❥--[Mental Health Support Space]

[Call_MeRover]

TW
I also feel like dying. i cant do this. my mom keeps calling me a slt. my friend makayah keeps talking down to me and its starting to hurt because she always wants to be right but when i say something she looks at me as if im dumb, and i know,"You arent!". but right now im literally having nly a 2.0 is school and college classes are so confusing and now that black history is over we are back to racist issues and isults. my mom says i never get her anything for her birthday and my dad is only here once a week

 

[rumisramyeon]

my parents told me i should just die this weekend
someone just kill me now plz

 

[izyun]

The urge to kill myself has gotten a little better but it still definitely is there. And I'm not even going to vent to anyone anymore because why? I'm only going to say it in this space. I don't need to overshare. And I always feel so guilty after.
ED ?? These past two weeks I have had to force myself to eat, I hate it so much. I don't even get hungry anymore.
My friends and family started noticing that I don't really care about shit anymore. And it's true I don't I don't see the point in anything anymore. The worst part is that this site is like the main source of my depression. This is supposed to be about making friends with those who like kpop not all of this drama. I only feel like 3 people on this site actually like me. I hate feeling this way. I want help but will it really make me feel better?

Tianna, im glad your urge is getting better and i soon hope it leaves completely. You also shouldnt feel guilty after venting either but i understand why you dont want to vent to anyone anymore. You honestly shouldnt be forcing yourself to eat if youre not hungry bc that can be unhealthy towards you. I recommend talking to someone irl and getting help, i cant promise youll get better but hopefully it helps your urges go down and if you ever feel the need to talk, my pms are always open<3

 

[yvessznʚଓ]

Tianna, im glad your urge is getting better and i soon hope it leaves completely. You also shouldnt feel guilty after venting either but i understand why you dont want to vent to anyone anymore. You honestly shouldnt be forcing yourself to eat if youre not hungry bc that can be unhealthy towards you. I recommend talking to someone irl and getting help, i cant promise youll get better but hopefully it helps your urges go down and if you ever feel the need to talk, my pms are always open<3

Tysm Iz. I appreciate it a lot

 

[izyun]

Tysm Iz. I appreciate it a lot

Ofc!!❤

 

[Harleyquinfan]

TW: su!c!de, sh

so tmr my advange theater is joining up w the su!c!de group to do a play for the freshies at my school nd me nd my friend made a joke by saying "we migh as well get everyone from our family gc here" but after that i thought to myself 'how can i do this play w/o getting triggered?' or 'how do i do this play w/o showing my scars/cuts' (bc we can't wear out hoodie unless we think its sum our character would wear) so in the end i js told myself to suck it up. as always

 

[izyun]

Tw: mentions of starvation

Recently ive been wanting try starving myself, ik its not healthy but cant help it. I hate when my mom gets mad at me for eating, i hate when she gets mad at me for being hungry. Ive had it, at school ofc its easier to not eat, at home its different, i just know my mom will push me to eat, ik she'll act surprised if i say im not hungry, i just know. If i start now, ik ill have to eat on Saturday due to respect at a party, i can try for some time and continue after but idc, i just want her to stop getting mad at me for eating. Im sick of it, idc what others say, im doing it soon.

 

[rumisramyeon]

Tw: mentions of starvation

Recently ive been wanting try starving myself, ik its not healthy but cant help it. I hate when my mom gets mad at me for eating, i hate when she gets mad at me for being hungry. Ive had it, at school ofc its easier to not eat, at home its different, i just know my mom will push me to eat, ik she'll act surprised if i say im not hungry, i just know. If i start now, ik ill have to eat on Saturday due to respect at a party, i can try for some time and continue after but idc, i just want her to stop getting mad at me for eating. Im sick of it, idc what others say, im doing it soon.

i did that for like a month and it was not the best idea
i was so dizzy and could barely stand up, and i ate nothing at all during winter break this year, like after thanksgiving i just stopped eating but started again when school started
it's not the best idea to starve yourself, it made me so sick and i could barely stand up everyday

 

[rumisramyeon]

i did that for like a month and it was not the best idea
i was so dizzy and could barely stand up, and i ate nothing at all during winter break this year, like after thanksgiving i just stopped eating but started again when school started
it's not the best idea to starve yourself, it made me so sick and i could barely stand up everyday

and im still suffering the consequences, 3 months later

 

[izyun]

and im still suffering the consequences, 3 months later

I appreciate the advice but if im gonna be honest, idc about my health, i just want all the bickering to stop

 

[rumisramyeon]

I appreciate the advice but if im gonna be honest, idc about my health, i just want all the bickering to stop

i feel that tho </3

 

[ANONYMOUS USER]

feeling like shit again
atleast 1 person hates me and ik i shouldnt care but it sucks
i think of them as a friend and they just hate me
i try too hard

 

[Gwacekpop2]

I feel like everyone needs a little break from the forums sometimes.

