It was a normal day for you. Your stepmom, Gowon, was cooking meth in the kitchen while you, dressed in a potato sack because you're so poor (UWU), get ready for your first day of high school. Your room is a storage closet because your mom uses all the rest of the rooms are for your stepsister-- Tzuyu. Your stepsister got everything-- she was prettier than you, richer than you, and so much more popular than you. The worst thing of all though was that she had the boy of your dreams-- Yang Hyun Suk-- all to herself!!!
You brush your ratty, shit-colored hair and put on a beanie because you aren't like other girls. It was another day for you-- you would probably have to deal the meth your stepmom was cooking on the streets because that's the only way you can afford school, or maybe you'd get beat up by Tzuyu and her friends Jennie and Lisa!!!!! You hated your life. You hated everything.
"I just wanted to remind you that I think you're ugly, Y/N!!!" Screeched your stepmom in the kitchen.
"I know what I am but what are you?" You hiss back, trying not to cry. You got out of your room, and stormed out of the house.
"Wait a minute!" Called out your stepmom, Gowon. You re-enter the house, fuming.
"What?!" You scream at her furiously. She cracks a wicked grin.
"Missing something?" She asks, holding up a heroin needle in her hand. Your stepmother loved to inject heroin in you. She wanted to kill you through an overdose-- but somehow, you haven't died yet.
You pout as you amble over to her. She injects the needle in your wrist, and then plants a hot, stinky kiss on your forehead. "I hate you," she purrs softly.
"Burn in hell," you seethe back. You readjust your potato sack dress, and strut out of the house feeling like a boss! What a savage moment, Y/N!11111!!!11
Because you are so poor, you have to walk to school-- which was ten miles away. Your stepsister got to ride a Ferrari because she was so popular that they gave it to her for free. She was so lucky, and you-- well, not so much. Your parents killed themselves after Pristin disbanded, leaving you to live with your dad's secret mistress and daughter!
You were walking on the sidewalk when Tzuyu drives up to you, with her friends Jennie, Lisa, and-- YG OPPAR?!!!
She cackles as she looks at your poor, disgusting figure. "You look poor as ever," she cackles wickedly-- staring your bone-thin body down.
"The zoo called, you're due back by 6!" You snip at her. Tzuyu's beautiful, pearl-white face went red and an awkward silence went over. The only sound was YG oppar's slight laughter at your lit comeback!!! He winked at you.
You felt your whole body melt. Tzuyu noticed this, and ran you over with her car!!! She was such a jealous *****!!!!
As the car was crushing your insides, you felt at peace. You would finally die-- and finally get to see Pristin again!!! You felt so happy, so relieved to be dead. But you weren't.
It must've been the heroin that kept you alive, because you immediately woke up on the sidewalk with skid marks all over you. You screamed in anguish! You wanted to die, but you guessed life was just disappointing you as always. You sadly walk to school, your potato sack dress torn and ripped.
Once you arrive at school, the biggest bully in the school-- Min Yoongi-- corners you with his friends Johnny and Kai. "Hey Y/N!" He sneers scarily. You gulp, both turned on and scared of him. He eases his way towards you, his breath reeking of fish and J-Hope's body odor. "I see you haven't changed much! Weirdo!"
"I'm not weird," you smirk. "I'm a limited edition. Something you don’t see that often." Kai and Johnny gasped at your amazing roast. You were definitely not like other girls.
Yoongi was furious, and grabbed a water bottle and clubbed you against the head with it. "Shut up Y/N!" He screams at you as you fall to the ground, dazed and afraid. "Because of this, you have to do my homework every day until graduation!"
"What about me?" Asks Kai friskily.
"Yeah, me too," purses Johnny.
"Them too!" Barks Yoongi. "Now you get to class, Y/N. I wouldn't want anyone else to notice your ugly dress!". You start to cry, and naruto run over to your first class.
Your teacher, Mr. Jackson Wang, laughed at your ugly dress. "Ugly *****!" He smirks. The whole class erupts with laughter. In the back of the room, Tzuyu flips you off. "Now go to your seat, right between Tzuyu and Yang Hyun Suk." You gasp! You're sitting right next to the hottest guy in school-- and some stupid ass ***** that ran you over with her car?? Maybe you should be alive, you think to yourself.
