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they won't take me seriously unfortunately, i have no one to tell this to
❥--[Mental Health Support Space]
- Thread starter saaylhy
- Start date
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really? you don't have anybody....that is like an adult and actually gives a fuck about you're mental health? if you're parents are like that,i feel so bad
Try journaling. It might help
I had a mental breakdown a few hours ago, part of me feels dumb for crying to twice songs but at the same time I started thinking about my ex bf while I was doing it. I thought I was over him now but I started thinking about the fact that he still has my stuff and idk if I'll ever see him again. part of me knows that I need to get over him anyways but the other part of me knows that I shouldn't have stayed with him for as long as I did, I should've just broke up with him already after all the times he hurt my feelings by the stuff he was doing. I really don't need another bf, I already don't trust men as is and feel way more comfortable around females. It's going onto a new school year tho, so I really do need to stop thinking about him and focus on other stuff that makes me happy.
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i'm so ugly.
that is one of the biggest lies i've ever heard, ur beautiful, inside and out and don't let anyone else tell u otherwise
no you’re not. You’re literally so gorgeous, beautiful, pretty, cute, amazing and all the above. I don’t understand what you don’t see you’re literally so gorgeous ml
That is not true at all
U got this girl!!! I've been through it too. Feel free to rant if u need too.
EXCUSE ME!! Don't let anyone let u think that or drag u down
I agree with u.
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I've decided that when I upgrade my phone here in a little bit I'm going to be sending another text (in case for whatever reason she never saw my original in the first place and to give her time to message) to maybe see if she's just super busy. But its been very weird that I haven't heard from her, it's just not like her.I'm not sure if this is the right place for this but I also don't want to ask it on reddit (I'm honestly a little scared of that platform tbh), but this has been in my head for a little while and I've just been wondering about it. Long story short this girl and I have been friends for 13 years (14 in December), we went to Kindergarten together, our parents were in the same friend group and follow each other on facebook (so if she really needed to get a hold of me she defiantly could).
I know she's training to be a nurse and to get into school but over this spring and summer I just felt like she's been politely trying to shut me out, I've tried to talk with her about us being distant and if there was anything I did wrong or if me coming out to her as a WLW was maybe just a bit to much for her (as I knew she was often quiet about that stuff and didn't want her Grandma hearing about any of that if it happened to slip out of my mouth), but each time I've tried to bring it up it goes quiet.
I won't explain to much but I do deal with body issues and other stuff so I decided to move in with my Dad instead of my Mum to finish my highschool year and I can't help but wonder if this is it for us. Often times, I'm that kind of friend to send random gifts, write letters and stuff like that as during some of my darkest days I wasn't always the kindest human nor good at keeping relationships. Even during birthdays we would stay up/auto send the messages to each other so the first message you received when you woke up would be from me/us. So it just feels weird to get absolutely no response at all for Four months.
How would you take this? Is she just trying to say hey, maybe we've grown apart and so have our interests? I've always said we were best friends and I have apologized for my actions during those times which she's told me I don't have to worry about as she knew I was struggling and she didn't handle it the best either. But part of me still wants to try for this friendship you know?
But at the same point I'm also at the point in my life where I'm kinda done putting 100% into relationships and not getting treated that great either, I am so ready to start trusting people again and getting out there. I guess part of me just wants an honest and clear answer to.
Anyways, I have to go wash the berries I just picked from the garden, hopefully this is the better place to post it, I might come back to edit it so it makes a little more sense later.