I need one but I'm too attached to just not check in once a day. I become increasingly tired the more I log on. I sometimes think some situations and problematic people could be dealt with more reasoning and just have a peaceful conversation and have a narrow mind. Sometimes I can just see better ways to deal with things but it's dealt with a little too aggressively, which never really ends up resolving anything besides making a big wall. I'm seeing large groups of users making communities, which is good and I think it's cool, but I don't think it's really good for the mental health of the other users or the ones in those groups who may be excluded or just not heard. It feels like "oh, i have to catch up!" then it turns into "oh." I don't like to say these things out loud but I'd rather no one feel excluded rather than keep silent. Tbh, the forums feel so divided and I'm not liking it. It's just so empty to me.

 

[Harleyquinfan]

idk of this makes me an awful peson but im tired of my family. i literally turned up my music to drown out them drowning why im telling yall this idk. its not like yall will care but i cant stand nor take this anymore

 

[1fool4you]

my family is in ruins.
my mom and dad arent talking to each other anymore. its been like a whole week.
and my moms going away with my siblings to our other house to get away from him for the weekend.
im so scared, i rlly dont want them to get a divorce. i dont want our family to break apart. but theres nothing i can do. thats the worst part.
i literally cried myself to sleep last night. as if life couldnt get any worse.

 

[yvessznʚଓ]

I just keep hurting myself by looking at how we used to be. I used to be so happy with them. It'll never be like that again and that breaks my heart.

 

[knnovation]

I’ll try one more time…and if i fail again, I’ll give up. Maybe I’ll get lucky this time, I can only hope

 

[yvessznʚଓ]

I will try to be a better friend. Its really hard though, but I'll try. I want to be close with everyone again. Hopefully it'll work out. I don't wanna loose anyone.

 

[yvessznʚଓ]

I hate my family.

 

[ur.local.dino]

this year is really hitting hard. 2022 was a rough year, and it’s all just bursting out now. why does it have to be me?
i apologize, over and over. it’s either “you don’t apologize enough, it makes me feel like you don’t actually care.” or, “you apologize to much, it’s annoying.”
i can never get anything right. on top of that, my dreams of being a doctor were crushed by my mom who says “i don’t see you ever being a doctor, you’re scared of dissecting a worm.” yes, im scared, but that’s because i have a fear of worms. and either way, she should’ve supported me.
i still cry over losing my dog which was almost a year ago. my dad tells me that i shouldn’t cry because, well, it was a year ago. he doesn’t realize the connection i had with her, i can’t just expect her to go and not come back.
we got a new dog, all seems good. then my mom talks about how she regrets getting my new dog everyday. how she wants to get rid of her. and then she says she’s sending her to training in a few weeks where they keep her overnight, meaning i wont see her at all monday - friday.
i started hurting myself again. ripping my skin off, scratching myself until it bleeds, i just can’t stop. it makes me focus on something else, and i’m grateful for it.
school is so stressful. i’m trying to get good grades but i just can’t. i try but no one helps. in reality i qualify for a 504 which will provide me extra help, but it seems like my mom just can’t believe it. she has been told this by many adults but she just can’t seem to understand that it will help me. i got my grade in 5th period up to a B- which is impressive for me because i struggle in that class. what do i receive? not even a “good job.”.
im scared, petrified even of losing my friends. the connections seem so loose, like a rope that’s bound to snap at any chance it gets. i try venting to them but they say, “oh i’m sorry that you have to go through that, you know i actually went through something similar.” and proceed to tell me about what they go through. then i feel like my problems have been undermined and i have to deal with the position of the therapist. i’m done. i don’t care for most people’s feelings anymore. you’re sad you couldn’t have a sleepover with your other friend? so what, get over it. i’m always the last option, the last resort. they never ask me what i want to do.
i’ve been here drowning in my struggles being commanded by people who will never understand me. i absolutely hate it when others respond to my venting with some of theirs, i know, it’s selfish. i’m a selfish person. i just can’t deal with it, it hurts so bad. they say they understand me, but they don’t. they never will. why? because everyone experiences things differently. so i ask them to stop saying they know how i feel because they don’t. simple as that, they don’t. i’m so close to giving in, giving up. not like anyone would miss me anyway, lol.