As Mr. Wang started talking about math and stuff, you started to stare at YG oppar's bleak, lifeless eyes. He stared back to you-- his flabby cheeks glistening against the classroom's fluorescent lights.
"Hey, Y/N," he whispers seductively. His raccoon-like face glistens as he speak.
"Hey daddy," you accidentally whisper back. Except, you didn't whisper-- and the whole class heard you!!!
"What did you say, Y/N?" Shouted Mr. Wang.
"Nothing!" You scream horrifiedly. The whole class laughs at you.
"I think she said 'hey daddy'," snitched Tzuyu. Mr. Wang looked at you and blushed.
OmO does he sarang me!!!!!?!??!?!? You think to yourself.
"I was wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don’t show?' You clap back savagely. The whole class oohs at your awesome burn!
"DETENTION NOW!" Roars Jackson. You start to cry, but at the same time, you are awoken by your smexy teacher.
"Yes, daddy," you hiss. You dab, and default dance out of the classroom. What an epic moment1!!1111!!!!!!
Your principal, Mr. Kim Namjoon, stares at you seductively as you enter his office. He was your mom's brother, but you just couldn't help to be attracted to your uncle's man tiddies.
"So I've heard you've been a bad girl?" He growls.
"Yes, uncle-sir," you reply playfully. He presses his man tiddies against you. It's finally going to happen! You exclaim to yourself. You would finally get to sleep with your hot uncle who also is your principal.
"Well, I guess you have to be punished," he replies back. "I'm sending you to work at a strip club." WHAT?!
"I don't want to work there!" You scream, tears flowing down your ragged, muddy face.
"You have no choice," he hisses. "Your new bosses are me, Mr. Yang Hyun Suk, and Mr. Jackson Wang!".
You're now a stripper working for your sexy uncle, your hot teacher, and the sexiest man alive-- Mr. YG OPPAHR?!!!!!!!!111!!! See what happens next! Plus, what ever happened with Yoongi and his crew?
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT PART OF THE SAUCIEST FANFICTION ON K-PROFILES!
Part Two: I'm a Stripper for who?!!!!?!?!?!?!?1!??!?!/!
"So you're telling me I'm a stripper,,, working for you, YG OPPAHR, and Mr. Wang?!!!!!1!"!!" You scream at your sexy uncle, Namjoon. He nods, rolling his eyes at you because you were so dumb.
You are fuming. "Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you’ll find your brain back there!" You screech awesomely. You were so quirky, so witty, and so not like other girls.
Namjoon oppahr is furious that you just epicly roasted him. He grabs you with his baby-sized hands, and throws you against the wall. You, being so poor and malnourished, went straight through the wall and into~~ Mr. Wang's classroom???
You land with a thud right in the center of the class. Everyone turns and looks at you in shock. In the corner of the room, your evil step-sister, Tzuyu, laughs at you with her friends Lisa and Jennie.
"What are you doing here Y/N?!!!" Shouts Mr. Wang seductively at you. You can hear the desire in his voice, his excitement to see you in his room. But he had to act cool, hide the fact that you were going to be a stripper working for him.
"I just thrown in here by my sexy--- I mean Mr. Namjoon!" You reply. Mr. Wang punches you upside the face.
"That's what you get for disturbing my class," he grumbles, his knuckles covered with your blood. You sadly make your way back to your seat, and continue the rest of the class crying to yourself.
The next class was dance, and you-- being the poor, clumsy, and totally uncoordinated girl you are-- are afraid!!!1 You were so going to fail this class. You scampered to the corner of the room, where Tzuyu and her friends cornered you.
"I see you are still the same, ugly nerd as always!" Laughed Tzuyu wickedly. She then kicked you straight in the stomach.
You, coughing up blood, muster up the confidence to clap back at your evil step sister. "Nerd: An individual persecuted for their superior skills or intellect, most often by people who fear and envy them." Tzuyu's best friend Lisa collapsed in shock on how awesome your roast was and died.
In the other side of the room, the sexiest man on the planet-- YG OPPArhr-- stared at you with bedroom eyes. He loved a girl with attitude, he loved your feistiness. You blew him a kiss.
