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K-fan_2003

𝐿𝑜𝑜𝓀 𝒷𝒶𝒸𝓀 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓈𝓂𝒾𝓁𝑒, 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝓌𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒𝓈
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Chocolate Cupcake
the one person i want to talk to never has time for me
he never can find the time to talk to me
it's been 3 months since he's called me for longer than 5 minutes
he always answers my messages a few days late
he always is busy calling his other friends
he always is doing something else that he can't call me while doing
and if something happened to me, he would say "sorry, can't talk right now"
but will be right on top of it if something were to happen to any of his discord friends
one time i called him crying because that was the 2nd time that i had attempted
"can't talk right now Abby, i'm talking to my gf"
and hung up on me without letting me say anything more
i think he just doesn't wanna talk to me anymore
and he's just tired of me and my problems
and at this point it hurts so bad i just want to scream and punch a billion holes in my wall
because he said he would always be there for me
he said he would never leave my side
he said he would always be able to talk to me if i needed it
but now he's so distant
and now im alone again
i just want to feel loved again
but he obviously doesn't need to feel loved by me
because he has his other friends he's known for a few months that he would die for
and then he has me, who he's known for 9 years.. but that's not important, right?
again, he's probably just tired of me.
he probably wouldn't wanna be around me bcause i'm such an unstable person
and all i ever wanna do is lay in bed and cry
i just hope that one day
my body gives out from lack of food
and i don't wake up.
and im sure that nobody would notice or believe it.
"don't worry about her, she's just faking it for attention."
He is not the right person hun, in time you will see that your beautiful and amazing. Anyone would be lucky to know you. I believe you and i love you as my friend.
 

LostInTheDream

🧚IᑎᗩᑕTIᐯE🧚
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the one person i want to talk to never has time for me
he never can find the time to talk to me
it's been 3 months since he's called me for longer than 5 minutes
he always answers my messages a few days late
he always is busy calling his other friends
he always is doing something else that he can't call me while doing
and if something happened to me, he would say "sorry, can't talk right now"
but will be right on top of it if something were to happen to any of his discord friends
one time i called him crying because that was the 2nd time that i had attempted
"can't talk right now Abby, i'm talking to my gf"
and hung up on me without letting me say anything more
i think he just doesn't wanna talk to me anymore
and he's just tired of me and my problems
and at this point it hurts so bad i just want to scream and punch a billion holes in my wall
because he said he would always be there for me
he said he would never leave my side
he said he would always be able to talk to me if i needed it
but now he's so distant
and now im alone again
i just want to feel loved again
but he obviously doesn't need to feel loved by me
because he has his other friends he's known for a few months that he would die for
and then he has me, who he's known for 9 years.. but that's not important, right?
again, he's probably just tired of me.
he probably wouldn't wanna be around me bcause i'm such an unstable person
and all i ever wanna do is lay in bed and cry
i just hope that one day
my body gives out from lack of food
and i don't wake up.
and im sure that nobody would notice or believe it.
"don't worry about her, she's just faking it for attention."
I'm so sorry that this is your situation right now. I would say forget the guy, but I don't really have the right to, as I don't know your relationship.
I hope that if you do stick him with that he sees the error in his ways and begins to treat you the way you should.
Please stay strong and remember that you are loved and your life is precious. 💜💜
 

K-fan_2003

𝐿𝑜𝑜𝓀 𝒷𝒶𝒸𝓀 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓈𝓂𝒾𝓁𝑒, 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝓌𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒𝓈
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I am going through a messy break up with my ex, his friends keep telling me everything he is up too. They came to my house and were drinking and kept telling me kyler did this kyler did that.....they dint realize it makes it harder to forget about him when they kee talking. I dont like him anymore but it still hurts that I wasn’t good enough. Also at home no matter what i do it’s always wrong and disrespectful. Then, we got fake friends being fake as hell
Its just hard to deal with parents but other that that i am okie
 

GowonMINT(locked out of other)

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I bet Rosé's solo will hit me hard. In the teaser the words already hit me. And when i was on Jennie and Jisoo's insta they were so pretty I was jealous ;_; I mean I'm always jealous of them anyway lol
I went to therapy again . I lied to her. She told my mom that there was nothing wrong with me then my mom said all this crazy shit. (Some true) and the therapist got me to tell her EVERYTHING (I still prefer Tara as my therapist but oh well) I have clinical depression 😘✌. And I have a professional has diagnosed with social anxiety. And my mom lashed out on the lady and said I was doing it foe attention. So, it feels like my life is ending. Ice and a pillow doesn't help but you can say so.
 
