❥--[Mental Health Support Space]

[liminalstarlight]

I'm missing my mom really bad. She passed away 3 years ago now. And I hate my dad for stuff he's done. He's a covert narcissist and he's been stalking me over the years. I'm nervous about renewing my no contact order with him this summer and keep thinking about it off and on.

My alter Alaric hasn't been feeling quite right about it all either and we were in a dissociative funk a couple of nights ago over different crap (I have DID, Alaric is my main protector alter who also carries many trauma memories so I don't have to)

 

[🍓Yunberry🍓]

That is not true unnie . You literally the most energetic and most funny person I have ever seen I don’t that that friend was talking about the same person

Tyty jinnie

but like that’s lwk true, I barley smile at my house so I wear a mask so that I can just laugh with my eyes or looklike I’m happy

 

[🍓Yunberry🍓]

I'm missing my mom really bad. She passed away 3 years ago now. And I hate my dad for stuff he's done. He's a covert narcissist and he's been stalking me over the years. I'm nervous about renewing my no contact order with him this summer and keep thinking about it off and on.

My alter Alaric hasn't been feeling quite about it all either and we were in a dissociative funk a couple of nights ago over different crap (I have DID, Alaric is my main protector alter who also carries many trauma memories so I don't have to)

 

[˚.🎀༘⋆ pink.roxxe_:3 ˚.🎀༘⋆]

I'm missing my mom really bad. She passed away 3 years ago now. And I hate my dad for stuff he's done. He's a covert narcissist and he's been stalking me over the years. I'm nervous about renewing my no contact order with him this summer and keep thinking about it off and on.

My alter Alaric hasn't been feeling quite about it all either and we were in a dissociative funk a couple of nights ago over different crap (I have DID, Alaric is my main protector alter who also carries many trauma memories so I don't have to)

Ohhh that sounds rough I really wish I could give you a hug. I hope you situation gets better

 

[yutami]

i tried to promise myself that this time i would be better. it doesn't seem like im doing a good job. i dont want it to happen again i keep failing

 

[strawberrybirch]

I hate the way I act so much I hate my laugh I hate my awkwardness. I feel like whenever I talk to somebody I end up talking way to much and then I end up saying something stupid but then when i try to be quiet it’s all really awkward because I’m usually the one that talks all the time. I wish I could just find comfort in the quiet and not talk about stupid things and embarrassing mysel.

 

[𝕮✮𝖗𝖙𝖎𝖋𝖎✮𝖉 𝖑𝖔𝖘✮𝖗]