Tzuyu got immediately jealous and grabbed a chair and smashed it over your shit-brown hair, causing your beloved beanie to tear. It was the only thing your mother left you after her and your father killed themselves after Pristin disbanded. Tzuyu laughed as the beanie broke, and then picked it up and ate it.
"You *****!!!" You scream at her.
"Don't call me *****, I'm much more evil than that!" She cackles. She then walked over to YG oppahr in the corner of the room and started tongue-kissing him. It sounded like two fish being slapped together, but for some reason-- it turned you on? We're you attracted to your step sister and YG OPPAHR? Threesome alert!@!!~!~!!!
Your dance teacher was also the principal of the school-- Mr. Namtiddies!! You silently moaned to yourself as he walked in, his boobs flapping up and down as he walked.
"Students, I want to see you do an original dance of your own," he growls to the class. "The best dancer gets an A in the class, the worst-- well, they immediately fail the class and are kicked out from the school." He stared you down horrifyingly. You could tell that he was so mad that you roasted him so epicly.
The first kid in class to go was-- YOONGI?!!! When did he get in the class? And more importantly, why was he looking at you while dancing. He was so seductive-- you felt yourself scream with excitement. However, you-- not realizing how loud you screamed-- screamed so loud that everyone could hear you.
"Shut up!" Yelled Jennie, who then shanked you with her eye-lash curler.
As your intestines piled up on the ground, you laughed at Jennie. "Cool story bro. In what chapter do YOU shut up?" The whole class was in shock of your epic roast, so much so that Jennie-- who was demolished by your awesomeness-- exploded. You just killed two people. Not bad, you think to yourself.
The next person was Tzuyu, who decided to grind against Yang HYun succ for her dance. You felt so jealous-- you were so mad, so angry, and still wearing that nasty potato sack dress.
You squeeze your intestines back in your body, and pick up a chair and kill Tzuyu with it. The whole class applauds you. YG smiles at you as Tzuyu's bloodied, lifeless body hits the ground.
The final act was you, who decided to do the choreography to Pristin's "Wee Woo". Your parents used to force you to learn Pristin's dances, and dancing to them helped connect them to you. You felt your parent's presence as you began to dance, and in your heart you felt alive. You finished dancing by twerking at the end. You were so hilarious1!11!!!
"TERRIBLE!" Cackled Namjoonie. He then threw you against the wall again, causing you to land in Mr. Wang's classroom again?!/1/1/!/!/!?!/!?
Mr. Wang was in the middle of eating coochie-flavored yogurt when you landed in his classroom. "Again, Y/N?" He whispers at you seductively. He closes in on your bruised, mangy body.
"I guess I can't help trying to get what I want," you reply rawrXDliciously. He suddenly kissed you-- planting his dry, cracked lips against your bloody ones. You guys kissed for four minutes and thirty six seconds. His dull, lifeless orbs stared into yours, and you were awoken once more.
"I'll see you at the club tonight," he whispers deliciously. "Maybe we can kiss for four minutes and thirty seven seconds." WHAT?!! No one kissed longer than that, but you and Mr. Wang had a connection unlike any other. He lets go of you, and patted you on your thorax as you left the room. He was so kinky.
You excitedly walk home when Yoongi corners you with his friends Kai and Johnny. He looks at you evilly, and he holds out a butcher knife. Johnny holds out a pitch fork, and Kai-- being, well Kai-- held a toothpick. You gasp! No one brings a toothpick to a fight, they kill people instantly!!!!!!!!!111!
"Why did you kill Tzuyu, Jennie, and Lisa?" Barks Yoongi furiously. "You killed our girlfriends!!".
"WAIT WHAT?!!" You holler in shock. THEY WERE ALL DATING EACH OTHER?! Kinky.
"Yeah," screeches angrily. "Jennie was dating Kai, Johnny was dating Lisa, and I-- I was dating the hottest girl to live, Tzuyu111". You suddenly explode with anger. She was cheating on Yg OPaa?
"WAIT THAT HOE WAS CHEATING ON YG DADDY?!!!" You yell. Yoongi nods, sharpening his knife against his teeth.
He suddenly charges at you, and stabs you in the chest with his knife. You, running on pure rage-- rip off your potato sack dress and whack Yoongi with it until he dies.
