{•------»Mental Health Support Space«------•}

[renspace]

TW// Mention of past su*cide, self harm, and other mental health things
So about a day from now will be the 6 year anniversary of when I tried to take my own life.
This time of year is always hard for me. It was when I tended to have break downs and got hospitalized.
I think it's due to stress and burn out that exacerbates my mental health disorders. In addition, turning a year older (as I did on the 4th), reminds me of everything in the future. This multiplies my anxiety by a million and makes me want to give up.
So these next couple of days are gonna be super difficult. I already feel this overarching sadness all the time.
I feel lonely and like nobody wants me around, even thought I know this is not true.
I even thought about harming myself again. Which is something I haven't done in 3 years now. I'm not gonna do it, so you don't have to worry about me. I know it's a really stupid thing to do and will set back all of my hard work. Plus, I'm an adult. I feel like I need to leave behind all the mental health shit of my teenage years.
I keep imagining the day it happened and all. I won't go into detail for the sake of myself seeing the words written out. I also don't want to trigger any of you.
But it's hard to see the scars.
Anyways, I'll be having a hard time these next couple of days. So I may seem off. Like less happy, energetic. I'll probably be all self-deprecating, which I hate doing. It's cause all that's going through my head right now is that nobody wants me here or anywhere. I might even get into a pissy mood like I was a day or two ago. So please bare with me, and know that it's not your fault. It's all on me, and the "normal" Tara will be back soon.
You don't have to send me messages about this or treat me like I'm made of glass. If I need help I'll reach out. I don't like emotions and I don't like making people feel obligated to help me. It's my problem, and nobody deserves to get entangled in it.
I appreciate all of you. And thank you for reading if you got this far, but I doubt any of you care enough to.

Appreciate you too just felt the need to genuinely say this because I truly do and many others here too. I understand how you feel 100%. Hope you feel fully better soon , sometimes it's okay to not be okay (I know you didn't want any messages about it and you don't like emotions so you don't even have to respond if you don't want to, it's okay really, I just wanted you to know this)

 

[knnovation]

TW//Child Abuse

So when I was young my mom had abused me (kinda) I had once stole some money from my sister and try to help my friends and since I was a total coward and didn't ask my mom I got in trouble. Someone who wasn't having as much trouble had snitched on me to my sisters and my sisters told my mom. That day my mom beat me with a metal broom and I was left with bruises all over my back. Even once she had punched me in the face and stomach and it HURT. But it didn't want to report her so I had kept it a secret and only told my closest friends and it just feels like she doesn't even care for me. I'm so scared of her and I don't how to face her.

If you’re a minor than please please please report her to Child Protective Services, especially if the abuse is still continuing. If you’re too scared to call CPS, maybe there is another adult figure in your life(family member, teacher, counselor, friend’s parent etc) that you can talk to about what happened/has happened and see if they will go with you or be in the same room when you make the call. Please be safe and I’m so sorry this happened to you <3

 

[saaylhy]

I see ya....
Sunshine in your day~

 

[lynch.]

TW - homophobia, mentions of homophobic slurs

Spoiler: . . .

im gonna go insane if my brother keeps calling me the f-slur. yes. my eight year old brother is calling me the f-slur. I've asked my mom and my stepdad if they can ask him to stop and they have told him to stop and they've grounded him for several weeks (which by the way, he gets let off of his punishments after a day) but does he stop calling me that awful word? nope. whenever I ask him to stop watching that same clip of a Family Guy character making a homophobic joke, he tells me "shut up (insert f-slur)". he just won't stop calling me that disgusting word. where did he even learn that?? he's literally eight..
on top of all of this my aunt keeps talking about how legalizing gay marriage was a huge mistake and that now our country is going to sh!t because now (f-slurs) are getting married and running around and disobeying God.. geez, I thought it was horrible enough when she started going to school to become a nurse when she's an anti-vaxxer. When I come out I really don't care if they get mad, I just want them to know that i'm probably not gonna have a husband and biological children when I get older.

 

[yawnzzn]

Hi Im koko Im pansexual my pronouns are she/her but I dont care about what pronouns you use tbh

I dont think Im interesting in men romantically at all. Like sure they are attractive but I dont see myself settling down with a guy or having kids or anything like that. My mom keeps saying that out of all of my siblings Im gonna be the first to have kids despite me coming out to her a couple of years ago. And she keeps asking if Im gay and I asked her why and she said, ¨Idk something could change¨. I was shocked. I was like ¨ẅhat do you mean??¨ she told me people choose to be gay the ghetto🕴and when I told her that, that doesnt make sense she tried to argue with me. Like ma´am Ive known I was gay since like 2nd grade aint NOTHING changing (pls I cant change the skin tone of these emojis on this computer its kinda ugly)

 

[lynch.]

