{•------»Mental Health Support Space«------•}

[LostInTheDream]

Anonymous Reply:
TW: self harm
i have been struggling to lose weight for months now, at least since July of this year. i don't know if i have really really bad genetics or whatever it is but i have only lost 5 pounds this whole time, and even after making such small progress i'm still so mad at myself and my body.
to give you guys an idea of how much i weigh and my height, i am 4'11 tall (149 cm) and i currently weight around 113-115 pounds. i've been skipping breakfast, only drinking water throughout the day, and eating really small portions at dinner or just skipping dinner altogether most of the time. sometimes i get really bad headaches and stomach pains so i can't help but sneak a little bit of food sometimes, and every time i do i feel horrible. throughout the whole day i'm either in school or im exercising alone for hours upon hours. dancing, jumping jacks, you name it.
My mom is really caring and she always wants to make sure i'm fed and i'm okay and since i'm at my grandparent's house most of the day i usually eat dinner over there. so, to get out of eating and trying to keep up with my horrible habit, i will tell my grandma that i will eat back at my house, and when i get home i will tell my mom that i ate over at my grandparent's house to get out of eating all together. i feel horrible about lying to my own family about my health for my own self gain but it makes me satisfied when i think about how skinny i might be in the future.
i'm so tired of being chubby. i'm thinking about getting into more dengerous habbits like heavily restricting what i eat and maybe have an eating schedule. i know that it would be devastating to my mental and physical health, but i still find comfort in that idea of being skinny. the most horrible part is that i'm only 13 (with my age you probably know who i am by now) and i'm afraid this might ruin my entire life.

You're right, it might ruin your entire life. I know how awful that sounds, but I have experienced exactly what you want to move onto.
I let me my own misconceptions rule how I live my life. It has lead me to having very unhealthy eating habits and horrible self esteem. I'm underweight due to heavy restricting, and I still hate my body.
Please don't go down the same path that I did. I know you are upset with your body right now, but you are so young. As you continue to go through puberty and enter your later teenage years your body will begin to adjust, lose baby fat, and your weight will become more steady. Also with your age, it is very dangerous to begin heavy restricting, as it could really mess up your body's development into adulthood.
Those headaches and stomach pains are your body telling you that you need to eat. Please listen to your body, and watch as it changes are you grow older. If you ever need to talk about this feel free to pm me. We might already talk but because of my horrible memory I have pretty much forgotten how old everyone on here is, so idk who you are. But you are loved and you are beautiful. Please don't destroy your life by developing a full blown ED like I have.

 

[merveilles]

Anonymous Reply:
TW: self harm
i have been struggling to lose weight for months now, at least since July of this year. i don't know if i have really really bad genetics or whatever it is but i have only lost 5 pounds this whole time, and even after making such small progress i'm still so mad at myself and my body.
to give you guys an idea of how much i weigh and my height, i am 4'11 tall (149 cm) and i currently weight around 113-115 pounds. i've been skipping breakfast, only drinking water throughout the day, and eating really small portions at dinner or just skipping dinner altogether most of the time. sometimes i get really bad headaches and stomach pains so i can't help but sneak a little bit of food sometimes, and every time i do i feel horrible. throughout the whole day i'm either in school or im exercising alone for hours upon hours. dancing, jumping jacks, you name it.
My mom is really caring and she always wants to make sure i'm fed and i'm okay and since i'm at my grandparent's house most of the day i usually eat dinner over there. so, to get out of eating and trying to keep up with my horrible habit, i will tell my grandma that i will eat back at my house, and when i get home i will tell my mom that i ate over at my grandparent's house to get out of eating all together. i feel horrible about lying to my own family about my health for my own self gain but it makes me satisfied when i think about how skinny i might be in the future.
i'm so tired of being chubby. i'm thinking about getting into more dengerous habbits like heavily restricting what i eat and maybe have an eating schedule. i know that it would be devastating to my mental and physical health, but i still find comfort in that idea of being skinny. the most horrible part is that i'm only 13 (with my age you probably know who i am by now) and i'm afraid this might ruin my entire life.

