☆I'm Ok☆ 《Binhwan》

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kiwihwan

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𝗛𝗮𝗿𝘂'𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹 𝗴𝗳
Hanbin sighed as he took a long sip of his beer. He rubbed his eyes as he put down his pen and leaned back in his chair. He was having trouble writing music because his mind kept flashing back to the argument with Jinhwan hyung.

"You're drunk again." Jay said, leaning against the door frame.

Hanbin looked up and over, rolling his eyes as a sigh escaped his pursed lips. "I had two beers but go off, I guess." He waved his hand in annoyance.

Jinhwan, while small in height, made up for being terrifying when he was angry because of his lack of emotion on his face. He walked into the room, taking small steps like a toddler, before sitting down across from Hanbin.

"I may have been born at night but it wasn't last night, Hanbin. I know damn well you had more than two beers." He stated.

Hanbin, becoming increasingly more annoyed with his hyung, looked up at him. "I can drink as many beers as I want, hyung. I don't jump on you when you drink yourself into a wine stupor, so why are you on my ass like this?"

"Because, I am the oldest, it's my responsibility to look out for you and you, as a leader, have a responsibility to all of us." Jay said.

"Literally everyone else drinks. You just like to attack me." Hanbin whined.

"Not everyone else is our leader, like you are." Jay said, not showing any change of emotion.

"Maybe I drink because everyone is always on my case, have you considered that? Maybe I drink because at the end of the day I can't deal with your bullshit." He said.

"Then you shouldn't have been an idol." Jay shrugged.

Hanbin was angry now. Who the hell did Jay think he was? He stood up, "maybe you're right. Maybe I'll just quit! I don't expect you or anyone else to pick up my slack though, you guys are good as dead if I leave."

"We'll manage."

"Fine! I'm done! There, are you happy, Jay hyung? Is this what you wanted to do?" Hanbin asked.

"No. I want you to stop drinking so much. I want you to stop showing up to practice so shitfaced that you can't even get through one dance routine without falling on your face. I want you to be able to sing and write music that everyone will enjoy but you can't even do that properly." Jay said, also standing up.

"Whatever. Don't worry about me anymore because after tonight, you won't ever see me again!" Hanbin stormed out of the room.


"Maybe I should call him.." Hanbin said, as he pulled out his phone and brought up Jay's number.

However, no matter how many times he calls, Jay never answers.

"Jay, hyung. It's Hanbin..again, I know I'm probably filling up your voicemail and I know you will never call back...but you were right. I couldn't admit it then because I was a coward but I am trying to get better. I miss you so much and I'm so sorry for hurting you. I know I can't take it back but I love you, so much.."

Hanbin placed his phone down, before letting his emotions out. He screamed, cried, punched things. He knew Jay would never respond because the dead can't talk.

"JAY HYUNG! YOU COWARD! WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME??? TO EVERYONE!!! YOU GOT ONTO ME FOR DRINKING AND THEN YOU GOT DRUNK AND DROVE!! YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!" Hanbin screamed at the ceiling.

He collapsed with a heavy sigh, running his hands through his hair, sobbing as he curled into himself. "It should have been me...not you..." he said in between sobs.

"I would give anything to go back to that horrible day so I could trade places with you..." he said as tears continued to stream down his face as he slowly fell asleep.

Jay always came to him in his dreams.

"Hanbin, I'm okay. Don't cry for me anymore. I'll always be watching out for you. You will be okay...I love you."

He would fade away before Hanbin had a chance to speak but he knew Jay was right. He would be okay, everything would be okay.

(Sorry if I make anyone cry, 😔)
 

Love_alize071313

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Hanbin sighed as he took a long sip of his beer. He rubbed his eyes as he put down his pen and leaned back in his chair. He was having trouble writing music because his mind kept flashing back to the argument with Jinhwan hyung.

"You're drunk again." Jay said, leaning against the door frame.

Hanbin looked up and over, rolling his eyes as a sigh escaped his pursed lips. "I had two beers but go off, I guess." He waved his hand in annoyance.

Jinhwan, while small in height, made up for being terrifying when he was angry because of his lack of emotion on his face. He walked into the room, taking small steps like a toddler, before sitting down across from Hanbin.

"I may have been born at night but it wasn't last night, Hanbin. I know damn well you had more than two beers." He stated.

Hanbin, becoming increasingly more annoyed with his hyung, looked up at him. "I can drink as many beers as I want, hyung. I don't jump on you when you drink yourself into a wine stupor, so why are you on my ass like this?"

"Because, I am the oldest, it's my responsibility to look out for you and you, as a leader, have a responsibility to all of us." Jay said.

"Literally everyone else drinks. You just like to attack me." Hanbin whined.

"Not everyone else is our leader, like you are." Jay said, not showing any change of emotion.

"Maybe I drink because everyone is always on my case, have you considered that? Maybe I drink because at the end of the day I can't deal with your bullshit." He said.

"Then you shouldn't have been an idol." Jay shrugged.

Hanbin was angry now. Who the hell did Jay think he was? He stood up, "maybe you're right. Maybe I'll just quit! I don't expect you or anyone else to pick up my slack though, you guys are good as dead if I leave."

"We'll manage."

"Fine! I'm done! There, are you happy, Jay hyung? Is this what you wanted to do?" Hanbin asked.