Hi Im koko Im pansexual my pronouns are she/her but I dont care about what pronouns you use tbh

I dont think Im interesting in men romantically at all. Like sure they are attractive but I dont see myself settling down with a guy or having kids or anything like that. My mom keeps saying that out of all of my siblings Im gonna be the first to have kids despite me coming out to her a couple of years ago. And she keeps asking if Im gay and I asked her why and she said, ¨Idk something could change¨. I was shocked. I was like ¨ẅhat do you mean??¨ she told me people choose to be gay the ghetto🕴and when I told her that, that doesnt make sense she tried to argue with me. Like ma´am Ive known I was gay since like 2nd grade aint NOTHING changing (pls I cant change the skin tone of these emojis on this computer its kinda ugly)

i cannot even count the amount of times i've heard "being gay is a choice"... some of the straight people are just really insensitive. like mhm okay Karen being gay isn't a choice but do you know what IS a choice? you shutting tf up

 

[yawnzzn]

i cannot even count the amount of times i've heard "being gay is a choice"... some of the straight people are just really insensitive. like mhm okay Karen being gay isn't a choice but do you know what IS a choice? you shutting tf up

exactly, I cant say I blame her. Shes just ignorant. My great grandma (her mom) is a Jehovah´s witness and she was raised with those believes and hetero-normativity for general society. But if she wants to be apart of my life like she says she does, she should probably learn and change her outlook on these things. She said she accepts me but she acting as if I´m gonna crack one day and tell her I like guys

 

[lynch.]

exactly, I cant say I blame her. Shes just ignorant. My great grandma (her mom) is a Jehovah´s witness and she was raised with those believes and hetero-normativity for general society. But if she wants to be apart of my life like she says she does, she should probably learn and change her outlook on these things. She said she accepts me but she acting as if I´m gonna crack one day and tell her I like guys

it's kinda similar with my mom, when I came out to her as bisexual I told her i like girls a lot more and now 2 years later she's still she's acting like i'm gonna grow up and get married to a mad and have 28 grandkids for her yea, no. i would much rather own a cat with my wife than have a husband and kids

 

[yawnzzn]

it's kinda similar with my mom, when I came out to her as bisexual I told her i like girls a lot more and now 2 years later she's still she's acting like i'm gonna grow up and get married to a mad and have 28 grandkids for her yea, no. i would much rather own a cat with my wife than have a husband and kids

same, I never even had a bf to her knowledge its a little late for me to just SWITCH how I feel.

 

[RoseandRosie]

Spoiler: So I dont hurt anyone

I am very sensitive to abusive content and speech As I am a victim of heavy abuse. So it can make me if you could say... Upset.

So I just want to clarify that type of content spoken or said around me can be extremely triggering.

 

[taesshlong]

Spoiler: So I dont hurt anyone

I am very sensitive to abusive content and speech As I am a victim of heavy abuse. So it can make me if you could say... Upset.

So I just want to clarify that type of content spoken or said around me can be extremely triggering.

good to know. the content here has tws/cws that tell you what topic is being said and if you should avoid it. if anything has no tw on it or you accidentally see a trigger-word, please feel free to dm me. i can try my best to help you.

 

[taesshlong]

Spoiler: fuck

it's been 12 days.. why am i such a pussy. i should've done it. i usually take risks, why not this one. fuck fuck fuck. they wanted me to get help and it didn't fucking work. more meds, that's it. funny, these meds don't even fucking work. but if i tell anyone, "oh you're just faking", "oh it's not that bad", "have you been skipping?", "maybe you're just crazy."
i don't want to leave her, she just opened up to me and i'm just being selfish now. god i wish help worked. i wish i would atleast feel 'okay'. i should've been gone already. god i'm such a dumbass.

 

[RoseandRosie]

Spoiler: fuck

it's been 12 days.. why am i such a pussy. i should've done it. i usually take risks, why not this one. fuck fuck fuck. they wanted me to get help and it didn't fucking work. more meds, that's it. funny, these meds don't even fucking work. but if i tell anyone, "oh you're just faking", "oh it's not that bad", "have you been skipping?", "maybe you're just crazy."
i don't want to leave her, she just opened up to me and i'm just being selfish now. god i wish help worked. i wish i would atleast feel 'okay'. i should've been gone already. god i'm such a dumbass.

I bet your pretty smart.
I know where your coming from... And I know it can be hard but you can get through it!
Meds don't help me much but I still do what I have to. And whoever thinks your faking has something wrong with their Brain for sure

 

[taesshlong]

I bet your pretty smart.
I know where your coming from... And I know it can be hard but you can get through it!
Meds don't help me much but I still do what I have to. And whoever thinks your faking has something wrong with their Brain for sure

thank you.

