Gah the struggle is real. I've been so unsure about anything regarding my identity for so so long and I still do in a way and this is definitely one of the main things. I've always hated my body and it tooka while to find out it was dysphoria just because of how transphobic my family is, also one of the reasons I'll probably be too scared to really come out, since we're so close as a family and I'm scared to lose that.
And then, I'm not even sure what exactly I feel like. I feel really good with they/them and I'm so happy that a lot earlier friends have accustomed to that. And just generally feel so happy when people online use it, because my irl live is constantly hitting me in the face with dysphoria. But also, when people aren't sure what to refer to me as and use the "norm" and use he/him, I also kind of feel happy. So I feel good with both they and he, especially because I just absolutely hate anything feminin and want to be also seen as more masculine, if that makes sense?
I remember putting a long-term irl friend in a gc with some online friends, but what I really appreciated is how my friend used they/them when refering to me, and I never even got the courage to actively come out to my irls, he just saw it on my Twitter.
And it's not that I was scared of someone being transphobic, etc., since our group had like ever lgbt member imaginable at one point, but it was the fear of having to, I don't know, explain? The fear of thinking they would judge me for changing it so late in my life, how can I tell them that I always felt this way, but just never knew what exactly? And then I realized, that friends don't care about that and will just go along with it like always.
And honestly, this all brings me to my #1 advice: It is NEVER too late or too early to start questioning or being sure of what you identifies as. And what also is totally normal is experimenting with what pronouns to use, I mean you have to find out somehow how comfortable you feel when referred to with different pronouns. Gender is such a messed up and complicated thing, we're all going through it