Tysm! Iโll definitely remember if I want to rant <33I feel ya. Being an only child I get blamed for most of the stuff that I didn't even do. Ur not alone. We're all here for u. Feel free to rant. My dm is always open
โฅ--[Mental Health Support Space]
- Thread starter saaylhy
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I really need a break from my life. it's getting to the point where i feel suffocated in my own home, i'd do anything to get the hell away from home even if it's just for a little bit. i keep getting called selfish if i start talking about myself in a situation at home. like i don't see how talking about how i feel about something and my mental health is selfish. my mum goes on about how she cares about me and wants to know everything. but it's her actions that make me not trust her and not wanna tell her things. like if ur gonna say something don't be so hypocritical about it. every time i end up in an argument with her, she throws in everything about how i'm being selfish not thinking about her feelings. well i can't keep shutting up about how i feel about something. it's affecting me in so many ways and i can't even focus for long. i feel like i'm not worth being happy or love or anything of the sorts. it's hard to not cry or have random panic attacks. i don't want to normalise having panic attacks. it hurts a hella much. every time i try to bring up even the tiniest thing about my mental health it's like it's the biggest mistake and sin ever. she does something and i get blamed for it. like it's not even my fault. you'd rather starve me then get me some food or something, i was busy with school work and you know that. i don't want to end up in tears after every argument. it's like every thing i do is wrong. like literally i do something she will start on how bad it is and find some kind of fault in it. if i made a mistake i will apologise, if it's the best of my ability i try even harder to make it better. i get fairly good grades. i support u as much as i damn can. i look after the kids when u are tired or need a break. i sort the shit that u need to sort out cause ur physically tired or can not do it cause of how much it affects u. like how can you not understand that i need a break. i don't want to cry myself to sleep every night. i don't want to deal with the shit i'm dealing with now. i'm physically scared of going out in case i end up meeting my father and ur not helping. and you know that, but it's not like u care. u never did. if u had u wouldn't have told me i was just a plain option to u or that u regret having me. ik i make mistakes but i'm only 14. there's a limit to what i can do. i can't always meet ur expectations but u don't have to make me feel like a fucking disappointment every time i fail to meet it. i do whatever i can but it's never good enough. it's getting tiring. living life is like a chore. i hate it. i'm slowly breaking and it's only getting worse for me. there's a limit to how much my friends understand and there's a limit to what my friends can do. i can't keep burdening them with the shit u do to me. you were fucking pissed of at me bc i didn't tell u were was going to the bus stop to catch the bus to SCHOOL, like i do EVERY MORNING. like it's not that much of a big deal and u were the one who was pissed of at me and all mad and wanted space. u were the one who acted like u hated me. u were the one who makes me the villain in every one of ur stories. ur the one that puts the blame on me for something i didn't do, ur the one that get's me to cover for u. at this point ur not much different to my father, the only difference is that ur not scary compared to him. i can't keep playing parent for my younger sibs and i can't keep shutting about how i feel. if u can say shit about how u feel then so can i. but it's not like u care. u never have. it's enough for u if i mention the tiniest thing. u expect me to listen to everything u say or listen to u rant but u can't be bothered when it's about me. you keep hating me for no real reason. it's getting harder to act like i'm fine. it's so bad and ur the one who kept keeping me away. ur the one who didn't want to be in talking terms with me, so why blame for that. it's not my damn problem.
I really get what u mean. i get it everyday
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i hate, hate, HATE myself so much
Why ?? 
I pulled out some of my hair because I started stressing myself out, I'm bad at school and last year I never wanted to really ask for help because I was nervous. I feel like I'll never end up actually understanding anything, I already struggle enough as is with everything and my mind is always all over the place
I HATE THIS
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im here for uu
pls don't give up
it's hard not to but I feel like giving up all the time
pookie if wanna vent js pm me okk?
why do i even miss you? its not like you care about me anyways....
i like seriously need to stop throwing up my food
idk how much longer i can do this
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My ex-bestie told all her friends that happen to also be MY friends that sheโs was crying bcuz of me, now theyโre all ignoring me. But this is sort of my fault. I stayed as her friend even tho she ignored me and wouldnโt let me be w/ other ppl. But then I moved to a new group of ppl, but bcuz my ex-bestie told them lies and spread rumours abt them, and turned them against eachother. My friends argued everyday. I watch them change. In the end, they didnโt know who to believe, and split in half. 2 ppl on one side, one on the other. I was in between. My ex-bestie started giving me ADVICE on what to do. Like bro, U ARE THE FLIPPING REASON IโM IN THIS SITUATION! I stayed w/ her WAYYY too long, she wonโt leave me alone. I told her weโre js friends and not besties anymore after she apologised a month-ish ago. But itโs still getting worse. One day, sheโs nice, the next, turning all my friends against me. I hate myself for letting this happen. I stood by and WATCHED, I knew she was telling lies to my friends, but I didnโt know how to TELL them. After today, I js feel like crying tbh
Girl. the exact same thing happened to me when i was still in the same high-school. like my friend told all my other friends that i was talking about them behind their back and none of the believed me when i told them she was just lying. practically the entire year group hates me now.
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Oh Iโm so sorry. Are u still in the same schl as them?