I know exactly what you are going through, I was around your age(well 14 but still)when I got into heavily restricting and losing weight and you're right, it probably will ruin your life as you get older. As @Lost_in_the_Dream said, you are still young and as you get older your body will change and you will lose your baby fat. Please take it from two people who have been through this(myself and Tara)and don't do this to yourself. I can't speak for Tara, but I know that for myself, if I had someone giving me advice at such a young age that what I was about to do, heavy restricting, overexcercising and other dangerous methods to lose weight, was unhealthy and to not do it, I would have listened. I lost my teenage years to an eating disorder and I regret it every single day. I know there is this pressure from society that us girls and women are supposed to be stick thin, but please, please take a moment and read our advice or even reach out to one of us if you feel comfortable doing so. You're so young and your body still has so much more developing to do and it will, as you grow older. Because once you get into heavy restricting as a means to lose weight, it will stick with you even into adulthood, trust me on this. Please be safe & if you ever need someone to talk to when it comes to these things, please reach out to me or Tara, we have both been there and we know what you are going through, you are loved and you are not alone.

 

[LostInTheDream]

Anonymous Reply: my grades came in the mail yesterday and well.... my parents were not happy about it i have 3 Ds 1 E ( E basically means failing) and only a few As and Bs. I knew this was coming and i was scared my parents were gonna hit me. And here we are today. Im grounded i cant talk to my boyfriend and he was what kept me going. My mom hit me this morning but idk everyday just keeps getting worse.

 

[LostInTheDream]

Anonymous Reply: my grades came in the mail yesterday and well.... my parents were not happy about it i have 3 Ds 1 E ( E basically means failing) and only a few As and Bs. I knew this was coming and i was scared my parents were gonna hit me. And here we are today. Im grounded i cant talk to my boyfriend and he was what kept me going. My mom hit me this morning but idk everyday just keeps getting worse.

I'm so sorry you are being treated like this. Your parents, or anybody, should never ever hurt you. I know that these situations are delicate, so you probably won't reach out for help like I wish you did. But I hope you do. I hope you get to see your boyfriend soon as well.
I also want you to remember that grades are not an indication of your intelligence. So please don't be hard on yourself.
Stay safe

 

[LostInTheDream]

Anonymous Reply:
tw// body shaming
-
- idk if my weight is healthy i weight 130 pounds but my mom says im fat :/ and ever since shes said i look fat ive been eating less. i wanna be pretty. i wanna put on pretty clothes like everyone does. sometimes i starve myself i know its wrong but i used to weight 121 and the quarantine happened and i gained weight.

 

[LostInTheDream]

Anonymous Reply:
tw// body shaming
-
- idk if my weight is healthy i weight 130 pounds but my mom says im fat :/ and ever since shes said i look fat ive been eating less. i wanna be pretty. i wanna put on pretty clothes like everyone does. sometimes i starve myself i know its wrong but i used to weight 121 and the quarantine happened and i gained weight.

Whether your weight is healthy is really dependent on your height. But considering it's already such a low number, you probably aren't. Please don't listen to what your mom says about your body! The only opinion on that topic that matters is your own. You are beautiful whatever weight you are. I hope that you are able to break these bad habits. I'm a hypocrite by saying all this, but please don't starve yourself. If you really do want to lose weight for yourself then please do it safely!

 

[LostInTheDream]

TW ED
There have been a lot of posts recently about EDs and wanting to lose weight. It hurts my heart to see so many people wanting to restrict and starve themselves to hit a certain weight (even though I do the same). So as someone who is in the position where they have lost enough weight to be considered 10 lbs underweight via my eating disorder, I have some insight into the physical downsides of rapid weight loss. I figured I would post them here in hopes of deterring some of you from engaging in disordered eating.
*This won't really talk about Bulimia as I don't struggle with that. But there are also many health problems caused by it*
1. You feel cold all the time/can't get cold
I'm typing this dressed in leggings, fuzzy socks, and a sweatshirt. I am also covered by a blanket, and I am still cold. I need to take boiling baths/showers to really feel warm.
2. Lose feeling in hands and feet
My hands and feet are constantly getting numb and are cold to the touch. Right now I have pins and needles in my left hand.
3. Dizziness and seeing stars
In the morning if I get up to quickly I easily get dizzy. I will also see stars after standing up after sitting for a while.
4. Bruised spine
If you lay on any surface that isn't a cloud, then you sill get bruises on the notches of your spine. This can be very uncomfortable.
5. Gastrointestinal issues
I won't describe this one as it is gross. If you want to know just google it's impact.
6. Sore Ass
Similar to the bruised spine one, sitting will hurt. I can sit on my couch and my butt will still hurt from the pressure.
7. Headaches
When you don't eat enough your body will try to tell you to do so through things like headaches.
8. Stomach Cramps
Same thing with headaches.