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Love_alize071313

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I bet Rosé's solo will hit me hard. In the teaser the words already hit me. And when i was on Jennie and Jisoo's insta they were so pretty I was jealous ;_; I mean I'm always jealous of them anyway lol
I went to therapy again . I lied to her. She told my mom that there was nothing wrong with me then my mom said all this crazy shit. (Some true) and the therapist got me to tell her EVERYTHING (I still prefer Tara as my therapist but oh well) I have clinical depression 😘✌. And I have a professional has diagnosed with social anxiety. And my mom lashed out on the lady and said I was doing it foe attention. So, it feels like my life is ending. Ice and a pillow doesn't help but you can say so.
How unsupportive can sm1 be? Doesnt she realize that you don't pretend to have those and she'll just make it worse, which sounds like she has already
 

lynch.

NOT EVEN GHOSTS ARE THIS EMPTY
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I bet Rosé's solo will hit me hard. In the teaser the words already hit me. And when i was on Jennie and Jisoo's insta they were so pretty I was jealous ;_; I mean I'm always jealous of them anyway lol
I went to therapy again . I lied to her. She told my mom that there was nothing wrong with me then my mom said all this crazy shit. (Some true) and the therapist got me to tell her EVERYTHING (I still prefer Tara as my therapist but oh well) I have clinical depression 😘✌. And I have a professional has diagnosed with social anxiety. And my mom lashed out on the lady and said I was doing it foe attention. So, it feels like my life is ending. Ice and a pillow doesn't help but you can say so.
i hope you dont take offense to this but your mother is doing a horrible job as a parent if she's trying to tell a literal professional that you are faking it for attention. Make sure to stay safe <3
 

GowonMINT(locked out of other)

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is she lying? Does she really want to be friends?
Why do I think she's lying.
She's a nice person why am I being like this?
I don't deserve her.
It did work last time but I had to.
I haven't told you everything, you'll think I'm lying or I'm crazy.
"Pick up the card that will save me"
You don't have to die. People love you they say. I don't care, its not true.
How do I deal with this?
Even if I tell you it won't fix it.
Lies and lies fill my head.
People in my head, "kill yourself" I want to put them on mute. But there's no mute button or no way out of the call.
End my pain, someone.
I just feel like you can't here me. Can't you tell? Im broken, inside and out.
I have been screaming for help for 3 years. But my screams weren't loud enough or no one would listen.

Is he who he says? Is it a game?
The voices only say that I'm nothing. That I'm hated by everyone. And I'm starting to believe them. Please take me away from those voices.
I can't handle it anymore, they are taking over me I have no strength to fight back.

I haven't said everything that bothers me, but here I go before I need to get it out.
I bang my head to feel something, I cut my wrists to feel something. I take all those pills so I can feel OKAY. But I know its not Okay. I'm always scared everyone's going to leave me, and stop caring. You can't tell me that's not true. I will always agree and do what others say I'm scared if I say "No" they won't like me. I fear everyone is judging me behind my back. And they are. I want to lay in the sea, and just go under. With no hesitations.


"Your stupid" "Kill yourself" "They don't like you" is what they say. Everyday. I am still screaming fot help. "I'm okay. Hbu?" I say. I'm not okay. I'm happy for you, well at least thats what you see.I'm 75lbs. I haven't ate in forever but it doesn't bother me. Am I pretty now? I'm skinny, isn't that what you wanted?
You would ignore my and I didn't think much of it. But you ignoree me at my lowest time. You didn't even ask how school was.

