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i did it yet again. im not surprised, its always me.
❥--[Mental Health Support Space]
- Thread starter saaylhy
- Start date
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- Joined
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im not in a good headspace rn.
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im actually kinda scared. i shouldnt be tho.
- Joined
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i got memories and cried.
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yay. again.
- Joined
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i did it again.
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2023
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Im getting a little big..
I can't stop splitting, I keep going back to that dark mental state over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over & over again. This is the longest episode I've had since I went to court a few years ago for the..... situation
I don't know what to do, I'm losing my mind. I feel like I can't take this anymore, but I'm going to have to try. I just... feel so baaadd, why do all the symptoms have to come at once this time??? Ugh, I don't feel good at all, I have a headache & I keep blunting.
Why can't I just be normal? I just want to live a normal life. I think things would be a little better if the god damn pharmacists would actually do their fucking jobs for once in their useless lives, and just restock my fucking medicine when requested, but noooooooo, Alex has to waiitt! *****, I can't wait!! I just can't wait for it to go away, in fact it never goes away. I'm never truly happy, it always comes crashing down eventually anyway. Meds don't completely help, and there's no way for them to completely help until somebody develops a little more powerful & better-working medicine in the future.
I feel like nobody understands what I go through on a daily basis, they just think I'm crazy. You are NOT special, I hate everyone almost as much as I hate myself. What makes YOU different, you think I'm not going to hate you either??? Nothing personal, just the way it is.
The mental delusions are getting to me, and I'm starting to see hallucinations now. Hopefully that means I'm at the worst stage of it all & I'll come back to normal not too far from now.
I just want to lay down & never wake up again, zzzzzz then BOOM I'm in hell where I belong. I'm such a wuss, and I'm glad. If I wasn't I wouldn't be here.
I don't know what to do, I'm losing my mind. I feel like I can't take this anymore, but I'm going to have to try. I just... feel so baaadd, why do all the symptoms have to come at once this time??? Ugh, I don't feel good at all, I have a headache & I keep blunting.
Why can't I just be normal? I just want to live a normal life. I think things would be a little better if the god damn pharmacists would actually do their fucking jobs for once in their useless lives, and just restock my fucking medicine when requested, but noooooooo, Alex has to waiitt! *****, I can't wait!! I just can't wait for it to go away, in fact it never goes away. I'm never truly happy, it always comes crashing down eventually anyway. Meds don't completely help, and there's no way for them to completely help until somebody develops a little more powerful & better-working medicine in the future.
I feel like nobody understands what I go through on a daily basis, they just think I'm crazy. You are NOT special, I hate everyone almost as much as I hate myself. What makes YOU different, you think I'm not going to hate you either??? Nothing personal, just the way it is.
The mental delusions are getting to me, and I'm starting to see hallucinations now. Hopefully that means I'm at the worst stage of it all & I'll come back to normal not too far from now.
I just want to lay down & never wake up again, zzzzzz then BOOM I'm in hell where I belong. I'm such a wuss, and I'm glad. If I wasn't I wouldn't be here.
i'm really excited, i got some good news 
i went to my dentist today and they took x-rays and the tooth that got pulled out a couple months ago, the adult one is starting to come up, and i felt super relieved to hear it (i still probably have to wait like 3-4 months more hopefully)
i went to my dentist today and they took x-rays and the tooth that got pulled out a couple months ago, the adult one is starting to come up, and i felt super relieved to hear it (i still probably have to wait like 3-4 months more hopefully)
Why?
Because it brings me down so much
Care to elaborate in pms because I lowkey feel like ik.. :C
Okay sure
this is why i hate having people over at my house
I invited one of my newer friends over to my house today
(met her in like August/early October) and we became close really quick
I usually don't like to talk about my sister bc it just makes me sad
Only my closest friends know what happened to her and I just don't mention her a lot at school
ofc a lot of kids know who went to my school (bc we we're in the same grade duh), but a lot of ppl forgot about it since neither of us were really popular
anyways she comes over today and see's a picture of Isa (my sister) that was hanging in my bedroom.
she then starts to ike pressure me into telling her everything like how she died, what happened, etc etc. and I didn't really want to tell her
it got so bad to a point where I started crying and practically screamed at her
I feel bad but she just pushed my boundaries
when she passed I got super quiet
even through social media
I didnt post about it at all and haven't posted about her since
it feels rude and I feel guilty not wanting to talk about her but I just get upset every time I do
I invited one of my newer friends over to my house today
(met her in like August/early October) and we became close really quick
I usually don't like to talk about my sister bc it just makes me sad
Only my closest friends know what happened to her and I just don't mention her a lot at school
ofc a lot of kids know who went to my school (bc we we're in the same grade duh), but a lot of ppl forgot about it since neither of us were really popular
anyways she comes over today and see's a picture of Isa (my sister) that was hanging in my bedroom.
she then starts to ike pressure me into telling her everything like how she died, what happened, etc etc. and I didn't really want to tell her
it got so bad to a point where I started crying and practically screamed at her
I feel bad but she just pushed my boundaries
when she passed I got super quiet
even through social media
I didnt post about it at all and haven't posted about her since
it feels rude and I feel guilty not wanting to talk about her but I just get upset every time I do
you shouldn't of gotten pressured to say that to her...
i feel bad for u...
like if you don't want to talk about it, it's ur personal space
but don't feel bad because of it, if u aren't comfortable to say, it's 100% ok
ur still such a great person <33
ilysm lol
(sorry if this sounds awkward dsahjdkasdasdnhj)