I am not posting this with the aim of sympathy. I posted it to hopefully prevent users from getting into my position.
You can call me a hypocrite, but I really just want to help all of you.
If you want to talk you can always PM me!

 

[LostInTheDream]

Anonymous Reply: I don't think i can take this anymore.... I just started crying from the smallest thing. My old friend group is falling apart and we were about to hit our 1 year anniversary. I have a feeling my bsf has been lying to me about a bunch of things and i confronted her yesterday and she denied everything and i don't even know if i should believe her. Nothing makes me happy anymore. Well maybe being on this forums but that's it. I really don't wanna go through this anymore but i don't know how to end this without going through even more pain. My parents take everything from me. They've taken all my ways of contacting my friends, they took all my money (i only have $3.60 to my name), they wont even let me speak with my bsf. My friends fought a couple days ago and it ended not too well as one of them blocked me on everything cus i was trying to defend the other. i used to like one of my friends too and they liked me back... along with 3 other people so now i think from all the encounters with relationship i might just not even try anymore. those are only the few things that happened recently. I'm just gonna end it here cus its gonna be too long if i don't. Anyways thank you for reading <33

 

[lynch.]

I know exactly what you are going through, I was around your age(well 14 but still)when I got into heavily restricting and losing weight and you're right, it probably will ruin your life as you get older. As @Lost_in_the_Dream said, you are still young and as you get older your body will change and you will lose your baby fat. Please take it from two people who have been through this(myself and Tara)and don't do this to yourself. I can't speak for Tara, but I know that for myself, if I had someone giving me advice at such a young age that what I was about to do, heavy restricting, overexcercising and other dangerous methods to lose weight, was unhealthy and to not do it, I would have listened. I lost my teenage years to an eating disorder and I regret it every single day. I know there is this pressure from society that us girls and women are supposed to be stick thin, but please, please take a moment and read our advice or even reach out to one of us if you feel comfortable doing so. You're so young and your body still has so much more developing to do and it will, as you grow older. Because once you get into heavy restricting as a means to lose weight, it will stick with you even into adulthood, trust me on this. Please be safe & if you ever need someone to talk to when it comes to these things, please reach out to me or Tara, we have both been there and we know what you are going through, you are loved and you are not alone.

thank you (i was the one who wrote the reply)

 

[LostInTheDream]

thank you (i was the one who wrote the reply)

 

[anmybeloved]

TW: ED

Haha i love when i dont eat for weeks then people make comments like "wow ur eating again" like hahahahahahahahaahaahahahahaha ur so funny, 10/10 comedy.

 

[LostInTheDream]

Anonymous Post: Fucking shit i fucking hate how i'm not even excepted in my own house. I had to beg my parents for month to get a fucking piece of cloth with colors on it because thats the only way i felt i could feel valid. I'm on a school computer so theyre tracking what i say haha i fucking hate this i cant do anything without feeling watched or unsafe like do the people in the school system not realize people have fucking anxiety? Like i'm not going to feel safe if i cant say anything without feeling like the counselor will be called and i'll just be put through hell again. It's so fucking hard, its so fucking hard i just want it all to end but i know it would be selfish and stupid but i hate being alive so much, i hate being invalidated, i hate being discriminated against, i fucking hate everything.

 

[LostInTheDream]

Anonymous Post: People need to learn to not make comments about my weight or appearance, like i'll fucking starve myself for weeks because i feel fat but then when i eat my first meal in 2 months people say "wow, you're eating again" LIKE YEAH ***** WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?! FUCKING STARVE MYSELF UNTIL I DROP DEAD ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR?!