Spoiler: TW

i'm done with being the punch bag my younger sister needs. i'm done with not being able to do anything abt it. i'm done with my mum not doing anything about it when she knows she can. i'm done with relapsing. i'm done with crying. i'm done with this life. i'm not cold, or energetic. i'm not who ppl think i am. i'm not doing ok. i wanna cry so damn bad. i want to be confident. i want to be understood. i want to held and be told everything's ok. i want to be loved. is that really hard to ask for? i'm scared of the future and what may happen. what would happen with all the shit that's happening rn with my father and all that. what if i end up being a failure. i can't focus. it's like i can't feel anything good anymore. i say i'm fine, or doing alright but am i really? i don't even know anymore. it's like i don't know myself and i don't like it. ppl are playing games with my mind again and i'm so damn done with it. i'm insecure, but then u make me sound stupid for being insecure. u want to manipulate me and act like my friend. i don't want to eat. i js want to cry but i can't get myself to do that either. i'm putting a brave face on for my friends but now i want to do it for myself and act like i'm fine. i know i'm lying to myself but i can't stop it. there's no other way for me keep going. i js want all this to end. i js want to be normal but honestly i don't think i ever could anymore. i feel like a disappointment and i don't want to. i'm done with feeling ugly. i hate being vulnerable in front of ppl but now that's all i could do? but at the same time i'm not. my friends think i'm happy and now Caylan knows there's smth going on. i don't want to worry him rn. i know he's got my back and all and he's the best person i could've asked for in a bsf but there's so much going on for him to. i don't want to pull him back with me. i don't want to pull my sisters down with me. i know i get pissed off and done with my sisters but i do love them. i just don't know how to show how i feel anymore. i'm that emotionless kid that rants the bare minimum to my therapist. i don't even tell her all the bad shit anymore. js all the good things. i don't want people thinking i'm weak. i know i am but that doesn't mean people need to know. i want to smile. not the fake thing i keep doing. an actual smile. i miss my carefree childish self. i'm so much more tense now and i just can't focus anymore. all i ever want to do is vanish. it's not like people will actually notice let alone care. i'm just so done with my life and the way things are. it's been like this for way to long and i need a break. kpf was a safe space for me but i don't know about that either anymore. i don't have a reason to come online but i do anyway to talk to the friends i have on here. or when my irl friends come online. i feel stupid almost all the time now. all i do is disappoint and i genuinely wish i could rant and stop disappointing and hurting the people around me. i don't mean to and i'm not going to know unless u tell me. work's hectic and cadets is stressing me out. exams are starting and i'm just starting to stress even more. i am so done with everything that's going on. i just want to be loved. i want to stop feeling so insecure, i want my appetite back. but there's no point in wishing anymore. nothing comes true. i'm unlucky. i have everything i need in life and i am grateful for it but i just can't feel good about myself anymore. i relapsed over and over even tho i'm trying to stop. i'm so fucking weak and it fucking hurts. it's like pain is the only thing that distracts from pain. i don't want to be reliant on s/h but it helps. i know it shouldn't but it does. i hate it sm but it's like there's nothing else. i want to disappear. ppl at least will get a break from someone like me. i don't deserve anything good. the things that used to make me feel good don't help anymore. i want to be normal. normal and loved and cared for. i want to stop comparing myself to everyone around me but i can't and it's killing me.

 

[˚.🎀༘⋆ pink.roxxe_:3 ˚.🎀༘⋆]

Spoiler: TW

i'm done with being the punch bag my younger sister needs. i'm done with not being able to do anything abt it. i'm done with my mum not doing anything about it when she knows she can. i'm done with relapsing. i'm done with crying. i'm done with this life. i'm not cold, or energetic. i'm not who ppl think i am. i'm not doing ok. i wanna cry so damn bad. i want to be confident. i want to be understood. i want to held and be told everything's ok. i want to be loved. is that really hard to ask for? i'm scared of the future and what may happen. what would happen with all the shit that's happening rn with my father and all that. what if i end up being a failure. i can't focus. it's like i can't feel anything good anymore. i say i'm fine, or doing alright but am i really? i don't even know anymore. it's like i don't know myself and i don't like it. ppl are playing games with my mind again and i'm so damn done with it. i'm insecure, but then u make me sound stupid for being insecure. u want to manipulate me and act like my friend. i don't want to eat. i js want to cry but i can't get myself to do that either. i'm putting a brave face on for my friends but now i want to do it for myself and act like i'm fine. i know i'm lying to myself but i can't stop it. there's no other way for me keep going. i js want all this to end. i js want to be normal but honestly i don't think i ever could anymore. i feel like a disappointment and i don't want to. i'm done with feeling ugly. i hate being vulnerable in front of ppl but now that's all i could do? but at the same time i'm not. my friends think i'm happy and now Caylan knows there's smth going on. i don't want to worry him rn. i know he's got my back and all and he's the best person i could've asked for in a bsf but there's so much going on for him to. i don't want to pull him back with me. i don't want to pull my sisters down with me. i know i get pissed off and done with my sisters but i do love them. i just don't know how to show how i feel anymore. i'm that emotionless kid that rants the bare minimum to my therapist. i don't even tell her all the bad shit anymore. js all the good things. i don't want people thinking i'm weak. i know i am but that doesn't mean people need to know. i want to smile. not the fake thing i keep doing. an actual smile. i miss my carefree childish self. i'm so much more tense now and i just can't focus anymore. all i ever want to do is vanish. it's not like people will actually notice let alone care. i'm just so done with my life and the way things are. it's been like this for way to long and i need a break. kpf was a safe space for me but i don't know about that either anymore. i don't have a reason to come online but i do anyway to talk to the friends i have on here. or when my irl friends come online. i feel stupid almost all the time now. all i do is disappoint and i genuinely wish i could rant and stop disappointing and hurting the people around me. i don't mean to and i'm not going to know unless u tell me. work's hectic and cadets is stressing me out. exams are starting and i'm just starting to stress even more. i am so done with everything that's going on. i just want to be loved. i want to stop feeling so insecure, i want my appetite back. but there's no point in wishing anymore. nothing comes true. i'm unlucky. i have everything i need in life and i am grateful for it but i just can't feel good about myself anymore. i relapsed over and over even tho i'm trying to stop. i'm so fucking weak and it fucking hurts. it's like pain is the only thing that distracts from pain. i don't want to be reliant on s/h but it helps. i know it shouldn't but it does. i hate it sm but it's like there's nothing else. i want to disappear. ppl at least will get a break from someone like me. i don't deserve anything good. the things that used to make me feel good don't help anymore. i want to be normal. normal and loved and cared for. i want to stop comparing myself to everyone around me but i can't and it's killing me.