You stand before Kai and Johnny, naked and ready to fight.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, HOW WILL YOUR NEW CAREER AS A STRIPPER GO???
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT PART OF THE SAUCIEST FANFICTION ON K-PROFILES!
You, naked, stand before Johnny and Kai and stare into their dog shit-hued, pearlescent orbs. They look at your poor, malnourished body and-- did they just stare at your breasts!?!!?!??!?!?!
"My eyes are up here, buddy!" You hiss.
"Sorry, I couldn't help but notice how hawt you are, Y/N," growled Kai seductively.
"Hey, she's mine!" Screamed Johnny. Johnny then, with his axe, cut Kai's head off.
As Kai's dead body fell to the ground, you ran up to Johnny and licked his nostrils. He started to squish your elbows as he kissed your nose for four minutes and thirty six seconds. "Wow," gasped Johnny. "I can't believe we just kissed for four minutes and thirty six seconds. Want to go to my place and try to kiss for four minutes and thirty seven seconds?".
"Four minutes and thirty seven seconds"?!!!?!??!?!" You gasp in shock. "We just met-- are you sure we want to go that far so soon?".
"Y/N, I love you," Johnny whispered. You stared at him and passionately slurped his eyeballs.
"I love you too," you seductively reply-- your breath stank with Johnny's eyeball juices.
Suddenly, out of the blue-- a car jumped out of nowhere and ran over the love of your life-- Johnny Jun Suh1!!!!!!! The person driving the car was-- your sexy uncle Namtiddiejoon?!?!!?
"Why were you kissing him for four minutes and thirty six seconds?!" Screamed Namjoon. "You ****!".
"I’m the opposite of a **** because I’ll never give a fuck," you roar back. Namjoon's car explodes in reaction to your epic roast. Fortunately for you, he escaped just in time as his car exploded in a blaze of fury.
"WHY DID YOU BLOW UP WITH MY CAR?" He seethes furiously.
"Don't blame me for your stupidity; take that up with your mom and dad," you quip back. Nam-joon's tiddies exploded in reaction to your mega boss-level roast.
"MY TITS!" He screams angrily.
"It's okay babe," you whisper seductively to your sexy uncle. "You can have my tits." You rip off your own boobs and give them to your hawt uncle.
"Thanks, Y/N," he replies-- blushing. He suddenly picked you up with his baby hands and kissed you for four minutes and-- thirty seven seconds?!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!
"Why'd you kiss me for four minutes and thirty seven seconds?" You ask surprisedly.
"Because, Y/N, you're the woman I want to marry," he says blushing. He then goes down on his thick thighs, and pulls out a ring pop. "Will you marry me?"
"Of course, uncle!" You scream at the top of your lungs.
"Okay," he says. "We'll get married after you work as a stripper tonight."
"Sounds cool, babe," you reply. He licks your ankle goodbye, and gets back in his car and runs over Johnny one more time to make sure he was dead.
You walk to the local strip club, still completely naked, and find it completely empty. The lights were completely empty, except for a few candles. Pristin's "We Like" starts to play. Immediately, you get turned on. Was Namjoon planning a surprise for you?????? OMO
"I heard about your engagement," echoed a voice dismally.
"Who are you?!?!?!?1/!" You call out confusedly. Immediately, the sexiest man alive-- YG Ooppar-- walked out, completely naked. His body looked like an undercooked McDonald's chicken nugget.
You lick your cold sore-covered lips at the sight of Yang Hyun Suck. "I'm going to be a married woman!!!" You scream. "We can't do this!!!!!". He walked over to you until he was right in your face.
"That's a silly excuse!" He roars seductively, his breath wreaking of cat vomit. "I want to tell you something."
"Yes, zaddie," you reply kinkily.
"I never liked Tzuyu." You gasp. "I used her to get close to you. You're the one I've always wanted, Y/N." He then pulled out a ring made out of his pubic hairs. "Marry me?!"
"YEs OPpah1!111" You scream.
"I want to do something to you I've never done before," he growls yummaliciously. He picks up a framed copy of Pristin's first mini album, "Hi Pristin!", and started to eat it. He then regurgitated the mix of glass, vinyl, and the crushed dreams of the Pristin members in your mouth.
