on friday i was crying so much, my eyes were red and i was basically hyperventilating and i had to cry myself to sleep
it all started because i was telling my mom about my concerns about school and she’s really the only one i feel comfortable talking to about that and then she started laughing which didn’t make me feel good. i told her to stop being like that, then she asked “being like what?” and then i told her to stop laughing and then after a bit of going back and forth she said “try laughing, it makes everything better” and then i didn’t like the way she said that and literally gave her a death stare while i was still crying and i basically told her to be serious and she said she will never be serious and she won’t change just because of how i feel
then i ran to my room and tried to cry myself to sleep and she told me to start cleaning my room so i did but then she started saying to my siblings that i think that she is a bad mom which i never said. all i said was that we both have issues which is true, and then she told me to stop crying and i tried telling her that i just wanted her to do something and then she said “what am i supposed to do? care?” and then i just immediately crying after that because the only thing i want from my mom is comfort like motherly love
i think deep down inside i just want to be comforted by and be pampered by anyone at this point since my mom isn’t providing any type of emotional support
she then told me that i stress her out because she is still getting over her mom’s death
and then i felt bad so yesterday i bought her a gift and she was so happy
i felt good about giving her a gift but then my sister asked me “why did you buy her a gift if she’s the one who made you cry?”
and then i woke up to a text message from my mom saying “i love you
” yeah that text message was nice but idk if she means it