…….. all I want to say is I feel you I ….. also felt like this million of times, being the punching bag for my siblings, feeling like I am not good enough, feeling like I disappoint my parents, even feeling like it would be better to disappear (and also feeling like being human is hard )…. But i just want to tell you aren’t the only one I am not saying this to be nice I actually mean it. Everyone must have felt like this once or twice….. that just how humans work ( we overthink, we’re insecure, and don’t want to worry others.) but I want you to know there is always going to be someone who cares and loves you even if you don’t know it.
pls don’t disappear and pls try and get your appetite back cause it makes a big difference if you eat things you like.
.
i hope you feel a lot better pookie

 

[𝕮✮𝖗𝖙𝖎𝖋𝖎✮𝖉 𝖑𝖔𝖘✮𝖗]

…….. all I want to say is I feel you I ….. also felt like this million of times, being the punching bag for my siblings, feeling like I am not good enough, feeling like I disappoint my parents, even feeling like it would be better to disappear (and also feeling like being human is hard )…. But i just want to tell you aren’t the only one I am not saying this to be nice I actually mean it. Everyone must have felt like this once or twice….. that just how humans work ( we overthink, we’re insecure, and don’t want to worry others.) but I want you to know there is always going to be someone who cares and loves you even if you don’t know it.
pls don’t disappear and pls try and get your appetite back cause it makes a big difference if you eat things you like.
.
i hope you feel a lot better pookie

thank you

 

[˚.🎀༘⋆ pink.roxxe_:3 ˚.🎀༘⋆]

thank you

Np I just wanted you to know you are not the only one that feels that way

 

[‧˚꒰🎸୭ᢉ𐭩ᵎᵎ𝗌𐓣αƶƶ𝗒𖦹⋆🐿️˚｡⋆]

idk even know how i feel anymore lmao i highkey jst wanna scream and run away

 

[ashbarkpoopooluvyuki]

idk even know how i feel anymore lmao i highkey jst wanna scream and run away

run to me

 

[‧˚꒰🎸୭ᢉ𐭩ᵎᵎ𝗌𐓣αƶƶ𝗒𖦹⋆🐿️˚｡⋆]

run to me

lol

 

[ashbarkpoopooluvyuki]

lol

okay are you actually good bro? please feel good.

 

[‧˚꒰🎸୭ᢉ𐭩ᵎᵎ𝗌𐓣αƶƶ𝗒𖦹⋆🐿️˚｡⋆]

okay are you actually good bro? please feel good.

im ok

 

[ashbarkpoopooluvyuki]

im ok

nah nah nah DM me say all the shit.

 

[‧˚꒰🎸୭ᢉ𐭩ᵎᵎ𝗌𐓣αƶƶ𝗒𖦹⋆🐿️˚｡⋆]

nah nah nah DM me say all the shit.

no im ok man

 

[ashbarkpoopooluvyuki]

no im ok man

bruh tell me what's going on your mind

 

[‧˚꒰🎸୭ᢉ𐭩ᵎᵎ𝗌𐓣αƶƶ𝗒𖦹⋆🐿️˚｡⋆]

bruh tell me what's going on your mind

ash im ok

 

[ashbarkpoopooluvyuki]

ash im ok

nah bro you're different.