I know people drift apart but its sometimes nice to know that what I'm thinking is right, even a message like 'hey you know you are right, we just haven't been as close and I think its better for us to drift apart' would put me at some kind of ease. Instead of all this worrying. I don't want to over step my boundaries or over stay my welcome if that's how she truly feels. I haven't messaged her since I made this post and still haven't heard anything, usually if she updates her number I'm one of the first she messages, even gets her parent to message mine to let me know. Its still disheartening though. Never been through something like this before
i feel so bad for telling her this....i am trying to tell myself i did the right thing,i problably did not
i hate myself for saying all those at ones
whoever u told, if it's smth she needed to know then it's better u did, dw
don't hate urself pooks, ur an amazing sweet pretty and so much more person
if you say so
yeah no
i want to cry but i genuinely can not. I miss my dad and all but i don't want to see or talk to him. like i know if i do i'm js gonna get even more hurt than i already am. it's his birthday in a few days and i don't know if i should send him something or something. like i want to at the same time i don't. i don't want him to take it as a opportunity to talk to me cause i don't want to talk to him. he's gonna start questioning and all that shit and i'm scared to do all of that. i'm scared of him and i feel weak and vulnerable. if looks can kill he can definitely kill me with it. with all the shit that's happening i feel like i'm losing myself again. it feels harder to just act ok when i'm really not. i know it's unhealthy and all that but i can't get myself to cry and be vulnerable in front of people. and with all the shit i'm hearing and going through at the moment i think i'm only going to get worse. it feels weird and i kinda just want to lock myself up in a room and cry it all out. but i know i can't and i hate it. i want to scream and cry but i don't want to at the same time. i'm so confused and it hurts to even think about all the shit my dad's done and is currently doing, and now he might cancel on the india trip he promised he'll let us go to. and to add on to that i have so many ppl telling me, that one person isn't worth me but i feel like i'm not worth that one person. people keep telling me that bro's a player and that i should end it and shit maybe i should, maybe it's getting to the point it's getting toxic, at this point i don't know. every time i'm happy i feel like i don't deserve to be happy and that my chest is constricted, i keep finding it hard to breath every time it happens and i tend to keep it away from everyone. i'm losing my appetite again and i don't want to eat and i kinda stopped eating as well. i should probably tell my mum but she's already got so much on her platter i don't want to add on to it. i broke for the first time in months when my mum showed me that one video from my dad's suprise birthday party last year. i don't know why i cried when i saw it, i just did. it was when we were doing better and was one as a family. it hurts alot to be honest. i'm confused and don't know what to feel about anything. i want to give up on everything and just stay in my room hidden away from the world but i know that's just not possible. i feel like i'm worthless and unlovable even though i know it's prolly not true, but what if it is. will i be able to take it. i don't know the answer to that either. i keep hearing shit in my head and it's getting harder to act happy and fine when i truly know i'm none of that sort. i don't want to do anything, i kinda just... honestly i don't know. i don't want to be a burden to my friends irl, or on here. i don't want to be an issue to anyone but i feel like i am. it just feels like i'm the cause of people's problems and i think i keep pulling people into it. i feel like a hypocrite giving people advice and all but not being able to follow it myself. i'm trying to stop these feelings and all but it only makes me shit trying. i feel stupid for even thinking i'm worth it sometimes. life's getting harder and harder and honestly i don't know how to live anymore. i want to make my family proud but even though they say they are i feel like they're actually disppointed in the inside. i think i'm just being to sensitive and childish and but really am i? i don't know. it's getting to the point where i feel like a broken useless being. i want a break from all of it but i know it's not gonna happen.
I cried myself to sleep again after months, i was going fine until my mum compared me to my dad. i've told her many times not to do that but ofc she didn't want to listen. there's a limit to how much i can put up with it. yeah i love my dad and all but that doesn't mean i want to be compared. and when i told her, she just said "oh it's just the truth." no it fucking isn't. i hate that shit so damn much. i don't say that shit when u act like him, bc ik u don't like it. i don't even talk abt him in front of her. if it was my younger sibs u wouldn't do it, then why are u doing it to me. why are u saying i'm like him when i'm not. and to make things worse, u had to fucking yell at me for nothing. i don't want this shit, leave me alone when i need it, but no u fucking won't, just bc ur my mum doesn't mean u have the right to do everything and anything u want to do to me. and now u want to take my money i worked for. just bc u don't 'trust' me. like shut ur ***** ass up, yk u js want to do random shit with it. and it's not even for me. u want to do stuff with my money for my sibs. i want to save that money to get some shit for myself,
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sad again