Be more like them! What if I don't want to be like that? What if i want to be me? Aren't I good enough? "Your not good enough" okay... I believe you.
"Fat" "They hate you" "Kill yourself" I hear it everyday and it is true. Its very true.
 

red riot114

Maknae
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1X1=1 (To Be One)
Yunho
Jongho
JinJin
the one person i want to talk to never has time for me
he never can find the time to talk to me
it's been 3 months since he's called me for longer than 5 minutes
he always answers my messages a few days late
he always is busy calling his other friends
he always is doing something else that he can't call me while doing
and if something happened to me, he would say "sorry, can't talk right now"
but will be right on top of it if something were to happen to any of his discord friends
one time i called him crying because that was the 2nd time that i had attempted
"can't talk right now Abby, i'm talking to my gf"
and hung up on me without letting me say anything more
i think he just doesn't wanna talk to me anymore
and he's just tired of me and my problems
and at this point it hurts so bad i just want to scream and punch a billion holes in my wall
because he said he would always be there for me
he said he would never leave my side
he said he would always be able to talk to me if i needed it
but now he's so distant
and now im alone again
i just want to feel loved again
but he obviously doesn't need to feel loved by me
because he has his other friends he's known for a few months that he would die for
and then he has me, who he's known for 9 years.. but that's not important, right?
again, he's probably just tired of me.
he probably wouldn't wanna be around me bcause i'm such an unstable person
and all i ever wanna do is lay in bed and cry
i just hope that one day
my body gives out from lack of food
and i don't wake up.
and im sure that nobody would notice or believe it.
"don't worry about her, she's just faking it for attention."
i relate to this so much why...?
 

red riot114

Maknae
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1X1=1 (To Be One)
Yunho
Jongho
JinJin
is she lying? Does she really want to be friends?
Why do I think she's lying.
She's a nice person why am I being like this?
I don't deserve her.
It did work last time but I had to.
I haven't told you everything, you'll think I'm lying or I'm crazy.
"Pick up the card that will save me"
You don't have to die. People love you they say. I don't care, its not true.
How do I deal with this?
Even if I tell you it won't fix it.
Lies and lies fill my head.
People in my head, "kill yourself" I want to put them on mute. But there's no mute button or no way out of the call.
End my pain, someone.
I just feel like you can't here me. Can't you tell? Im broken, inside and out.
I have been screaming for help for 3 years. But my screams weren't loud enough or no one would listen.

Is he who he says? Is it a game?
The voices only say that I'm nothing. That I'm hated by everyone. And I'm starting to believe them. Please take me away from those voices.
I can't handle it anymore, they are taking over me I have no strength to fight back.

I haven't said everything that bothers me, but here I go before I need to get it out.
I bang my head to feel something, I cut my wrists to feel something. I take all those pills so I can feel OKAY. But I know its not Okay. I'm always scared everyone's going to leave me, and stop caring. You can't tell me that's not true. I will always agree and do what others say I'm scared if I say "No" they won't like me. I fear everyone is judging me behind my back. And they are. I want to lay in the sea, and just go under. With no hesitations.


"Your stupid" "Kill yourself" "They don't like you" is what they say. Everyday. I am still screaming fot help. "I'm okay. Hbu?" I say. I'm not okay. I'm happy for you, well at least thats what you see.I'm 75lbs. I haven't ate in forever but it doesn't bother me. Am I pretty now? I'm skinny, isn't that what you wanted?
You would ignore my and I didn't think much of it. But you ignoree me at my lowest time. You didn't even ask how school was.

Be more like them! What if I don't want to be like that? What if i want to be me? Aren't I good enough? "Your not good enough" okay... I believe you.
"Fat" "They hate you" "Kill yourself" I hear it everyday and it is true. Its very true.
All my love is gone. N̶o̶w̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶d̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶o̶n̶e̶ now I'm dead and gone
I-.....relate......
 