You chew it up even more, and then regurgitate it back in his mouth. You both take turns until the CD turns to dust. He then kisses you for four minutes and thirty eight minutes.
"That was nice, Y/N," he whispered. Suddenly, you hear a gunshot and see YG oppa fall to the floor. You turn around and see your sexy teacher, Jackie Wang!, holding a gun!
YG OPPAHR JUST GOT SHOT! WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH HIM, YOUR FIANCE (A.k.A. your UncLE), AND YOUR AMAZINGLY HOT TEACHER?!!?!?!?
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT PART OF THE SAUCIEST FANFICTION ON K-PROFILES!
You, naked, stand before Johnny and Kai and stare into their dog shit-hued, pearlescent orbs. They look at your poor, malnourished body and-- did they just stare at your breasts!?!!?!??!?!?!
"My eyes are up here, buddy!" You hiss.
"Sorry, I couldn't help but notice how hawt you are, Y/N," growled Kai seductively.
"Hey, she's mine!" Screamed Johnny. Johnny then, with his axe, cut Kai's head off.
As Kai's dead body fell to the ground, you ran up to Johnny and licked his nostrils. He started to squish your elbows as he kissed your nose for four minutes and thirty six seconds. "Wow," gasped Johnny. "I can't believe we just kissed for four minutes and thirty six seconds. Want to go to my place and try to kiss for four minutes and thirty seven seconds?".
"Four minutes and thirty seven seconds"?!!!?!??!?!" You gasp in shock. "We just met-- are you sure we want to go that far so soon?".
"Y/N, I love you," Johnny whispered. You stared at him and passionately slurped his eyeballs.
"I love you too," you seductively reply-- your breath stank with Johnny's eyeball juices.
Suddenly, out of the blue-- a car jumped out of nowhere and ran over the love of your life-- Johnny Jun Suh1!!!!!!! The person driving the car was-- your sexy uncle Namtiddiejoon?!?!!?
"Why were you kissing him for four minutes and thirty six seconds?!" Screamed Namjoon. "You ****!".
"I’m the opposite of a **** because I’ll never give a fuck," you roar back. Namjoon's car explodes in reaction to your epic roast. Fortunately for you, he escaped just in time as his car exploded in a blaze of fury.
"WHY DID YOU BLOW UP WITH MY CAR?" He seethes furiously.
"Don't blame me for your stupidity; take that up with your mom and dad," you quip back. Nam-joon's tiddies exploded in reaction to your mega boss-level roast.
"MY TITS!" He screams angrily.
"It's okay babe," you whisper seductively to your sexy uncle. "You can have my tits." You rip off your own boobs and give them to your hawt uncle.
"Thanks, Y/N," he replies-- blushing. He suddenly picked you up with his baby hands and kissed you for four minutes and-- thirty seven seconds?!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!
"Why'd you kiss me for four minutes and thirty seven seconds?" You ask surprisedly.
"Because, Y/N, you're the woman I want to marry," he says blushing. He then goes down on his thick thighs, and pulls out a ring pop. "Will you marry me?"
"Of course, uncle!" You scream at the top of your lungs.
"Okay," he says. "We'll get married after you work as a stripper tonight."
"Sounds cool, babe," you reply. He licks your ankle goodbye, and gets back in his car and runs over Johnny one more time to make sure he was dead.
You walk to the local strip club, still completely naked, and find it completely empty. The lights were completely empty, except for a few candles. Pristin's "We Like" starts to play. Immediately, you get turned on. Was Namjoon planning a surprise for you?????? OMO
"I heard about your engagement," echoed a voice dismally.
"Who are you?!?!?!?1/!" You call out confusedly. Immediately, the sexiest man alive-- YG Ooppar-- walked out, completely naked. His body looked like an undercooked McDonald's chicken nugget.
You lick your cold sore-covered lips at the sight of Yang Hyun Suck. "I'm going to be a married woman!!!" You scream. "We can't do this!!!!!". He walked over to you until he was right in your face.
"That's a silly excuse!" He roars seductively, his breath wreaking of cat vomit. "I want to tell you something."
"Yes, zaddie," you reply kinkily.
"I never liked Tzuyu." You gasp. "I used her to get close to you. You're the one I've always wanted, Y/N." He then pulled out a ring made out of his pubic hairs. "Marry me?!"
