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❥--[Mental Health Support Space]
- Thread starter saaylhy
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thugging it out cuz i'm so OG and so cool
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sigh ok i need to shut up and lock in
hmwhahahahahaha
hmwhahahahahaha
simon says urin real vibe killer
killer
killer
killer
killer
killer
killer
ok im done
This is prob gonna weird someone out..
My life is fucked I'm literally going back to who I was 3 years ago. I barely have the energy to take care of myself, it just feels like I have a ton of weight on my shoulders and nothing can be done about it. Like my dad is cussing me out over the phone daily because I want to stay with my mom and he can't get taxes out of me anymore and cussing out my mom... He's the reason I got depression and anxiety. It just makes me wanna kms so bad. I barely have enough energy to brush my teeth or clean my room and my mom barely makes it better shes always saying how I eat up all the food, saying I'm nothing but a waste of space and a lazy son of b**ch.. like you know I have all this mental stuff going on and you still say this and wonder why I cry at night. My dad and my grandma are the reason I lost so much weight since they always said "You should eat less Sariah (my cousin) isn't that big" that lit made me not eat almost last school years summer break so I drastically dropped from 168 to 130 probably lower now.
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So at a very, very young age (I was 6 or 8) I was exposed to S3X and the hub, and it's now affecting me every single time I see orange and black or white and blue. I get so uncomfortable, even with food like peaches, bananas ect. ik you may think "oh my god, Azzys overreacting" I'm not. it affected me insanely im really scared im so fucking scared bro i cant get it out my head its like printed into my brain but i do feel like im getting better at the same time i dont think about stuff like that anymore i swear im getting better but someone in my class is making fun of me for it and thats also affecting me he keeps bringing it up like saying "oh you want this hmm? you want it dont you disgusting wh0re" and like bro no i dont i really fucking dont im tired of being a disgusting weirdo (btw i dont think of people in a sexual manner in any way its only when someone brings it up then it sticks to my head for a week or a month) im fucking shaking writing this bro i wanna get better i really wanna get better i miss my old self where i didnt think abt stuff where i didnt wanna kms im scared of what will happen im scared if my parents find out im scared if my siblings find out IM SCARED IM SO FUCKING DONE I DONT IF IM HYPERSEXUAL OR SOMETHING BUT THIS IS WEIRD so fucking weird i feel disgusted with myself and im tired of myself bro im so scared guys srsly im scared the boys in my class bullys me for this and shit
i dont know what i did to deserve this.
i swear im getting better tho i just needed to let this out
i dont know what i did to deserve this.
i swear im getting better tho i just needed to let this out
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genuinely i feel u. it wasnt from a young age for me, its honestly this generation and social media. im a child of God, and there are some things my parents choose to limit me to bc of that (which is fine like id rather not get caught up) but its the way this whole generation acts imo..does that make sense
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yes it does and im also a child of god and im trying my best to keep up and thats great that your parents are limiting stuff mine dont do shit tbh i love my parents but they dont know whats actually going on
and yeah i tottally get why u dont wanna get caught up
and THATS WHAT IM SAYING THIS GENERATION IS HORRIBLE AND DISGUSTING
Thank you so much for sharing your story and showing immense courage in being so open about your pain. Your feelings of being scared, shaken, and disgusted are valid and normal responses to abnormal, traumatic experiences. You are not disgusting or a weirdo; you're going through a tough time. You deserve support and kindness. If you are having thoughts of self-harm or are in crisis, please reach out to professional help immediately. There is support available, and you don't have to go through this alone.
I'm so so so so so so so so so so X10000 sorry this happened to you. No one deserves that at such a young age. And those people who make fun of you are such @ssholes, please don't listen to them. you don't deserve any of this.
I was exposed to that when I was in second grade, at that point everyone knew about it because of a kid who was showing everyone, I was hooked and downloaded social media temporarily, I found more of those videos and kept watching them, I turned up the volume and I was in distress, but I still kept watching anyways, I had wet dreams and wet nightmares, I didn't know what to do, half of my class was traumatised, this lasted for months, it doesn't bother me anymore, and eventually that kid got busted, but I wish I could have found someone like a therapist to help me even sooner.