red riot114

Maknae
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So many of you know me (not know me know me but yall talk to me) so some of yall can relate to me when i say it gets hard to smile or pretend that your ok. it always has been but the thing is the more you say it the more you start to believe it... I pretend that im happy since i can tell them why im upset or explain it. not because i dont want. not because im worried (yeah but thats another story) no
its because THEY wont let me. any time i try to scream out for help or say "im not fine! dont listen to me!' they stop me before i could......
the trapped me inside my own mind
"stupid"
"worthless"
"he doesnt love you"
"did you really think he will love you after you said you want to be a boy?"
"You should just end it"
"they dont care they never did"
"and why would they? your just a pathetic. worthless. waste. of . SPACE"
"fat"
"ugly"
"you should lose weight u look like a pig"

and there right. why would he want to date a freak like me?
they dont care they never do. maybe i am a waste of space.
now a days i cry in my sleep. thats normal
but whenever someone ask me "are you okay?"
I want to tell them im not im screaming out for help. why cant you hear me?!
they always whisper "they don't care"
"even if they did, they just going to think ur doing this for attention just like ur dad did"
...."No im fine just didnt get enough sleep last night"
Let me out. i dont wanna be in here.
i scream.
beg.
cry for help. but did anyone hear me?

of course not.
they never do
now im just trapped inside my prison in my mind surrounded by my fears and demons and the one who is keeping me here....


...sorry just had to get that out...
 

anmybeloved

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I'm alone..... I keep zoning out, I need her, I don't want to be alone, it's too hard, don't leave me, please, I'm not in the right mental space to be alone but I know you're not in the right mental space to be in a relationship and it's so hard and I need you but your mental health is more important anyway so I'll make it through, to be with you, to not be alone, I'll try and try to stay strong until your mentally ready to continue our relationship, if that day comes. EXXXXXXXa, I'll wait for you, I want you to be mentally okay and mentally ready but I'm not mentally okay or mentally ready to be alone, I've known you since December of 2018, dated you since June of 2019, I'm not used to being alone, I'm used to you being by my since, I don't know what I will do without you, it's just you helped me so much, helped me stop s/h, helped me survive, helped me recover, but now I'm alone, I relapsed, I'm barely surviving and I'm not recovering. I need you, I sound so selfish but I can't make it alone, please Exx, please
 

red riot114

Maknae
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I'm alone..... I keep zoning out, I need her, I don't want to be alone, it's too hard, don't leave me, please, I'm not in the right mental space to be alone but I know you're not in the right mental space to be in a relationship and it's so hard and I need you but your mental health is more important anyway so I'll make it through, to be with you, to not be alone, I'll try and try to stay strong until your mentally ready to continue our relationship, if that day comes. EXXXXXXXa, I'll wait for you, I want you to be mentally okay and mentally ready but I'm not mentally okay or mentally ready to be alone, I've known you since December of 2018, dated you since June of 2019, I'm not used to being alone, I'm used to you being by my since, I don't know what I will do without you, it's just you helped me so much, helped me stop s/h, helped me survive, helped me recover, but now I'm alone, I relapsed, I'm barely surviving and I'm not recovering. I need you, I sound so selfish but I can't make it alone, please Exx, please
idk if this helps.....
my dm are open if u need someone to talk to until they come back or is ready to come back
 

lynch.

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right now im supposed to be practicing and sending in a video of me playing my part for band and i cant focus because my grandma is always yelling at my brother and they wont stop when i ask them to and im literally in tears because i can't focus to save my fucking life and i'm failing band because i can never practice because my stupid fucking grandma and my dipshit fucking brother never stop yelling at eachother and whenever i ask them to be quiet and stop yelling MY GRANDMA GETS ON MY FUCKING CASE AND YELLS AT ME FOR BEING NOSY WHY IS MY LIFE LIKE THIS I FUCKING HATE THIS PLACE
THEY NEVER FUCKING STOP HOLY SHIT
 

K-fan_2003

𝐿𝑜𝑜𝓀 𝒷𝒶𝒸𝓀 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓈𝓂𝒾𝓁𝑒, 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝓌𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒𝓈
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Chocolate Cupcake
right now im supposed to be practicing and sending in a video of me playing my part for band and i cant focus because my grandma is always yelling at my brother and they wont stop when i ask them to and im literally in tears because i can't focus to save my fucking life and i'm failing band because i can never practice because my stupid fucking grandma and my dipshit fucking brother never stop yelling at eachother and whenever i ask them to be quiet and stop yelling MY GRANDMA GETS ON MY FUCKING CASE AND YELLS AT ME FOR BEING NOSY WHY IS MY LIFE LIKE THIS I FUCKING HATE THIS PLACE
THEY NEVER FUCKING STOP HOLY SHIT
I am so sorry hunny.
 
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