"YEs OPpah1!111" You scream.
"I want to do something to you I've never done before," he growls yummaliciously. He picks up a framed copy of Pristin's first mini album, "Hi Pristin!", and started to eat it. He then regurgitated the mix of glass, vinyl, and the crushed dreams of the Pristin members in your mouth.
You chew it up even more, and then regurgitate it back in his mouth. You both take turns until the CD turns to dust. He then kisses you for four minutes and thirty eight minutes.
"That was nice, Y/N," he whispered. Suddenly, you hear a gunshot and see YG oppa fall to the floor. You turn around and see your sexy teacher, Jackie Wang!, holding a gun!
YG OPPAHR JUST GOT SHOT! WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH HIM, YOUR FIANCE (A.k.A. your UncLE), AND YOUR AMAZINGLY HOT TEACHER?!!?!?!?
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT PART OF THE SAUCIEST FANFICTION ON K-PROFILES!
Part Four: The Long-Awaited Answer-- WHAT HAPPENED TO MY YG OPPAHR!?1?!?!?!/!?!?!/!?!?
You scream as the love of your life, YG OPPAHR, falls to the ground!!!!!! His smexy, slimy body falls to the ground with a thud as the sexiest teacher alive-- Oppahr Jackson Wang (>w<)-- stands at the front of the strip club's entrance, holding a smoking gun.
"Y/N!" He screams furiously. "You ****!!!! YOU CHEATED ON ME!1!!!!1".
"I'm not a ****!!!!" You screech angrily, tears flowing down your dirty, Emma Chamberlain-level stank face. "And just remember, you can't spell **** without u!". Because of how awesome your roast was, his dick exploded.
"NO Y/N!" Cries your delicious snack of a teacher. "One more roast and you might kill me!". He was dickless, desperate, and passionately in love with you!! WHat do YOU do?!
"I'm sorry, Jackson," you frown. "But you shot YG, and that's unforgivable!".
"PLease, please don't--" He pleaded sadly. "I l~love you!".
"Love is like boobs. Some are big, some are small. Some are real and some are fake….. And you--" You point your greasy, shit-rimmed finger at him. "Your love is as fake as the idea of the LOONA members being straight!". Jackson started crying-- and because of your epic roast, his body disintegrated into a signed copy of your favorite Pristin album of all time-- "Like a V"!!!111!!!!!111
"OH MY GOD!" YOu hiss excitedly. "It's a sign1!!!!!!!". You pick up the album, and put it in your mouth. You start to eat it, crunching on the best song of 2018-- "Get It"-- and that other bop.
As the shards of glass, vinyl, and the lifeless souls of Kyulkyung, Eunwoo, Roa, Nayoung, and Rena swirl around in your bloody mouth, you start to regurgitate it into the open, oppahrsum-like mouth of YG! His yellow, decaying teeth began to fall out as the mixture of the CD and your bloody saliva enter his mouth.
"NO, OPPAHR!" You scream hysterically. "NO! COME ON! COME BACK TO LIFE!". BUt to no avail, OPPAHR IS STILL DEAD!!!!!!1111
"Yg," you whisper into his crusty ear. "Who else is going to keep the Blackpink members in the basement? And who else is gonna make reality shows promising debuts for idols but actually never debuting them? Or your many scandals-- what am I gonna do without your nasty, delicious face?????".
He says nothing. HE"S GONE.
Suddenly, a loud booming voice echoes behind you. You turn to see the second hottest man in the world (second to YG OPPAHR), your uncle looking at you pleadingly.
"Baby girl," Namtiddies screeches at you. "He's dead. And-- and I was the one who told Jackson Wang to kill him!".
"WHAT," you rawr FUMINGLY. You were raging, you were fuming, and most of all-- you were gonna avenge Yang HYunsuckmytoes.
"You see," he smiled wickedly. "I've planned this out for a long time. Isn't it a bit ironic that a 49 year-old man is in the same class as high school students?".
"Isn't he just stupid?" You reply dumbly. "The hottest ones usually are1111!!".
"No, Y/N," Namjin replied scandaliciously. His boobs flopped as he walked over to you. "I hired him to trick you into loving him to see if you would ever cheat on me-- and you DID!!!!".
