate a blueberry and he says "really? you're crying over eating a blueberry?" okay wow. no wonder your girlfriend didn't love you enough to stay loyal to you, you've become an asshole these past few months. well, of course I didn't say that out loud because I would never hurt my friend's feelings so I just agreed with him. "yeah, I'm overthinking it."
Today, I was supposed to wear the outfit I planned out. I got upset and I shoved it under my bed so nobody could find it and I could just forget about it. My mom woke up late so she rushed us even more than she usually does. I just wore a hoodie and sweatpants. My mom asked me in the car why I didn't wear the outfit I wanted to wear and I told her I thought I looked fat and that I didn't feel confident enough to wear it. Instead of making me feel better she tells me "oh god... how many times do we have to tell you??? YOU. ARE. NOT. FAT. I don't know how many times you need to hear this but you are so skinny, where do you get the idea that you're fat?? are you dumb? do we need to take you to the doctor to see if your head is working correctly??" and ofc my stepdad gets involved and says "Don't worry, we will tell you when you look fat and we won't put it nicely."...yay.
I feel trapped.

Your not fat your a skinny legend.
Your beautiful in my eyes even if I haven't seen you!
I hate your stepdad now though

 

[red riot114]

Oh my god, how am I just hearing about this. My sister had came out to my mom when she was in 6th grade (and I was all like you get it girl) until I heard what my mom did to her. According to my sister, my mom had beat her telling her she was straight and I really don't want to come out to my mom till I move out of her f*cking house.

i feel your pain also ur sis if a queen for coming out and is she ok??