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kirizz

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me bored so ig i'll just vent (this is prob gonna be VERY long)
TW: mental health, uh idk just might be sensitive 😭

SO uh idrk where to start, but when I was two my dad died, and my mom got really depressed and my brother and I got taken away from her. We then moved back and forth living with different people until my mom got better. I'm now living with my mom, but she seems to hate me. She always threatens to strangle me, calls me names, and says she doesn't want a relationship with me. My mom also quit her job a while ago because of my mental health or something. (sounds all sweet ik...but just wait) But then once she ended up struggling to find another job she blamed me and made me feel guilty, making me feel like the reason for making our lives even worse. Now, I deal with depression, anxiety, and ADHD, which just makes my life a lot worse, tbh. My brother also HATES me and even hits me, but everyone thinks his a little angel so he never gets in trouble. My friends also always ignore me to the point it feels like i'm never there. One time I got into a fight with my friend which she then told another friend and then they both started saying stuff (I did too so I can't really be talking) but ANYWAYS it still affects me and she still says rude stuff...(my friend is on here so I can't say a lot) The other day too we were in P.E and we were playing volleyball and there was this girl that was just standing and talking (she was my friend) and I jokingly said "Oh wow, cook for Chishiya", and this other girl fr says "You are literally hitting the ball backwards you can not be talking" and then I was pretty much depressed the rest of the day cause idk why i'm like this...I also have this TERRIBLE teacher that is very rude and she was threatening to write people up cause their legs were shaking, LIKE WHATT. Everyday, I always go to school tired, sad, and even sometimes mad (cause my mom likes to yell at me every morning) AND then when I get home i'm just too tired to even do homework and I just wanna go to sleep. ANYWAYS, I think i'm done venting I would put more but that stuff is kinda intense so uh... byebye<3 for anyone who needs this, I hope you get better and I want you to know there are people that love you.
kiri outtt ;)

SORRY IT WAS SO LONGGGGG OML
 
me bored so ig i'll just vent (this is prob gonna be VERY long)
TW: mental health, uh idk just might be sensitive 😭

SO uh idrk where to start, but when I was two my dad died, and my mom got really depressed and my brother and I got taken away from her. We then moved back and forth living with different people until my mom got better. I'm now living with my mom, but she seems to hate me. She always threatens to strangle me, calls me names, and says she doesn't want a relationship with me. My mom also quit her job a while ago because of my mental health or something. (sounds all sweet ik...but just wait) But then once she ended up struggling to find another job she blamed me and made me feel guilty, making me feel like the reason for making our lives even worse. Now, I deal with depression, anxiety, and ADHD, which just makes my life a lot worse, tbh. My brother also HATES me and even hits me, but everyone thinks his a little angel so he never gets in trouble. My friends also always ignore me to the point it feels like i'm never there. One time I got into a fight with my friend which she then told another friend and then they both started saying stuff (I did too so I can't really be talking) but ANYWAYS it still affects me and she still says rude stuff...(my friend is on here so I can't say a lot) The other day too we were in P.E and we were playing volleyball and there was this girl that was just standing and talking (she was my friend) and I jokingly said "Oh wow, cook for Chishiya", and this other girl fr says "You are literally hitting the ball backwards you can not be talking" and then I was pretty much depressed the rest of the day cause idk why i'm like this...I also have this TERRIBLE teacher that is very rude and she was threatening to write people up cause their legs were shaking, LIKE WHATT. Everyday, I always go to school tired, sad, and even sometimes mad (cause my mom likes to yell at me every morning) AND then when I get home i'm just too tired to even do homework and I just wanna go to sleep. ANYWAYS, I think i'm done venting I would put more but that stuff is kinda intense so uh... byebye<3 for anyone who needs this, I hope you get better and I want you to know there are people that love you.
kiri outtt ;)

SORRY IT WAS SO LONGGGGG OML
Awww my dms are open</3
 

hwngjunn_

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I honestly hate myself for being so fucking hungry all the time, like I could be eating a whole plate of chicken and rice and after im done w it, I would eat another plate like 4 more plates, I hate being fat. my family body shames me, tells me to stop eating. Like its getting to the point where I’ll start starving myself, but that doesn’t work cuz my fat ass always eats.
 

hwngjunn_

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
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I lwk wanted my mom to have an abortion (for me only) .. cuz if I wasn’t in this world, everyone would be happy, everything would be quiet.
 

・Gia_Who?・

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I lwk wanted my mom to have an abortion (for me only) .. cuz if I wasn’t in this world, everyone would be happy, everything would be quiet.
same, but think about it if she did
you would never live at all
never meet your own mom
you wouldn't know YOU were ever a possibility
you would never try your favorite things
taste your favorite foods
take your first steps
I know life is hard it always has been but you are stronger then the urge to disappear
imagine your mom having to make that choice
imagine how the people who love you would feel after
just imagine never living
you would never learn your first words
you would have never felt real love
you would never hear music
you would never see the world
learn how to hold a pencil
NOTHING

its hard yes, but you have to stay strong to understand that what you have right now could have never happened, you would have been killed before you even saw light, and thinking about that doesn't feel great, its always going to be hard but you gotta make the good out of it. Always remember you have a future a bad or good but still a future. You might find the love of your life or choose to live with cats and grow old with them. You might go to your dream college or get your dream job. There's always something ahead to live for. One day you might wanna die the other you might get your dream precent, or get asked out. You never know what good is about to come. Focus on the good instead of bad, be happy, enjoy the life you have now and will in the future. Theres always someone who loves you and wants you in their life.
 
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