 

[LostInTheDream]

Anonymous Post: Fucking shit i fucking hate how i'm not even excepted in my own house. I had to beg my parents for month to get a fucking piece of cloth with colors on it because thats the only way i felt i could feel valid. I'm on a school computer so theyre tracking what i say haha i fucking hate this i cant do anything without feeling watched or unsafe like do the people in the school system not realize people have fucking anxiety? Like i'm not going to feel safe if i cant say anything without feeling like the counselor will be called and i'll just be put through hell again. It's so fucking hard, its so fucking hard i just want it all to end but i know it would be selfish and stupid but i hate being alive so much, i hate being invalidated, i hate being discriminated against, i fucking hate everything.

There are so many more things to live for in life. I hope one day you can make a list you can look back on during difficult times. That;s what I try to do. I'm so sorry about your home situation and how invalidated and discriminated against you feel. I wish there was something I could do about ti to help you.
Please remember you are beautiful, and it would be a horrible loss to the entire world if you did take your own life.

 

[LostInTheDream]

Anonymous Post: People need to learn to not make comments about my weight or appearance, like i'll fucking starve myself for weeks because i feel fat but then when i eat my first meal in 2 months people say "wow, you're eating again" LIKE YEAH ***** WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?! FUCKING STARVE MYSELF UNTIL I DROP DEAD ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR?!

I can relate to this and the skinny shaming.
I know you don't want to hear this, but those people probably said that because they were happy that you are eating. Please try not to consider what other people say too much if it impacts you this deeply. I hope you can eat more because you want to, not others.

 

[LostInTheDream]

Anonymous Reply: I just feel so empty. All i do is sleep and cry. What the fuck is there to live for anymore? Fucking asian boys twice my age who dont know i exist? Like, god, i just want to be happy again. Like what do i have to do to be happy, nothing is fucking working, i've been crying for the past like hour and i dont even feel sad i just feel worthless.

 

[LostInTheDream]

Anonymous Reply: i am struggling with my self-esteem terribly.. i've had anorexia for 2 years and bulimia for 9 months, and i was getting better and it suddenly shot down. it's just an endless hole of depression and anxiety. and nobody believes me either, even when i have the proper medical diagnoses from many different doctors. i lie to my therapists so they don't tell my parents, but i truly need the help. i'm tired of looking like me. i'm tired of being in the wrong body, misgendered, insulted, etc.. sometimes even compliments hurt me.., cause i know they're lying to me. i don't know what else to do.

 

[LostInTheDream]

Anonymous Reply: i am struggling with my self-esteem terribly.. i've had anorexia for 2 years and bulimia for 9 months, and i was getting better and it suddenly shot down. it's just an endless hole of depression and anxiety. and nobody believes me either, even when i have the proper medical diagnoses from many different doctors. i lie to my therapists so they don't tell my parents, but i truly need the help. i'm tired of looking like me. i'm tired of being in the wrong body, misgendered, insulted, etc.. sometimes even compliments hurt me.., cause i know they're lying to me. i don't know what else to do.

Reaching out for help is one of the hardest things to do. My advice, which you do not have to take, is to be honest with your therapist so you can receive the help. I've had to do it before and it really helped me in the long term.
I still want to tell you that even if you don't believe it, you are beautiful whichever way you are and however you define yourself.
I hope this compliment doesn't hurt you, and you believe that my words hold truth.

 

[LostInTheDream]

Anonymous Reply: TW: sxicxide . i just want to end it all. i'm already distancing myself from everybody, so how would they know if i were gone or not? i'm home alone right now, and it's such a perfect opportunity to do it and get it over with but i dont have the guts to just do it. theres something wrong with me but i cant reach out for help. i'm too scared. if i were to tell my mom she would flip out and beat me. all i want is to talk to my friend one last time but i cant even do that. fuck my life.

 

[LostInTheDream]

Anonymous Reply: TW: sxicxide . i just want to end it all. i'm already distancing myself from everybody, so how would they know if i were gone or not? i'm home alone right now, and it's such a perfect opportunity to do it and get it over with but i dont have the guts to just do it. theres something wrong with me but i cant reach out for help. i'm too scared. if i were to tell my mom she would flip out and beat me. all i want is to talk to my friend one last time but i cant even do that. fuck my life.

Please don't do what you are intending to do.
Call or text a ******* hotline if you can. You're life is worth it and many people, including myself would be upset if you ended your life.
Please stay safe