"No. I want you to stop drinking so much. I want you to stop showing up to practice so shitfaced that you can't even get through one dance routine without falling on your face. I want you to be able to sing and write music that everyone will enjoy but you can't even do that properly." Jay said, also standing up.

"Whatever. Don't worry about me anymore because after tonight, you won't ever see me again!" Hanbin stormed out of the room.


"Maybe I should call him.." Hanbin said, as he pulled out his phone and brought up Jay's number.

However, no matter how many times he calls, Jay never answers.

"Jay, hyung. It's Hanbin..again, I know I'm probably filling up your voicemail and I know you will never call back...but you were right. I couldn't admit it then because I was a coward but I am trying to get better. I miss you so much and I'm so sorry for hurting you. I know I can't take it back but I love you, so much.."

Hanbin placed his phone down, before letting his emotions out. He screamed, cried, punched things. He knew Jay would never respond because the dead can't talk.

"JAY HYUNG! YOU COWARD! WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME??? TO EVERYONE!!! YOU GOT ONTO ME FOR DRINKING AND THEN YOU GOT DRUNK AND DROVE!! YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!" Hanbin screamed at the ceiling.

He collapsed with a heavy sigh, running his hands through his hair, sobbing as he curled into himself. "It should have been me...not you..." he said in between sobs.

"I would give anything to go back to that horrible day so I could trade places with you..." he said as tears continued to stream down his face as he slowly fell asleep.

Jay always came to him in his dreams.

"Hanbin, I'm okay. Don't cry for me anymore. I'll always be watching out for you. You will be okay...I love you."

He would fade away before Hanbin had a chance to speak but he knew Jay was right. He would be okay, everything would be okay.

(Sorry if I make anyone cry, 😔)
I'm okay. (y) Just sobbing my ass off but okay
 

red riot114

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Hanbin sighed as he took a long sip of his beer. He rubbed his eyes as he put down his pen and leaned back in his chair. He was having trouble writing music because his mind kept flashing back to the argument with Jinhwan hyung.

"You're drunk again." Jay said, leaning against the door frame.

Hanbin looked up and over, rolling his eyes as a sigh escaped his pursed lips. "I had two beers but go off, I guess." He waved his hand in annoyance.

Jinhwan, while small in height, made up for being terrifying when he was angry because of his lack of emotion on his face. He walked into the room, taking small steps like a toddler, before sitting down across from Hanbin.

"I may have been born at night but it wasn't last night, Hanbin. I know damn well you had more than two beers." He stated.

Hanbin, becoming increasingly more annoyed with his hyung, looked up at him. "I can drink as many beers as I want, hyung. I don't jump on you when you drink yourself into a wine stupor, so why are you on my ass like this?"

"Because, I am the oldest, it's my responsibility to look out for you and you, as a leader, have a responsibility to all of us." Jay said.

"Literally everyone else drinks. You just like to attack me." Hanbin whined.

"Not everyone else is our leader, like you are." Jay said, not showing any change of emotion.

"Maybe I drink because everyone is always on my case, have you considered that? Maybe I drink because at the end of the day I can't deal with your bullshit." He said.

"Then you shouldn't have been an idol." Jay shrugged.

Hanbin was angry now. Who the hell did Jay think he was? He stood up, "maybe you're right. Maybe I'll just quit! I don't expect you or anyone else to pick up my slack though, you guys are good as dead if I leave."

"We'll manage."

"Fine! I'm done! There, are you happy, Jay hyung? Is this what you wanted to do?" Hanbin asked.

"No. I want you to stop drinking so much. I want you to stop showing up to practice so shitfaced that you can't even get through one dance routine without falling on your face. I want you to be able to sing and write music that everyone will enjoy but you can't even do that properly." Jay said, also standing up.

"Whatever. Don't worry about me anymore because after tonight, you won't ever see me again!" Hanbin stormed out of the room.


"Maybe I should call him.." Hanbin said, as he pulled out his phone and brought up Jay's number.

However, no matter how many times he calls, Jay never answers.

"Jay, hyung. It's Hanbin..again, I know I'm probably filling up your voicemail and I know you will never call back...but you were right. I couldn't admit it then because I was a coward but I am trying to get better. I miss you so much and I'm so sorry for hurting you. I know I can't take it back but I love you, so much.."

Hanbin placed his phone down, before letting his emotions out. He screamed, cried, punched things. He knew Jay would never respond because the dead can't talk.

"JAY HYUNG! YOU COWARD! WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME??? TO EVERYONE!!! YOU GOT ONTO ME FOR DRINKING AND THEN YOU GOT DRUNK AND DROVE!! YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!" Hanbin screamed at the ceiling.

He collapsed with a heavy sigh, running his hands through his hair, sobbing as he curled into himself. "It should have been me...not you..." he said in between sobs.

"I would give anything to go back to that horrible day so I could trade places with you..." he said as tears continued to stream down his face as he slowly fell asleep.

Jay always came to him in his dreams.

"Hanbin, I'm okay. Don't cry for me anymore. I'll always be watching out for you. You will be okay...I love you."

He would fade away before Hanbin had a chance to speak but he knew Jay was right. He would be okay, everything would be okay.

(Sorry if I make anyone cry, 😔)
I-...damn😶 no word can express wht im feelin
 
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