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okay sorry guys- but i'm just gonna vent right here and now.
tw: transphobia nd weight/body shaming??
tw: transphobia nd weight/body shaming??
well recently my father has been shaming me for being trans male, but my aunt doesn't she supports me so much and actually calls me clay (not my deadname) and my preferred pronouns (he/him but they/them is okay but also he/him is better) so one day we were at my grandma's house celebrating something and my dad says something with my deadname and my aunt chimes in and says "hey that's not their name- it's clay not XXXXXXXX" <--(deadname) then he says "oh really? well she isn't clay at home and she is clay at school" like are you stupid- this isn't our house nd plus i told both of my parents that i can be called she/her and my deadname only at home cause of my autistic brother. anyways and so my aunt goes, "but we're out of YOUR house sooo clay it is-" then he interrupts nd says "nope, not how this works" and then my aunt finally gave up cause she was pissed and LET ME REMIND YOU- this whole argument was in the common room infront OF MY WHOLE FAMILY. this is another reason my self-esteem is so low and why i feel like shit/crap everyday-
now for my step she basically called me (and my sibling) fat- like wtf?? you aren't supposed to do that to your child- esp when the child is already insecure about their body or insecure in general. so like we were eating some noodles and she handed me a bowl of noodles (chili) and she said finish the bowl off which i did, but i was still hungry and so me and my sibling got another bowl and finished it off too. now there is a lillte bit left of the noodles but we have more we can make anytime which will take up to at least 10-15 mins to make. which isn't bad, so she comes in the kitchen while we were rinsing our dishes in the sink and she checks the noodles and shoots us a nasty look. then she says "why you guys finish off the noodles?! i gave you guys a good size bowl for a reason(no it wasn't) so you guys wouldn't get another bowl!" then i look at her and say "no you didn't" like idk what's the problem, you can just make more noodlles, geez. my step mom then says "yes i did! you guys eat too much, like i would be full after that bowl of noodles." like yeah cause you struggle of gaining weight and you don't eat much food- (not trying to come off as rude- im just pissed) sooo yeah, now i feel like shit- i mean even before i did but i feel worse. also i'm getting more irritated/pissed off easily these past days.
now for my step she basically called me (and my sibling) fat- like wtf?? you aren't supposed to do that to your child- esp when the child is already insecure about their body or insecure in general. so like we were eating some noodles and she handed me a bowl of noodles (chili) and she said finish the bowl off which i did, but i was still hungry and so me and my sibling got another bowl and finished it off too. now there is a lillte bit left of the noodles but we have more we can make anytime which will take up to at least 10-15 mins to make. which isn't bad, so she comes in the kitchen while we were rinsing our dishes in the sink and she checks the noodles and shoots us a nasty look. then she says "why you guys finish off the noodles?! i gave you guys a good size bowl for a reason(no it wasn't) so you guys wouldn't get another bowl!" then i look at her and say "no you didn't" like idk what's the problem, you can just make more noodlles, geez. my step mom then says "yes i did! you guys eat too much, like i would be full after that bowl of noodles." like yeah cause you struggle of gaining weight and you don't eat much food- (not trying to come off as rude- im just pissed) sooo yeah, now i feel like shit- i mean even before i did but i feel worse. also i'm getting more irritated/pissed off easily these past days.