 

[knnovation]

Last night, someone I thought i was close too, told me she wishes I had succeeded in killing myself the last time I tried and that she hopes I try again soon because I don’t deserve to be alive. I kind of laughed it off, thinking she was joking, but then I knew she was serious when she said I deserved it. When I asked what “it” was, she goes “you know what it is, don’t be stupid” and I was confused, so I kept asking her and she finally said “you deserved the rape that happened to you. That’s what you get for talking to someone else’s boyfriend.” And I just started crying because I couldn’t understand why she was being like this. We weren’t the best of friends but we were pretty good friends in high school and she was one of the first people I told the incident about. I asked her if she really meant that and she said “of course I do. You don’t deserve to be alive or even loved. No one even likes you, people just pretend they do or else you act like this.” And then I blocked her number. But the whole thing has been on my mind all night, it caused me to stay up until 5am this morning, just thinking, that maybe she is right. And I have been thinking about it all morning and the different ways I could do something about it....but it all leads back to one thing, that she’s right and maybe I should just listen to her for once.

 

[lynch.]

Last night, someone I thought i was close too, told me she wishes I had succeeded in killing myself the last time I tried and that she hopes I try again soon because I don’t deserve to be alive. I kind of laughed it off, thinking she was joking, but then I knew she was serious when she said I deserved it. When I asked what “it” was, she goes “you know what it is, don’t be stupid” and I was confused, so I kept asking her and she finally said “you deserved the rape that happened to you. That’s what you get for talking to someone else’s boyfriend.” And I just started crying because I couldn’t understand why she was being like this. We weren’t the best of friends but we were pretty good friends in high school and she was one of the first people I told the incident about. I asked her if she really meant that and she said “of course I do. You don’t deserve to be alive or even loved. No one even likes you, people just pretend they do or else you act like this.” And then I blocked her number. But the whole thing has been on my mind all night, it caused me to stay up until 5am this morning, just thinking, that maybe she is right. And I have been thinking about it all morning and the different ways I could do something about it....but it all leads back to one thing, that she’s right and maybe I should just listen to her for once.

I'm so sorry Kas, you deserve better people in your life. She's completely wrong. You didn't deserve what happened to you. Something similar happened to me as well, so if you would like you can PM me to talk and I will do my best to give you support

 

[knnovation]

I'm so sorry Kas, you deserve better people in your life. She's completely wrong. You didn't deserve what happened to you. Something similar happened to me as well, so if you would like you can PM me to talk and I will do my best to give you support

I’m just kind of numb, but thank you, Ash. I’m sorry something similar happened to you though

 

[woosungsrose]

Last night, someone I thought i was close too, told me she wishes I had succeeded in killing myself the last time I tried and that she hopes I try again soon because I don’t deserve to be alive. I kind of laughed it off, thinking she was joking, but then I knew she was serious when she said I deserved it. When I asked what “it” was, she goes “you know what it is, don’t be stupid” and I was confused, so I kept asking her and she finally said “you deserved the rape that happened to you. That’s what you get for talking to someone else’s boyfriend.” And I just started crying because I couldn’t understand why she was being like this. We weren’t the best of friends but we were pretty good friends in high school and she was one of the first people I told the incident about. I asked her if she really meant that and she said “of course I do. You don’t deserve to be alive or even loved. No one even likes you, people just pretend they do or else you act like this.” And then I blocked her number. But the whole thing has been on my mind all night, it caused me to stay up until 5am this morning, just thinking, that maybe she is right. And I have been thinking about it all morning and the different ways I could do something about it....but it all leads back to one thing, that she’s right and maybe I should just listen to her for once.

omg im so sorry. whats disgusting to say to someone

 

[anmybeloved]

Last night, someone I thought i was close too, told me she wishes I had succeeded in killing myself the last time I tried and that she hopes I try again soon because I don’t deserve to be alive. I kind of laughed it off, thinking she was joking, but then I knew she was serious when she said I deserved it. When I asked what “it” was, she goes “you know what it is, don’t be stupid” and I was confused, so I kept asking her and she finally said “you deserved the rape that happened to you. That’s what you get for talking to someone else’s boyfriend.” And I just started crying because I couldn’t understand why she was being like this. We weren’t the best of friends but we were pretty good friends in high school and she was one of the first people I told the incident about. I asked her if she really meant that and she said “of course I do. You don’t deserve to be alive or even loved. No one even likes you, people just pretend they do or else you act like this.” And then I blocked her number. But the whole thing has been on my mind all night, it caused me to stay up until 5am this morning, just thinking, that maybe she is right. And I have been thinking about it all morning and the different ways I could do something about it....but it all leads back to one thing, that she’s right and maybe I should just listen to her for once.

Just know that it's not true, kiwi, you deserve to be here <3

 

[lynch.]

I’m just kind of numb, but thank you, Ash. I’m sorry something similar happened to you though

ofc, and i'm alright now <3