"B~but I thought what we had was r-real!" You cry hysterically.
"Stupid girl," he replies angrily. "You're as dumb as the last girl!".
"Wait!! There was another girl?"?????!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!!!?!?/1/1/!/!
"Yes, Y/N," he seethed. "Her name was-- Peaches!".
WHO IS THAT ***** PEACHES?!!?!?! PLUS, WHAT HAPPENS NOW THAT YG OPPAHR IS DEAD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT PART OF THE SAUCIEST FANFICTION ON K-PROFILES!
You scream as the love of your life, YG OPPAHR, falls to the ground!!!!!! His smexy, slimy body falls to the ground with a thud as the sexiest teacher alive-- Oppahr Jackson Wang (>w<)-- stands at the front of the strip club's entrance, holding a smoking gun.
"Y/N!" He screams furiously. "You ****!!!! YOU CHEATED ON ME!1!!!!1".
"I'm not a ****!!!!" You screech angrily, tears flowing down your dirty, Emma Chamberlain-level stank face. "And just remember, you can't spell **** without u!". Because of how awesome your roast was, his dick exploded.
"NO Y/N!" Cries your delicious snack of a teacher. "One more roast and you might kill me!". He was dickless, desperate, and passionately in love with you!! WHat do YOU do?!
"I'm sorry, Jackson," you frown. "But you shot YG, and that's unforgivable!".
"PLease, please don't--" He pleaded sadly. "I l~love you!".
"Love is like boobs. Some are big, some are small. Some are real and some are fake….. And you--" You point your greasy, shit-rimmed finger at him. "Your love is as fake as the idea of the LOONA members being straight!". Jackson started crying-- and because of your epic roast, his body disintegrated into a signed copy of your favorite Pristin album of all time-- "Like a V"!!!111!!!!!111
"OH MY GOD!" YOu hiss excitedly. "It's a sign1!!!!!!!". You pick up the album, and put it in your mouth. You start to eat it, crunching on the best song of 2018-- "Get It"-- and that other bop.
As the shards of glass, vinyl, and the lifeless souls of Kyulkyung, Eunwoo, Roa, Nayoung, and Rena swirl around in your bloody mouth, you start to regurgitate it into the open, oppahrsum-like mouth of YG! His yellow, decaying teeth began to fall out as the mixture of the CD and your bloody saliva enter his mouth.
"NO, OPPAHR!" You scream hysterically. "NO! COME ON! COME BACK TO LIFE!". BUt to no avail, OPPAHR IS STILL DEAD!!!!!!1111
"Yg," you whisper into his crusty ear. "Who else is going to keep the Blackpink members in the basement? And who else is gonna make reality shows promising debuts for idols but actually never debuting them? Or your many scandals-- what am I gonna do without your nasty, delicious face?????".
He says nothing. HE"S GONE.
Suddenly, a loud booming voice echoes behind you. You turn to see the second hottest man in the world (second to YG OPPAHR), your uncle looking at you pleadingly.
"Baby girl," Namtiddies screeches at you. "He's dead. And-- and I was the one who told Jackson Wang to kill him!".
"WHAT," you rawr FUMINGLY. You were raging, you were fuming, and most of all-- you were gonna avenge Yang HYunsuckmytoes.
"You see," he smiled wickedly. "I've planned this out for a long time. Isn't it a bit ironic that a 49 year-old man is in the same class as high school students?".
"Isn't he just stupid?" You reply dumbly. "The hottest ones usually are1111!!".
"No, Y/N," Namjin replied scandaliciously. His boobs flopped as he walked over to you. "I hired him to trick you into loving him to see if you would ever cheat on me-- and you DID!!!!".
"B~but I thought what we had was r-real!" You cry hysterically.
"Stupid girl," he replies angrily. "You're as dumb as the last girl!".
"Wait!! There was another girl?"?????!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!!!?!?/1/1/!/!
"Yes, Y/N," he seethed. "Her name was-- Peaches!".
WHO IS THAT ***** PEACHES?!!?!?! PLUS, WHAT HAPPENS NOW THAT YG OPPAHR IS DEAD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT PART OF THE SAUCIEST FANFICTION ON K-PROFILES!
👁
👁
I'll try making another part tomorrow!
